Seventeen Cakes
by vanessarae
Summary: Bella tries to keep her distance from Edward, thinking that she can't be hurt if he is never more than a pretty face. Too bad she doesn't let Edward in on her plan.
1. Prologue The Rules

**A/N**

**Ok. So, this is my first fic. Well, first anything, really. I come from visual arts, not written arts, so this is quite foreign to me. I thought I'd give it a shot, because I had a good time writing the side-shot on Rebelward Without a Cause (from Dead Confederates). **

**I have to give sloppy wet kisses to Tosh and Rie, because I never, ever, in a millions years would have done this without them. And thanks to Cartnee and Christina for pre-reading a bit as well. **

**Disclaimer: Not even remotely mine. SMeyer holds the keys to the kingdom, I'm just a visitor. **

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Prologue-The Rules

_Ghost_-Little Boots

_Withdraw into your other world_  
_I'm speaking but you do not hear a word_  
_Glaze over colder than a lake_  
_Frozen by our distances of late_

_It's clear as glass you smash_  
_My apparitions melt before your eyes_  
_My skull is full of dreams and nothing's as it seems_  
_In the black air under the trees_

_Do you even know that I'm here? I might as well be a ghost_  
_It's true, you walk right through me_  
_Look in the mirror and you, you see nothing but yourself_  
_It's true, I see right through you_

_It's true, you walk right through me_  
_It's true, I see right through you_

_Blank pages surrounding your eyes_  
_Overthrow the colors in your mind_  
_Science has always been a liar_  
_I can see you shiver in my fire_

_I'm falling like a snowflake_  
_Catch me quick before I disappear_  
_I'm fading like the sun_  
_And soon as I'm gone everything will come undone_

_Do you even know that I'm here? I might as well be a ghost_  
_It's true, you walk right through me_  
_Look in the mirror and you, you see nothing but yourself_  
_It's true, I see right through you_

_Do you even know that I'm here? I might as well be a ghost_  
_It's true, you walk right through me_  
_Look in the mirror and you, you see nothing but yourself_  
_It's true, I see right through you_

_It's true, you walk right through me_  
_It's true, I see right through you_  
_It's true, you walk right through me_  
_It's true, I see right through you_

BPOV

Another school year came to a close, concluding the second year of my infatuation with Edward Cullen. Maybe infatuation was a bad term.

Attraction? No, that implies reciprocation, and he didn't even know I existed.

Crush? Perhaps. But a crush indicates having a feeling of love for another. I didn't--don't love Edward. _It's true, don't scoff._

Obsession? No, too stalkerish. I didn't drive by his house late at night, hoping to catch a glimpse of his shadow on the curtain. I didn't actively seek out information on him, his whereabouts, or his goings-on (would I have passed up information freely offered, or gleaned second-hand? No. But I would never think about making it a point to discover those things). So, 'infatuation' it was.

No one could deny that he was really, really, ridiculously good-looking (_Blue Steel was a regular occurrence with him_), and he had an air about him that just screamed "_I am cooler than you, for very good reasons, but I won't bother sharing them with you because I don't really need the validation_". I had never even talked to him, never really had the opportunity to since we shared neither classes nor friends in common. I just admired from afar. Well, no, not admired. Hell, I suck at creating terms for things.

How about this: I liked to look at him. A lot. And frequently. I could not resist The Pretty. The boy was just too beautiful for his own good. But at the same time, it was a rugged pretty, with a strong jawline--_when he forgot/neglected to shave, it sent me to the floor. Or maybe it was just my underoos that were on the floor_--and heavy eyebrows that framed striking, expressive, green eyes. On top of all that was a mop of thick, messy, dark brown hair that glinted auburn in the sunlight. Obviously I've spent time looking at him. Who wouldn't? _Don't pretend you wouldn't; nobody likes a liar!_

But all of that tied up in a nice package, complete with a giant reddish-brown bow, led me to believe that underneath the shellac was just a pampered, conceited, self-involved model-in-waiting. I'd never heard or seen anything to prove contrary, and I just found it hard to believe that anybody could be that attractive and actually have redeeming qualities to boot. The universe would implode. So, it was easier to believe he was just another pretty (albeit very, _very_ pretty) face and it was likely best if I just stayed away, as I am so very good at doing. _It was something I had perfected the previous couple of years. _

I resigned myself to this truth quite early on in the Pacific Northwest edition of my scholastic career. When I moved up to Forks, Washington from Phoenix right before my freshman year of high school, I quickly discovered that gossip was my friend. Being such a small town, it was very easy to learn about the inhabitants in a short amount of time. I had just enough time before school started to apprise myself of the local teenager scene, therefore preventing likely embarrassing scenarios of not knowing who I was 'allowed' to talk to, and who I was meant to avoid. Edward Cullen was one of those in the 'avoid' column, purely because he was completely out of my league.

There is no experience that trumps being the new kid. Of course, I had been here before, but only in spurts to visit my father Charlie. That time, it was meant to be permanent. Two years later, I was definitely still there, and Edward was unfailingly still making my heart sputter.

Honestly, it was starting to piss me off.

My head had accepted the fact that I would never be with him--hell, would probably never even speak with him! Why in the H-E-double-hockey-sticks couldn't my hormones glean onto this fact? It was utterly ridiculous. I could name a few reasons that it would be better for me in the long run if I never saw Edward Cullen, ever again. For one, there was the huge, glaring, neon sign that pointed to his _girlfriend_, Kate Denali, every time he walked near me. They had been together all through their sophomore and junior years, and looked likely to continue well into senior year and beyond.

They were the perfect pairing. He was pretty, she was pretty, it was just one big shiny, happy, pretty coupling. You'd think they were Moses, the way the other students parted when they walked down the halls. Junior Prom King and Queen? Check. I don't think anybody even ran against them.

Kate wasn't someone that you could compete against anyway. She had the face, the bangin' bod, and was truly a generally nice person. I should know; when they first started dating, I tried every way possible to hate her. 'Twas impossible. It's like when a kitten spears your finger with a claw; you want to hate them for it, but they are so fucking cute that you can't help yourself but coo and make goo-goo eyes at it.

Another roadblock was my complete inability to function like a human when he was around. It's as if he carried around an electromagnetic pulse generator that he randomly engaged, completely obliterating all common sense and propriety in any member of the female population. Ok, then again, perhaps it was just me turning into to a pile of mush. _Don't judge._ _Even if I wanted to talk to him (which I didn't), he_ _couldn't have a conversation with a pile of mush_.

My biggest reason for not speaking with him was because I wanted to keep him as he was in my head--just something nice to look at. I didn't want to attempt to talk to him and have my suspicions validated; that he was a pompous, arrogant, conceited prick that would never deign to speak to the likes of a girl like me. Or the flip side, which could be even worse, have him prove to me that he was something _more_ under that stunning visage. The last thing I needed was to fall for him. If that happened, you might as well hand me the gun and position my hand for utmost damage to my brain. Nothing quite like wanting someone that will never want you back. _No thanks, I'll pass__!_

So let's recap, shall we? About three things I was absolutely positive.

First, Edward was too visually appealing to be a good guy. I just had to keep that in mind in case I ever actually interacted with him. Heaven forbid I actually start to _like _him in addition to lusting over him. I can't multi-task.

Second, there was a part of me—and I didn't know how dominant that part might be--that really wanted to find out what he was like under the _GQ_ face. _That would be the masochistic part._

And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in deep shit if I ever fell in love with him. _Note to self: in the interest of self-preservation, don't ever fall for Edward Cullen._

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**a/n**

**Pop Culture references**

Blue Steel: From the movie _Zoolander_. Signature pose "look" of title character, Derek Zoolander

Electromagnetic pulse (EMP): From multiple sources, but I got it from _The Matrix_. Wiki says this: It creates an electromagnetic field around itself, which disrupts electronic devices, causing them to shut down. All of Zions hovercraft carry devices capable of producing EMPs. The blast from an EMP is sufficient enough to disable any electrically-powered machine within its blast radius.

Moses: from the Bible. Parted the Red Seas to help the Hebrew slaves escape Egypt.

GQ: Gentlemen's Quarterly, a lovely magazine that happened to feature Rob Pattinson in their April 2009 issue. I keep a copy handy at work for moments of bliss.

**So, if you liked this prologue, make sure to put this on story alert, and like any writer, I would love it if you would review. Even if it just says "I like this, update soon!" Yes, even those work. I will absolutely take _constructive_ criticism. Notice the emphasis on constructive. Thanks for reading!  
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	2. I'm on a Boat with a Whirling Dervish

**A/N**

**Well I have to say that I am pleased with the reception for this. I have a few people ask if this will be like Sixteen Candles in any way. While it was an inspiration for me, it will NOT follow the movie. You might recognize a scene or two or perhaps some details, because really, there were just some epic things going on in that movie. But it was just inspiration, not the basis for my story. But I am very glad you picked up on it ;)**

**So, anybody up for a little Charlie and Alice? I sure am. **

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Chapter One-I'm on a Boat with a Whirling Dervish

_Oh So Quiet_-Bjork

_it's. oh. so quiet  
it's oh. so still  
you're all alone  
and so peaceful until..._

I woke up early on Saturday morning to discover the sun pouring in through my window. The warmth felt nice on my face, and I immediately decided to take advantage of the anomaly. I threw my hair up into a ponytail, slipped on shorts and a tank top, and grabbed my beat-up copy of Interview with a Vampire. _Hey, Louis is the best literary vampire ever, and Brad Pitt makes for a good visual. Never said I read books to discover the meaning of life._

I traipsed downstairs to behold Charlie stacking buttered toast onto a plate. At least, I thought it was toast. _Was toast supposed to look like a hockey puck?_

"Mornin', kiddo. Have some of my specialty-- Toast du Charlie."

"Charlie, please don't ever try to speak French again. It frightens me. And thanks." I gave him a peck on the cheek as I walked by, and snatched a couple pieces that looked edible. I went into the fridge to find my grape jelly (I don't do jam—never been a big proponent of pieces of fruit in food that aren't actually the fruit itself), and slathered a thick layer on each slice.

He chuckled and said, "Hey, we've got a nice day today. I'm going to go out on the boat." _'The Boat' was an old wooden death trap with oars. _"You want to join me?"

My movements came to a halt and I flicked my eyes in his direction. _Ex-squeeze me? Baking powder?_

"Um, what?" I hadn't been invited on The Boat since I was twelve and was the cause of it tipping over because I stood up to get away from a bee. "You want me out there with you?"

"Sure, Bells. Come spend time with your old man." He seemed to have a hopeful glint in his eye. _Either that or he was trying not to cry from choking on his charred toast._

I thought about it for a few moments, trying to recollect the last time we actually spent time together that didn't involve the TV or kitchen table, and said, "Well, okay. I was just going to lie out and read anyway. Sure Char—Dad." If he was going to make an extra effort today, so was I.

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After gathering up the rest of our supplies—sandwiches (lazy-man's grilled cheese—toast, butter, and two slices of cheese), towels (um, for just in case, y'know), a cooler (water for me, six-pack of Rainier beer for him), and Charlie's fishing pole—we drove down to the lake.

Charlie untied the boat from its mooring, and I jumped in. Literally. Apparently I forgot boat etiquette already, and we weren't even away from the dock. After the rocking subsided and I caught my balance, Charlie glared at me. I responded with a sheepish, "Sorry, Dad."

He grunted his forgiveness and we were off. He rowed us out to the middle of the lake and pulled the oars up onto their U-shaped rests. His fishing pole was carefully removed from its home on the boat bottom, and he glanced at me and said, "You want to try first?"

I resisted the urge to break out into raucous laughter, instead snorting and saying, "That's a big negative, Hoss. I really don't need an accidental facial piercing, as much as I know I could totally pull it off."

Charlie had a contemplative look on his face, as if he were picturing me with a nose, eyebrow, or lip ring, then shuddered and quickly shook his head, "Okay then." He then turned around, popped open a can of Vitamin R, and tossed his line out into the water.

"Hey, Dad, know what song this reminds me of?" I launched into _I'm on a Boat_ by The Lonely Island, appropriately editing for Charlie's prude ears.

_I'm on a boat motherlover, take a look at me _  
_Straight floating on a boat on the deep blue sea _  
_Busting five knots, wind whipping out my coat _  
_You can't stop me motherlover, cause I'm on a boat_

I could practically hear the fish gills flapping as we sat there staring at each other. Charlie's next words shocked the shit out of me though. "Bells, I do believe it is 'motherfucker', not 'motherlover'." _Charlie's sense of humor for the win, Tom! _

I couldn't control the shocked laughter that burst from my mouth, my eyes as wide as saucers. I clamped my hand over my lips to try to contain the giggles, but it was an endeavor destined for failure. Charlie kept a straight face for a hot second, and then he lost control and started clutching his stomach and sides from the laughter-induced pain. It took us a few minutes to calm down, and we both exhaled big sighs of relief. I had to say that I was starting to see a different side of Charlie all of a sudden. I wondered if it has anything to do with him hanging around Sue Clearwater from the reservation_. I always knew she was a dirty bird!_

I settled back into my half of the boat, propping my feet up on the bench seat in the middle. It would be nice to get _some_ sun. I cracked open my book and prepared to immerse myself in the sinning revelry of Lestat de Lioncourt and the shame of Louis de Pointe du Lac.

The lack of speaking didn't seem to be a problem between the two of us, as I surfaced 2 hours later—_I was right at the part where Louis turns Claudia. Don't know if I'll ever get Kirsten Dunst's_ _snaggle-tooth out of my head_—to hear Charlie say he was hungry. I pulled the sandwiches out of the cooler and nearly inhaled mine. I was starved! I seemed to also be extremely thirsty, judging by the multiple empty water bottles on the boat bottom. _I didn't even remember drinking those._ Come to think of it, I didn't feel the greatest…_mother of God! My skin is on fire!_

I looked at my shoulders to see they were colored a slight pink in the bright sunlight. So deceiving. So mocking. _Aw, you just wanted some color, huh? _

"Um, Dad, I think maybe I should head back home. I forgot to put on sun block, and will be paying for it in approximately 32 minutes. Maybe less."

"Ok Bells. I'll drop you off at shore. You think you can make it home alone?"

"Yeah, it's not too far. I can walk. I think. But don't worry if you get home and I'm not there. Just backtrack and look for the lump of flesh on the side of the road; the red sheen should act as a beacon." He scrunched up his face and looked at me like I had suddenly grown a third arm.

"Ri-ight. I'll see you at home Bella." He came to a stop next to the dock, and I hop—_carefully_ stepped out.

"Thanks again for the invite, Dad. It was nice."

"Anytime Bells. Maybe next time we can sing some Dr. Horrible too?"

I gaped at him, trying to register that my dad—_Forks_ _Chief of Police Charlie Swan_—knew what Dr. Horrible's Sing-along Blog was. He recognized the confusion on my face, apparently.

"What, Bella? I'm down with the kids." He grinned mischievously, and all I could do was shake my head and wander off. _Sue was definitely a bad influence_. _I liked it._

_---  
_

When I got home, I stripped off my clothes and jumped into a cold shower. I had heard those were good for sunburns. _Whoever the fuck told me that was a lying liar_. I yelped from the icy chill, slipped on the slick porcelain, and grabbed the shower curtain to catch myself before I could fall gracelessly to the floor. I leapt out of the tub and careened back into my bedroom. I tossed on some cut-off sweat pant shorts and a light cotton tank top, and sat at the edge of my bed. _What to do, what to do._ This being Forks, land of eternal doom and gloom weather, I knew we didn't have anything around for sunburn relief. I sat down at my computer and Googled 'sunburn remedies'. Hm, rose water, aloe vera, lavender oil…_this constitutes a trip to Tar-jay. Bullseye, here I come!_

I ran down the stairs, grabbed my keys off the hook by the door, and quickly wrote out a note for Charlie, letting him know where I had gone. Target was halfway from Forks to Port Angeles, and it would be a while before I would return home.

I settled into Big Bertha—_my aptly-named '53 Chevy, she of bulbous curves and faded, rusty, red paint—_and backed out of the driveway. The trip to Target took nearly 30 minutes, but all the time in the world is worth it when you pull into the parking lot of that majestic kingdom of toys and toiletries alike.

My tires squealed into a parking spot, and I slid out of the cab. I turned and headed toward the automatic doors that marked the entrance to Heaven. Directing my steps to the right, I started looking up and down the Health and Beauty section for the appropriate aisles that might contain my needed ingredients. I stopped dead in my tracks when I heard a high-pitched shriek being emitted from behind me.

"Oh my Lord you are so red!" I turned to see a wisp of a black and lime green streak coming at me. _What in the hell? Should I run?_ _Hide?_ _Scream? Would it make a difference?_

The blur stopped directly in front of me, "Hi there, I'm Mary Alice Brandon, but you can call me Alice. I just moved here yesterday, and OH EM GEE I just had to hit up the Bullseye to find the best stuff to kit out my room! I was over in Linens, and I saw you walk in—couldn't miss that bright red!—and just had to come over to see if you needed help with something. I mean, obviously you are looking for supplies for sunburn relief—_yeouch!_ Didn't you think to put sun block on? I carry it with me everywhere I go. I like to keep this skin light and cancer-free, even though I'm from LA. I just—"

"Whoa! Relax there, my little Chihuahua friend. Alice, was it?" I had to interrupt her just so my head didn't explode.

"Yep, that's me!" She smiled exuberantly.

"Well, Alice, thank you for your concern. Yes, I got sunburned. Constant sun in a single day isn't exactly commonplace around here, so I didn't even think to put on sun block. Hence, my visit here. And my name is Bella. Bella Swan." I eyed her warily, just waiting for the next burst of lightning to hit.

"Oh Bella, you are going to be so glad I found you! I know just the thing to help! Come here."

She dragged me into an aisle, and reached out a lithe hand to grab a bottle off the shelf. I took a moment to take in her appearance, as her back was turned for a moment, and saw that she was wearing a bright green fitted T-shirt with black leggings under a black-and-white patterned mini skirt. _I swear I saw that exact outfit on someone in the Metro Station 'Shake It' video…_

"Here, this is aloe vera with Lidocaine. Very effective. Also, mix three to four tablespoons of oatmeal into a lukewarm bath, it should help loads. Oh, do you want me to come over and help? I don't mind. I don't have any plans for the afternoon." If it was possible to get motion sickness from watching a person, I had it. On second thought, it wasn't a question of if it was possible. I knew it was. Where the hell were the Dramamine tablets? _If I was going to spend any additional time with this whirling dervish, I would need them._

"Um…okay. But you don't even know where I live. I don't want you driving somewhere unnecessarily or if it is far for you."

"Well, you live in Forks don't you? So do I!" _What the? Who the hell? How did she know that? I know this area is small, but there are plenty of places I could live._

I slowly said, "Ye-e-e-e-s. And you knew this how?"

"Oh, I just know things. It's strange. My family is used to it, I guess, so I forget how odd it can sound to other people. Sorry for freaking you out or something! Anyhoo, I just need to finish up picking out my boudoir ensemble and then we can check out!" _I was starting to think she'd already checked out—of reality. _But still, she had a pull that was hard to resist. I found myself wondering what she had chosen for her _boudoir ensemble_. Before I could open my mouth, she had pulled my hand and taken off toward Linens.

---

Upon checking out, we left Target and walked to our respective vehicles. _Well, I walked. Alice skipped. _It was decided Alice would follow me home, as I wasn't about to go to a stranger's house immediately after meeting them. _Nope, I'd rather bring her back to where my gun-toting, police Chief father resides. Just in case she was a true nut-bag._

I saw Alice get into a cornea-searing yellow car—I think it was a Lamborghini. Was that the car with the bull on the emblem? If so, then that was what she was driving. _Was she for real? Who actually drove those, let alone in Forks, and someone under 18??_

Shaking my head in bizarre wonderment, I turned out of the parking lot to head home. Alice kept up just fine… _duh, she was in a motherloving Lamborghini_… and parked behind me when I finally pulled into my driveway. She popped out of the car like it wasn't riding on the ground, and practically spun toward me in immense glee and anticipation. I couldn't resist asking her about the car.

"So, Alice, is that a Lamborghini? I have never seen one up close before."

She squealed—_fucking squealed—_and said, "Yes! I got it for my sixteenth birthday present from my parents. They felt way super bad about going off to travel all the time, so that was their way of asking forgiveness. Of course I totes forgave them, who wouldn't?" _Totes? In the context, I am pretty sure it meant 'totally'. I am going to have to brush up on my text-speak. _

"So this is your house, Bella? It's so cute! I just love quaint houses. There is something so magical about them, like you never know what you are going to find!" _OH EM GEE. This was going to take some getting used to. Although, I should really work on figuring out how to bottle her energy. I'd be a rich bitch._

"Yes, this is it. I don't see my dad's truck, so I'm guessing he went down to the Quileute reservation to spend time with his honey. Let's go upstairs and see if we can make me feel better."

As I took her upstairs to my room, I suddenly became self-conscious about _my_ bedroom ensemble. She took a seat on my bed and exclaimed, "Ohmigod this is so adorable! I love the hippie-meets-Victorian thing with the curtains! And _love_ the purple bedding!"

"Er, well, yeah, thanks. Those curtains have been up since I was a baby and my dad picked out the bedding for me when I first moved here permanently two years ago." He'd had no clue what I would like, so he asked the saleslady at the store for help. She took pity on him and suggested the purple. It worked.

"So, since I can't really reach the back of my shoulders, would you mind helping me out here?" I held up the bottle of aloe, quirking an eyebrow at her.

"Sure! Pull your straps down." _Well, I usually require a nice dinner and a movie before I strip for someone, but she was very commanding for a person so small. _I did as she demanded. She expertly rubbed the aloe into my skin, and within minutes I felt cool relief as the Lidocaine kicked in. I'd attempt the oatmeal bath tonight if I still had pain.

"Well thanks for your help, Alice; it was very nice meeting you. I'm sure I'll be seeing you around town." _Not that I could miss her in that car._

"Well duh, silly! We are going to be the best of friends, just you wait! Hey! Why don't you come over to my house? I'm sure my aunt and uncle wouldn't mind. They encouraged me to go out and find friends before school started in the fall." _I'm sure they did. Did they also encourage you to make them hyperventilate from just listening to you?_

"Um, okay. Let me just leave a note for Charlie." I jotted down a blurb to Charlie to let him know I was out with a Ritalin-requiring sprite, and to just watch for the flash of yellow through town.

---

We turned off the main highway onto a gravel road, and it brought me back from the stupor of listening to Alice talk for fifteen minutes without taking a breath. _Fine, I exaggerated. But barely._

I saw a huge white house come into view; two stories of white upon white, windows upon windows, with columns encasing the front porch. There was a detached garage off to the left, which looked to be able to house four cars. Alice just parked out front, not bothering to pull into the garage. We got out of the Lamborghini—_not without some effort on my part. Good Lord, they made those things hug the asphalt!—_and headed up to the front door.

Alice nearly pirouetted through the doorway, announcing, "Aunt Esme, Uncle Carlisle! I'm home! And I've brought a friend!" _Wait one Brad Pitt-loving minute. Did she just say Aunt _Esme_? As in, _Edward Cullen's mother?

"Alice? I thought you said your last name was Brandon?" _This had to be a coincidence with the first name. This couldn't be—_

"It is. I'm living here with my aunt and uncle for the rest of my high school career because my parents decided to go tour Africa. Geez, Bella, weren't you listening to a thing I said in the car?" _I ignored that last part and asked her what I really needed to know_.

"Alice, what is the last name of your aunt and uncle? You said Esme and Carlisle, right? What was their last name?" _I could hear the panic starting to rise in my voice, and it felt nearly solid forming in my throat._

"It's Cullen. Esme and Carlisle Cullen. Why do you ask, Bella?" _And she said it. She said the word I did not want to hear. _

Cullen.

How am I supposed to stay away from Edward if I'm going to be hanging with his _cousin_?!? In his _house_?! This is going to be much, much harder than the previous two years. I was doing just fine, only seeing him in small doses in school, being prepared so that when I did see him I could resist. But now? Now that Mary Alice Brandon decided to impede upon my existence?

Fuck my life.

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**References**

Interview with a Vampire, Lestat de Lioncourt, Louis de Pointe du Lac: First book in a series of novels by Anne Rice, the two main vampires. My first love affair with a brooding vampire.

_Ex-squeeze me, baking powder:_ Quips from Wayne's World, when Wayne and Garth couldn't believe what someone said

Lazy-man's grilled cheese: exactly how I described it. Toast (or just bread if you are truly lazy), butter, and 2 slices of American cheese. Perfect if you have no time nor inclination to pull out the griddle.

Hoss: nickname for Eric Cartwright on _Bonanza_. Please tell me you've heard of _Bonanza_.

Vitamin R: nickname for Rainier beer Charlie drinks.

_I'm on a Boat_: song by Andy Samberg from The Lonely Island. Mr. Samberg has brought us classics such as _Dick in a Box _and _Jizz in My Pants_.

"For the win, Tom": Hollywood Squares phrase, when a contestant chooses a square that will win them the game if they get the question right.

Dr. Horrible's Sing-along Blog: From the genius of Joss Whedon. Just YouTube it. I love Neil Patrick Harris and Nathan Fillian.

Metro Station, _Shake It_: catchy song with an infectious chorus

Alice's car: Lamborghini Gallardo LP 560-4 Spyder. Picture on profile.

**And that concludes today's lesson on random minutiae that no one ever needs to know, but for some reason, I do.**

**Reviews are better than Justin Timberlake singing **_**Dick in a Box**_**. **


	3. Jiffy Pop, SitUps, and Lady Liberty

**A/N**

**Ok, apparently these notes are supposed to be short in the beginning, so I'll make it quick. You will recognize a couple scenes from Sixteen Candles here...they were too perfect to pass up. And um, I think you'll recognize one from another decent movie.**

**Music for the chapter: If You Were Here-Thompson Twins, Forever Young-Alphaville, Alcohol-Barenaked Ladies, Tiny Dancer-Ben Folds Five. Links are on my profile.**

**Huge thanks to AmryMarie, goldenmeadow, and RedVelvetHeaven. You guys are my defacto betas right now, until I get my act together and submit to PTB. Couldn't do it without you. On with the chapter.**

**Disclaimer: Twilight and its characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. Sixteen Candles belongs to John Hughes.**

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Chapter 2-Jiffy Pop, Sit-Ups, and Lady Liberty

_If You Were Here_-Thompson Twins

_If you were here, I could deceive you_

_And if you were here, you would believe_

_But would you suspect, my emotion wandering, yeah_

_Do not want a part of this anymore_

_

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**BPOV**

I started getting all panicky inside, wondering if Edward was home as well. The garage doors had all been closed, so I hadn't noticed if his car was there or not. _This cannot seriously be happening. What could I possibly have done in this lifetime, or previous ones for that matter, to deserve this?_

Suddenly Alice let out a screechy "Oh nooooez!" _Oh _noez_???_ _What the fuck planet was she from?_

"Alice, you are really going to have to translate yourself when speaking to me. What is 'oh noez', and what effect does it have on you and I?"

"Bella, I just saw on my Twitter feed from Breaking News that John Hughes has died! You know, _Sixteen Candles_, _Breakfast Clu_b, _Uncle Buck_ John Hughes? The eighties are officially over! This calls for a remembrance party! Do you think your dad would mind if you stayed the night? We need to stay up all night with Jake Ryan, John Bender, Ferris Bueller, and Ducky!!"

"Alice, for one, the eighties were over before you were born. Two, no, Charlie would not mind. And three, Jake Ryan is a god. Whatever happened to the actor after that movie? It's like he vanished."

"Oh goody! I think we have popcorn here—," she disappeared into the walk-in pantry, and re-emerged briefly only to throw the popcorn package at me, "--and OOH OOH OOH! Sugar, Cap'n Crunch, and bread! We have to make an Ally Sheedy sandwich!!" _There were suddenly warning bells clanging in my head, screaming at me to take away the sugar!_I threw the popcorn in the microwave before answering her.

"How about we just start with the popcorn, Alice? We can always come back for those supplies if need be." I retrieved the popcorn from the microwave and poured it into a bowl--_which conveniently had 'Popcorn' emblazoned on the side_--and turned back to set it on the counter.

A deep, syrup-laced voice spoke up behind me, "Supplies for what?"

"AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" I threw the popcorn bowl up into the air, showering us in the freshly popped kernels. I froze where I stood, not daring to turn around, while the bowl clattered noisily on the floor. _Please let it be Mr. Cullen, please let it be Mr. Cullen_.

"Edward!" Alice's voice chimed out. _Wrong Mr. Cullen._

"Would somebody please explain why I've got Jiffy Pop in my hair?" _A very good question indeed, Edward. I was not going to be offering an answer_.

"Oh, this is my new friend, Bella Swan! She's a bit jumpy it seems. We're getting ready for a John Hughes-a-thon!" From the corner of my eye, I could see Alice picking out the fluffy white objects deftly. I still hadn't turned around enough to see him completely yet. _I was hoping I'd just kind of blend into the Formica—or was that granite? Probably granite, seeing as how nothing in this house looked to cost less than what my life was worth—and tile, thus negating the need for introductions._

"Bella, this is my cousin Edward. He's a year ahead of us at school, so he gets to be a Senior this year!" _Yep, aware, thanks._

I slowly turned, bracing myself for an onslaught of the blinding fuckawesomeness he was bound to exude at such close proximity. _It probably looked like I lacked the proper motor skills to turn without falling down, but whatever. _

"Hi Bella, it's nice to meet you." He held his hand out as if he wanted me to shake it. _Uhhhh, no. That was not happening. I wa__s not touching him. I might have melted. _I just stared at his hand, like the dumbass I am, then raised my eyes up to his, feeling my cheeks flush with terror. _Oh. My. God. He was even more beautiful up close. How was this possible?? Wasn't it against the laws of physics or something?_

I still hadn't said a word.

I'm pretty sure I managed a smile in there, though. Or half of one. _Maybe_.

He looked at me the way you look at a two year old when they are trying to explain to you what they want, but you aren't fluent in toddler-speak. _And cue the thoughts of imagining him with kids. That's just fucking great._

I quickly grabbed Alice's hand, blurting "Ready?", and took off toward the stairs, where I assumed her bedroom would be located. I looked at her, raising my eyebrows and wrenching my head to look up toward the landing, questioning her with my eyes. She frowned and led the way up to her room. Once we were safely ensconced in her lair, she laid into me.

"What was _that_?" She gave me a pointed look, probably while calculating how far away the nearest insane asylum was located.

"What?" I retorted, defensively.

"Um, you practically ran away screaming from my cousin. I've never seen someone's face go so white, especially considering how sun-burned you are. Do you know him from somewhere already? _Oh my God_, did you date him??"

A short _ha!_ burst from my mouth. "Um, no, I definitely did not date him. I know who he is. I've seen him at school. But he doesn't even know I exist. Well, until now." _Well that was certainly leaving out a few finer details—mainly that you practically worship him from afar! _ Shut up! I do not!! Lookie, no thinkie, remember?

Her eyes widened until her eyelashes were hitting her perfect brows, "Shut. Up. You like him! You should have seen the look on your face when he spoke! And look at you now, your complexion looks like a tomato! You know that he has a girlfriend, right? I mean, I'm all about true love—"

I had to cut her off, "Alice, stop right there. I don't like him. He spooked me is all; I wasn't expecting anyone else to be here. And yes, I am quite aware he has a girlfriend, and that she is perfect, thanks." _True love? She must be certifiable. How did she leap from me being mute, to true love? Did I bring that Dramamine with? Because I needed some at that very moment, what with the rollercoaster she was taking me on. _You thought I was kidding about the Dramamine in the store, didn't you? _Ha._

Her face morphed into an all-knowing, smug smirk. "Ok, if that is how you want to play it. Fine. I'll go along with it, but don't you think this is the last time we visit this particular topic!"

I groaned and sharply nodded. _Whatever it took to get her off my back._

"Fine, whatever. Now, let's get cracking; we don't want to keep Molly and Emilio waiting!"_ This had been the longest day of my life, and it wasn't even over yet._

_

* * *

  
_

**EPOV**

I stood there with my hand still out in the air. _Well, that was a first._ I'm pretty sure I'd never made a girl mute, and I'm also quite positive I'd never had one practically sprint in the other direction.

_Did I smell? _I took a quick inventory sniff of the pits. Nope, fresh as rain-scented Right Guard.

_Did Alice get all the popcorn out of my hair?_ Glancing in the reflective surface of the microwave, I did a shake test to see if anything fell out—negatory.

I was officially perplexed. _Oh well_. I shook it off. If Alice's new friend was anything like her, there probably was no explanation for her peculiarity.

Shaking my head, I pulled out my phone, and started scrolling through for Emmett. I found him, hit 'send', and waited while his ringing tone of _Richman_ by 3OH!3 played back at me. _How ironic._ He answered, and we made quick plans for me to go to his house and work out.

When I arrived at Emmett's, we went straight to the basement, a.k.a. The Gym. It was just a collection of free weights and a couple second-hand machines, but they served their purpose. I could afford to buy a bigger collection that was brand new, but I kind of enjoyed going over to Emmett's to hang out down there. _No sense in buying things just to spend money.  
_

I started on the pull-up bar that was bisecting the doorway, grabbing with both palms facing toward me. Emmett took a seat on the bench and reached toward a dumbbell for curls.

"So, Emmett, who is the girl this week?" _Emmett was the kind of guy that, um, how do I put this delicately--got around. Oh for fuck's sake, Emmett is anything but delicate. He liked to love 'em and leave 'em._

"Which one?" I paused mid-pull to look at him, and saw a smirk on his mouth.

"Oh, you've got multiples this week, huh? Well, who are the _girls_ this week, then?"_ Who could possibly be left in school that he hasn't already sampled?  
_

"Irina and Tanya. Sisters. _Twins_." As he said the last word, he raised both eyebrows, as if to punctuate how hot it was. _Not __gonna__ lie. It was hot._

"Oh the Russian exchange students, huh? Can't say I'm surprised." _He usually preferred the ones that were less likely to stick around afterward. _Exchange students were perfect for this, since they left to go back to their country after a semester. He'd already had his taste of German, French, Polish, Spanish, and even Dutch wares. _Add Russian to the tally_, I thought, mentally licking my finger and ticking a mark on the chalkboard.

"I just couldn't help myself, man. They brought some of that Stoli vodka--love their fucking T-shirts, by the way--and we did a little boozin'. One thing led to another, and well, a gentleman never kisses and tells." He paused for dramatic effect. "Good fucking thing I'm not a gentleman!" He let out a bellowing laugh, slapping his knee emphatically. _No, Emmett, you are more like the antithesis of a gentleman. _

"As much as I'd love to hear all about it, I don't need a fucking woody right now. Trying to work out, remember?" _Emmett's stories left little to the imagination, and usually __resulted in__ me leaving to go add new images to the spankbank._

He laughed again and said, "Ok Eddie-man. Let's do sit-ups." _Dammit, he knows I hate it when he calls me that. Its so fucking trailer-trash._

We both laid down on the floor side-by-side, but facing each other. Putting my hands behind my head, I started into my set of crunches. _Hm, I wonder if Emmett knows this Bella girl...maybe he will know why she acted the way she did. _

"Hey, do you know Bella Swan?" _I found myself kind of hoping he said 'yes'. My curiosity had been piqued. _

"Gonna be a junior, right?" He answered as he was vertical.

"Yeah, what do you think of her?" _Please don't tell me you think of her wet and naked. _We kept alternating speaking when we were each upright.

"I don't." He deadpanned, giving me an odd look.

"Alice met her today I guess, and brought her home like a lost puppy. I apparently startled her, and she threw popcorn in my hair. Sort of. But then when I tried to introduce myself, she didn't say a word, looked terrified, and ran from the room dragging Alice behind her." _This was really starting to bug the fuck outta me.  
_

"Maybe she's retarded." _My eyes rolled so dramatically around my sockets that it gave me a headache._

"I'm sure she's not retarded. I wish I could remember seeing her at school though." My mind started flashing through stillframes of hallways and classrooms at school, trying to pick her out. _No dice_.

"Why? You want to bone her? Edward, she's a child."

"No, Emmett, I don't want to _bone her_. I just feel bad because I don't know who she is." _Although she was kind of cute, when she wasn't trembling in fear._

"And what do you mean she's a child?" _Ok, so maybe I wanted to bone her. A little. Stop looking at me like that. It's in my genetic make-up to think about sex every time I look at a woman._

"Well, what are you gonna do with her? She's obviously too young to party serious." _It isn't always about the party._

"Maybe I'm interested in more than a party." _Was there a reason we were discussing this? And why was this Bella girl the center of the conversation? I don't even know her._

"Come on, Edward. You talk like you're hard up. Man, you've already got Kate; now that's a real woman!" _Of course he would say that. I'm pretty sure that if I hadn't been with Kate for so long, Emmett would've tried to add her to the repertoire long ago._

"Fuck, man. I don't know. Yes, Kate is a _real woman_, the sex is great. But what if I want something more?" By this time, I had stopped doing my sit-ups, and was resting my forearms on my knees, my right hand clasping my left wrist. I looked Emmett's way, and found him staring at me in absolute confusion.

"Dude, are you _emoting_? Should I go get you some of my mom's eyeliner? Do you prefer black, or black?"_ What a fucking asshole. Here I am, trying to have a serious conversation with my best friend, and he castrates me.  
_

I shoved him hard with my hands, sending him sprawling out on the floor. He started laughing again.

"Shut up, dick! Fuck. I just have a lot on my mind lately. Is it so fucking wrong to want to love someone that will love me back?" He was practically rolling around from laughing so hard at this point.

"You might want to check yer panties to see if the ole cock and balls have been sucked back up to create a vadge, dude!" _Motherfucker..._I gave him a swift kick near the nuts as a warning. He assumed a defensive position but kept on laughing. _Are those...? For real? He's got tears running down his face. What a bastard._

"Shut the fuck up Emmett. I'm done with my workout, I'm going home. I'll see your stupid ass later. Don't forget about the Fourth of July party at my house, asshole. Alice knows how to throw a _fiesta_. Bring your brother too. I miss that fuck." _Jasper was the polar opposite of Emmett._ _No wonder I liked him so much._

Wiping the tears from his eyes, he managed to spit out, "Will do. Vadge." _One last swift kick to the ass won't hurt..._

_

* * *

  
_

The next couple of weeks passed by pretty quickly. Kate and I went out a few times, I chilled with Emmett, and I checked out some new bands I had heard about. The one constant though was that I always ended up wondering what Bella was doing. Whether she would like the movie I was watching, or if she had heard any of a band's music before. I met the girl once, barely, and for some reason she was sticking in my mind like a damn fly-strip.

I knew Bella had been coming over to hang with Alice, but for some reason, I never managed to see her. The girl was quite elusive. _Hmmm, wonder why that was_.

I woke up the morning of the 4th to a banging noise coming from downstairs. _Are you fucking kidding me?_ I rolled over and looked at my alarm clock. 7:45. _Again, are you fucking kidding me??_ Groaning, I sat up.

I rolled out of bed, slipping on a pair of basketball shorts, and trudged down the stairs. I only made it about halfway down before I saw enough to make me want to go back to bed.

"_Squee_, Edward, you're up! I need your opinion real quick. Should Lady Liberty be in the corner by the piano, or by the bar? I'm thinking by the bar, but I just don't know. What do you think?" I stared at Alice for a full minute, trying to process what she just threw at me. _Too fucking early. Must. Sleep._ I swept my eyes around the room, taking in the decorations for the party tonight. _How in the hell did she get a human-sized Statue of Liberty? I'm not even gonna ask_. I just looked at her one last time, frowned for good measure, and began my ascent back to my warm, snuggly bed.

"Well someone woke up on the wrong side of the batcave this morning. Don't sleep too much longer! I'll need your help with the patio arrangements!" _How did she keep this energy up? Did Red Bull sponsor her?_

I grunted out something unintelligible and waved my hand backward at her.

I managed to make it back to my room without falling asleep in the hallway, and plopped on the bed. _Better rest up, Cullen. Today is going to be a long day. _I promptly fell back to sleep.

* * *

As soon as I woke up again, Alice was on me like white on rice. Put this here, move that over there, does this look right here--_ask me if I care_--no, it needs three balloons, not four!--_which prompted a lecture on a proper visual using an odd number of objects_. While the end result looked good, I can't say that the process was one I'd particularly like to repeat.

"Alice, can I please be done here? The house looks awesome, and Kate's expecting me soon. I need to go get ready."

"Oh all right! Thanks for all your help, cousin dear. And wear the blue and green striped Tommy Bahama shirt with the Lucky dark wash jeans." _Huh? I just bought those...how did she..._

"How did you know about those, Alice? I just bought them and they are still sitting in the bag on my floor. Were you snooping--"

"I haven't been in your room. Just wear them." She gave me a wink and waltzed out of the room. _I'm not sure I'll ever get used to her. _

I moved to go into the bathroom to take a shower, picking up the shopping bag and tossing it on my bed along the way. _Time to get pretty._

As I was heading out to my car, I glanced at _Lady Liberty_ again and shook my head. _At least I knew it would be a good party_. When she lived in LA, Alice was legendary for her parties. I'd seen her in action a couple times during visits, and it was always a blowout. Her parents were never home, and she always gave the house help the night off for her blowouts. She may be young, but she sure knows how to throw down.

I entered the garage and headed straight for my car. After settling into the seat, I backed up and whipped around in the large paved area in front. I was going to be late picking up Kate, but I didn't really care too much. She was really starting to annoy me with her superficiality. Ask anyone else, and she's a _super nice_ person, _really sweet_, and of course, the best of all--_perfect for you!_ But I knew her better than anyone. I knew how she put up the mirage to portray a perfect person to the public. I even fell for it, for quite a while. The last six months or so had shown me that she was much more concerned with her image and popularity than she let on. No, she wasn't a bitch, but she did put up a front. Lately, I was really beginning to question if this was how I wanted to spend the rest of my life. The answer was a resounding 'no'.

I pulled up to Kate's house, parked, and went up to the door. We were long past all formalities, so I just went straight in.

"Hello? Anyone home? Kate?" My voice echoed around the front hall.

"I'm upstairs! Almost finished getting ready!" Her reply came faintly down the stairs. I headed up there to find her, taking the steps two at a time. Her bedroom was the second on the right, and I walked in to find her standing in her bathroom curling a few last chunks of hair.

"Hey baby. I told Bree and Victoria and those guys to come to the party tonight, okay?" _Sure, whatever.  
_

"I told them not to tell anybody." _I can only hope. The last party I threw got out of control due to 'those guys'._

"God, I love it when your parents are out of town," she was looking in the mirror while saying this, checking her make-up for the thirty millionth time, "I fantasize that I'm your wife, and we're like the richest, most popular people in town." _Hair check_. "I owe all my great weekends to you."

I was looking out her window while she was blabbering, kind of half-listening. She must have noticed my lack of attention, because I felt my collar being yanked away from my neck all of a sudden.

"What's your problem? You've been acting funny lately." _Funny 'haha', or funny weird?_

"Nothing. I am not."

"Yes you are. Why are you being so distant? Wait a...are you cheating on me?" This got my attention. My head whipped around faster than Linda Blair's in The Exorcist.

"What? Are you crazy?" _I've never even entertained the thought. Okay, well fine, I've never acted upon it._

"I don't know Edward, I'm getting strange signals."

"Well, they aren't coming from me. Let's go." _Jesus Paranoia Christ._

"Okay, fine. But remember one thing: there are plenty of guys that would kill to love me."

"Is that a threat?" _This is exactly fucking why I just may be looking elsewhere, sweetheart._

"Its a fact, Edward. Ugh, come on." She turned to walk out of her room, and I followed like the lapdog I apparently was. _Fuck it, I'm going to have a good time tonight._

_

* * *

  
_

_Alcohol_-Barenaked Ladies

_Alcohol, my permanent accessory  
Alcohol, a party-time necessity  
Alcohol, alternative to feeling like yourself  
Oh alcohol, I still drink to your health_

_I love you more than I did the week before  
I discovered alcohol_

_Oh alcohol, would you please forgive me?  
For while I cannot love myself  
I'll use something else_

As we entered my house, I got yanked down into a headlock. Staring at the size fourteens on the floor, I knew it was Emmett immediately. I elbowed him in the gut, causing him to release my neck and double over with an _oomph!_

I smirked at him and said, "Hey fucker." He stood up, grinning. He reached over to mess up my hair, and I grabbed his wrist and taunted, "Nuh uh, dickface. Not the hair." _It was artfully messed up, and I didn't want to have to go fix it. It took a lot of time to tame that shit.  
_

Apparently, Kate was bored. "Hi, Emmett. Well, while it's loads of fun watching this cockfight, I'm going to go find the girls." She strutted off into the fray.

Kate never was all that fond of Emmett, mainly because he didn't really fit the "criteria of our social status", as she had explained to me one day. She didn't mean it maliciously, it was just how she was raised. _Told you she was superficial_. Emmett's family wasn't well-off, not even close, but I didn't care. He was one of the best friends a guy could ask for.

Suddenly, a messy blond head of hair came into my view, and it straightened up until I nearly had to look up into the face of the person it was attached to. "Hey Jasper, what's up man?" Jasper was Emmett's little brother, a year younger than us. Jasper had the kind of cool edge to him that drew people to him. He had the whole laid-back, _I don't give a shit what you think_ vibe going on, and he actually _didn't_ give a shit. Emmett was the same way. Must be in the genes.

Jasper smiled at me, and gave me a "man hug"--_you know, the one where you shake hands, then come in for a single-handed back pat? Yeah, that._

He looked around and commented, "Quite the gathering, Cullen. Any hot new pieces of tail here? Emmett is running out of options." He said the last part slyly, looking at his brother from the corner of his eye.

"Don't you worry, lil' bro. I'll sniff 'em out and move in before you can even think about where to look." Emmett winked, and then laughed as only a large man can. Loudly.

Jasper smiled again, and turned to look into the dining area, where the bar had been set up. He saw the Statue of Liberty, and threw his head back, chuckling. "Where the hell did _that_ come from, man?"

"What?" I saw where he was looking, "Oh, that. My cousin Alice loves to go balls-out when she plans parties. Something about 'its all in the presentation' or some shit like that. Come to think of it, you guys haven't met her yet...let me see if I can find her." I looked around for a second, only to feel a palm slapped against my chest.

"Hold the phone." I turned to see Jasper hypnotized by something--or rather, _someone_. "Who is _that_?" I followed his gaze and stifled a laugh. Of course he found her. _Why not?_

"Well, Jazz, that would be Alice, my cousin."

"I am gonna marry that girl. You can hold me to that." _Hey-o, what?_ Emmett let out a guffaw, eyes wide.

I arched an eyebrow at him, disbelievingly, "Is that a fact? You haven't even met her."

"Doesn't matter, man, I just know I am. I need to meet her. No, I need to make an entrance, I think. I have to blow her mind. I have an idea." He told us what he wanted to do, and he turned to leave the room, Emmett trailing after him. I had my part to play, so I made my way across the house to the far end of the dining room.

Along the way, I walked past Bella. She had her back turned to me, looking at pictures on the wall. I stopped for a second and stood there, waiting for her to turn around. It didn't take long, and she nearly ran smack into me because she wasn't paying attention. She caught herself at the last second though, and looked at me, flushing red with embarrassment. I smiled expectantly at her, waiting for her to say something. Her mouth opened and closed a couple times, like she might speak, but then she slowly turned to the left and took off.

_What. The. Fuck?  
_

I blew out an exasperated huff and continued on my way.

* * *

**BPOV**

_I am such an idiot. Edward smiles at me, and I run away. He's going to think I'm mental. Hell, _I'm_ starting to think I'm mental._

I made my way back to Alice, who was sitting at the bar that had been set up in the dining room.

"So, Ali, the party seems to be a success. Is this something you are practiced in?" I teased her, nudging her gently with my shoulder. I knew she loved to do these kind of things. It was one of the topics she lit into when we were hanging out the past couple weeks. _It took hours of my life away that I will now never get back_. However, it beat the alternative--running into Edward somewhere in the house. I was amazed I'd pulled off avoiding him as long as I had so far!

"Oh, yes! I'm so glad everything came together, though I never really doubted it of course. It's a good thing we took that trip to Seattle last weekend!! I would have never found half the supplies I did if we just went to Port Angeles. Can you imagine? What would the party be like without Lady--," a tap on her shoulder made her stop talking--_finally_--, and I saw a tall boy with shaggy blond hair standing behind her.I recognized him as one of Edward's friends, though I didn't know his name.

She turned around and he said, "Excuse me, Miss?"

She glanced at me briefly, eyebrows raised in question, and looked back at him skeptically. Before she could answer, a very large guy with shorter, curly brown hair came up on the side of him and pushed him back a little with his left hand, saying, "Hey, hey! Don't worry, I'll take care of this guy." He was another of Edward's friends; kind of hard to miss him. He moved like he was going to take Blondie outside. _What in the hell are these two up to?_

I looked at Alice, and she did the whole '_who the hell are these guys and what do they want'_ thing with her eyes that only girls know how to do.

We both turned back to watch the strange boys walk away, and instead were surprised when the big guy ducked down and Blondie popped back up. He swung his arm around to point right at Alice, and started singing, "_You never close your eyes, anymore, when I kiss your lips_."

All of a sudden the familiar strains of the Righteous Brothers started up from the baby grand in the corner. I turned to see Edward sitting there, grinning like the Cheshire Cat. _Apparently he was in on the show._

Curly joined in, "_There's no tenderness like before in your fi-in-ger-ti-ips_."

Blondie started snapping his fingers in time with the piano, and they started swaying together. Someone gave him a beer bottle, and he used it like a microphone, "_You're trying hard not to show it_,"--all of a sudden, the rest of the room joined in, startling us--"_Baaaabyyyyy_". Blondie sang into the bottleneck again, "_But baby, believe me, I know it!_"

Both Blondie and Curly belted out, "_You've lost that lovin' feelin', whoa-oa that lov-in' fee-elin'_. _You've lost that loooovin' feelin', 'cuz it's gone, gone, gone, whoa-oa-oa-oa-oa." _By this time, I was giggling, and Alice seemed to be in some sort of awe. _Or maybe shock_.

Everyone started snapping and clapping along, chanting _'bum, ba-dun, ba-dun, badun dun dun'_, clearly enjoying the show.

Alice smiled at Blondie like he was the oasis mirage that her desert-wandering self had come across, and said, "Hi, I'm Alice. Have a seat." Blondie smiled back and replied, "Hi Alice, I'm Jasper. I'm going to marry you one day." I noticed that Curly had retreated back over to the piano.

Alice didn't even flinch, "Is that right? Well, Jasper, you have to catch me first." _Somebody call Guinness,_ _I think that is a new record for least amount of words to come out of Alice's mouth in one breath.  
_

I heard another kid I just met, Tyler, in the background singing, "_Baby baby, I get down on my knees for youuuu_," as I shook my head and turned back to the bar to retrieve my drink. _The old Top Gun serenade claims another one..._

_

* * *

  
_

**References**:

Oh noez: online/IM/Twitter term, meaning "oh no". Much more dramatic.

Squee: another online term, meaning "squeal" or something equally as indicative of being excited.

John Hughes: awesome director/producer/writer responsible for much of the movies of the Brat Pack in the 80s, among many others. It was a sad day when he died last week. And yes, Breaking News did tweet about his death. Jake Ryan-from Sixteen Candles. John Bender-from The Breakfast Club. Ferris Bueller-from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Ducky-from Pretty in Pink.

Ally Sheedy sandwich: her character in Breakfast Club makes a sandwich out of Pixy Stix, Cap'n Crunch, and bread. Tasty.

Molly and Emilio: Molly Ringwald and Emilio Estevez, two members of the Brat Pack (group of young actors that were in multiple movies together in the 80s)

Red Bull: energy drink. Their motto is "it gives you wings". I hate the taste of it. Blech.

Linda Blair/the Exorcist: movie where her character was possessed by the Devil, and her head spun around and she spewed pea soup-like vomit all over the priests during their attempt at exorcism. Thank goodness Edward didn't do that.

Righteous Brothers: Lovely duo that brought us such hits as Unchained Melody and the song featured in this chapter, You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin'. See my profile for the YouTube link to the Top Gun scene I borrowed.

Cheshire Cat: cat from Alice in Wonderland. Always had a big grin, and his teeth somehow stayed in view though he disappeared. Odd.

Guinness: Guinness Book of World Records. I used to love reading it to see what stupid things people would do to get in there.

Thank you to Red for the term 'blinding fuckawesomeness'. You rule.

Also, I have a thread on Twilighted now! Go to www(DOT)twilighted(DOT)net/forum/viewtopic(DOT)php?f=44&t=5672&st=0&sk=t&sd=a. Or go to my profile.

Reviews are better than being serenaded by Navy officers.


	4. Flashbacks, Broken Rules, Disappointment

**Disclaimer: Twilight is not mine. See my notes at the end**.

Flashbacks, Broken Rules, and Disappointment

BPOV

I woke up the morning after the party with a killer hangover and a serious case of assmouth. Really shouldn't have surprised me though, considering how the rest of the night went. _Of course, I had good reason to start drinking heavily..._I buried my face in my hands as a I recalled the later events of the night. Cue the Wayne's World dream sequence, complete with finger waving--_doodly doo, doodly doo, doodly doo_.

*****

After Jasper's declaration of intended marriage to Alice, I got up to explore more. Though I had been over to the house multiple times in the past few weeks, I spent nearly all my time in Alice's room. I was trying--_and succeeding,__really_--to avoid Edward. So because of that, I hadn't really seen all the assorted details of the house. I knew the layout, knew about the pool in back, etc, but nothing that would help me learn more about Edward. _Um, I mean, the Cullens. Yeah, that's it._

I took a quick peek around to check on Edward's location so that I could avoid him. He was still huddled over by the piano with Curly. I turned to go the opposite direction. _Yes, I'm a chicken-shit. Well aware of this fact._

I entered the foyer, where I noticed most of one wall was covered in framed pictures. My curiosity piqued, I walked over to the wall to investigate. I was standing there with hands clasped behind my back, kind of rocking back on my heels a bit, eyes traveling over each image, when I heard footsteps approach behind me. I assumed it was just a party-goer, so I didn't bother to turn around.

"Bella!" _Shit. _I'd recognize that voice anywhere.

_  
_I stood still for a second, contemplating what to do.

Do I turn around and face him? _Only if you decide to prove you aren't actually mute. _

Do I pretend I don't hear him? _Oh yes, add 'deaf' to the list of things that Edward can relate to you. 'Mute' is already on there_. _Are we going for the Helen Keller trifecta?_

What about running? _Again?_ _Go ahead. While you are at it, may as well try out for the track team, since you are improving your forty yard dash time_.

I really wished I could stop talking to myself.

Face him it was.

Taking a deep breath, I slowly turned on the ball of my foot. I saw him standing with Curly, an expectant smile on his face.

"Hey Bella! What's up?" _Oh the smile, Lord help me!_

I tried to speak, but a squeak came out. I cringed a bit, cleared my throat and tried again, "Oh, hi Edward. I was just looking at the pictures." _Ok, that wasn't so bad. I could do this. _I began mentally prepping myself, imagining Mick was there in my corner giving me a pep talk, and my fantasy-self jumped up and down a few times, shaking out my hands and rolling my head on my neck once or twice. _Hey, it worked for Rocky!_

"Oh, so you _do_ speak? I was beginning to wonder..." Edward said this with a wry smirk on his mouth. _Dick._ I loved every second of it.

"Ummm, yeah...shit. I...spook...easily?" _That, and you turn into a complete moron when he's around._ Shut up. Stupid subconscious.

"Oh man, some of those are embarrassing! I don't know why Mom doesn't replace them with newer ones." He glanced up at a few of them, smiling and shaking his head. "Oh, have you met my friend, Emmett McCarty? His little brother is Alice's future husband, apparently." With this, he winked at me. _Jesusfuckingchrist. _I stealthily snuck my hand behind me to steady myself against the entryway table, lest my knees give out from the force of his winkaliciousness. _Yes, it's a word. Well, in the Bellictionary anyway. _

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Emmett." I stuck my hand out, and it was immediately engulfed in one of his big mitts.

"Likewise, Bella." He had the deepest dimples when he smiled. How cute. _I still prefer Edward's smirks_. _So much more condescending,__therefore__hot._

"Um, I'm just going to...," I punctuated my weak point by motioning into the dining room with my index fingers, "...yeah. Bye." _Well, your extensive vocabulary is sure to impress him_. I shook my head, chastising myself as I started to walk away.

I didn't get far before I felt a warm hand grasp my wrist, and--

_'CAUSE EVERY TIME WE TOUCH, I GET THIS FEELING_

--I quickly pulled my arm back, startled by the loud music. I cocked an eyebrow in Edward's direction, where he looked just as startled by my reaction.

"Geez, why did they just raise the volume on the music so much?" I asked the boys standing before me, my brow scrunching together.

"What music, Bella? They are playing the same song that was on a few seconds ago, and the volume is the same." Edward was looking at me like I was speaking a foreign language.

Well that was puzzling. Was I losing my mind? I needed to test it out. I went to laugh like I was joking, and I reached up to brush Edward's arm--

_CAN'T YOU FEEL MY HEART BEAT FAST, I WANT THIS TO LAST_

--Ok, I was insane. Only logical explanation.

Just to be sure, I reached for Emmett.

"So, Emmett, tell me about your brother. Is he as nuts as he just looked?" I made sure to contact his arm firmly.

Nothing. No music. No sounds. What the hell was going on here?

I wasn't really listening to Emmett's response, as I was still a bit baffled by the turn of illogical events.

It couldn't hurt to test it one more time, right? _Were __you just looking for a reason to touch Edward again?_ No. _Yes._

"Hey, Edward, gimme five!" I reached my hand up, surely looking like the poster child for ADD since I had completely dropped the subject that I had personally brought up. He stared at me for a second, pure confusion streaking across his face. _You do know you are just giving him reason after reason to avoid you, right?_ Pipe down, I am doing an experiment.

"Uh, okay." He finally reached up, slapping his hand to mine. The touch was long enough--

_NEED YOU BY MY SIDE_

--holy shit. I needed to go, immediately. Right fucking then. I needed a drink. Oh my god, I needed a strong drink.

"Right. Okay. Again, I am just going to..." I quickly made my way out of the front hall, no doubt leaving two very confused boys in my wake. I headed straight for the bar.

"Bartender, make me the strongest drink you possibly can." I was going to need to drink heavily if I was going to make it through the night.

*****

So there I lay, my pounding head and expanded throat reminding me of every second of my bizarre night. I still could not figure out what had actually happened. Each time I touched Edward, Cascada's _Every Time We Touch_ would blare through my head. _I told you nothing good would come of you meeting him! _Um, it really wasn't my idea. I didn't go out one day and decide to get sunburned, go to the store, meet a psychotic munchkin that happened to be related to and living with my own personal Jake Ryan, and then go to said munchkin's party where I began to have a soundtrack to my life _because he touched me!!!_

I groaned and went to maneuver myself out of bed. My hands and feet felt like sandbags. _I now know why I've never had the inclination to drink before_.

I trudged into the bathroom and started the shower. Stepping in, I just felt like sitting down. So, I did. I let the hot spray pummel me until my back was numb. _Numb is good; numb feels no pain_.

After my shower was finally done (and by 'done', I mean the water ran cold), I schlepped my ass down the stairs. Sitting at the kitchen table, I groaned and plopped my head on top of my folded arms.

"Well, well, well, Bells. Regretting some poor choices last night?" Oh, Charlie. If you only knew. _Wait, maybe he does..._

"I haven't the slightest idea of what you are speaking, Father." He laughed at me, and turned back to the counter, doing God knows what. _I just ask that it is edible, and not Toast du Charlie. _

I could hear him humming something, occasionally letting a few words slip out, "hmm hm hmmm..._Laundry day_..._tumbling_...bah bah bah..._love your hair_..."

I picked my head up, wondering what the hell he was singing to. "Dad, for the love of Christ, please tell me what you are singing over there."

He turned his torso around, feet still planted at the counter, "Dr. Horrible, Bells, I think it's called _My Breeze Tray_? I'm not sure, but it's pretty funny stuff. Sue had me watching it the last time I was over there."

I just stared at him for a minute, not quite comprehending what he said. _My Breeze Tray?_ Oh, what the good people of Forks might do if they learned their Chief of Police was singing songs about freeze rays. "I think you mean My_ Freeze_ _Ray_, Dad. And you are weird." He laughed at me, again. _Stop. Stop the loud noises._

He must have finished what he was doing, because he walked away still laughing. "Ok, Bella, I'm going to go out to the Rez. Call over to Billy's if you need anything, okay?" _Damn, no food for me unless I get my hungover ass up and do it myself._

I mumbled my assent, and went back to, um, _resting_.

The shrill sound of _The Lollipop Guild_ echoed across the room. _Alice._ I reached blindly for my phone, stumbling upon it across the table. Without lifting my head, I answered, "What?"

"_Well, that isn't any way to greet the person that is going to cure your hangover! How are you this morning? You seemed to be hitting the sauce last night! Wouldn't have anything to do with my dear cousin, would it? He asked me the strangest--"_ Click. Could not deal with that first thing in the morning.

Not even fifteen seconds later, my phone buzzed again, this time with, _Ding Dong, the Witch is Dead_, warbling out. _You can't say I don't have a sense of humor_. I read the text:

_Bella! Y did u hng up on me? U r such a crnk__y__pnts n the mrng. -A_

I wondered why I hadn't bought that netspeak guide yet. I took the time to spell out my response:

_Well, Alice, my head doesn't accept decibel levels that high currently. Please try again later. -B  
_

_O geez B, u nd 2 get ovr urself. Come ovr. We cn swm. Yull feel bttr, swr. -A_

Pat, can I buy a vowel?

_Ok, fine. But promise you will resuscitate me if I fall asleep in the pool. -B_

_Get ovr hre, drmaqun. -A_

Ha, she calls _me_ the drama queen? _As if_. I stood up with another sigh, dramatically tossed my hair over my shoulder, and gathered my things to take with me to the Cullen house.

*****

When I reached the house, I just went directly inside. I knew Alice wouldn't hear me knock, and I didn't want to ring the doorbell in case Edward was home. _I most definitely did _not_ want to see him after last night_. I needed more time to figure out how I was going to deal with being around him more often, as it seemed imminent. Was he going to talk to me now? Would he want to hang out? _I am _so_ not ready for that. _Okay, best course of action is to just roll with the punches. Don't try too hard, but don't actively avoid. He was nice at the party last night. _That could have just been the alcohol talking. _Yeah, I know. I guess we'll find out, huh?

I went directly out to the pool, where I found Alice already lounging on a chaise. Of course, she was perfect in her teeny, weeny, white bikini. Me? I've got a tankini. No real curves to speak of, let alone show off.

"Hey, Ali. What's up?" She looked at me over the top of her Gucci sunglasses, tearing her eyes away from her Palm Pre. _Gotta love a girl that mixes budget and designer attire. She'll wear a Target t-shirt with a Fendi purse.  
_

_BEVERLY HILLS, THAT'S WHERE I WANT TO BE.  
_

_LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME, LIVING IN BEVERLY HILLS_

Oh goody, the soundtrack was back. _The joy that __wa__s my life.  
_

"Well, finally, Bella. I was beginning to wonder if I needed to come and get you myself. The way you left the party last night had me a bit concerned as to how you were going to get home! I'm glad Edward offered to drive you, geez. I thought he had more to drink than he--" _Um, back up there Chatty Cathy._ I had to cut her off.

"Wait, Alice. What did you say? _Edward_ drove me home?? How...I don't even..._what????_" I didn't remember any of that! _Well, did you think that _you_ drove home, missy? _No, but I didn't recall what happened, at all, after one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

"Yes, Bel-la. Edward drove you home. Don't you remember getting into the car while protesting? I went with, of course, since you barely know him, and since Jasper had already gone home with Emmett. You pretty much just slept the entire way there. We helped you up to the door, and I helped you to your room. You aren't a loud drunk, thank goodness, or Charlie would have woken up, but boy were you blasted!" _Well__,__ at least it __didn't__ sound like I did anything _too_ embarrassing. _

"Well, thanks, I guess. Man, how embarrassing."

"Actually, what was more embarrassing was how you acted earlier in the evening, when you didn't even have the excuse of being schnockered. Edward was asking me if you had any strange personality quirks, or if you were "off", so to speak. He told me about your encounter in the foyer. What in the world got into you? I assured him that you were not, in fact, some very strange girl that he should run away from." _Damn, I knew he would think I was a freak._

"Um, I was distracted. A lot of people. Loud music. It was nothing." She was looking at me knowingly, like _how dare you try to lie to me_?

She let out a very un-ladylike snort, "Right! And I'm the Queen of England. You know you are going to tell me what is going on eventually, right? I am going to get it out of you."

"Is that a threat, fair Alice?"

"That, my love, is a promise." _Dammit, I know. I __couldn't__ keep __it__ inside forever._ Just give me some time.

*****

After my rough encounter with the drink, I vowed never to touch it again. _Well, at least for the rest of the summer. _

The summer was flying by, and school was fast approaching. Also approaching? My mother's wedding. She was engaged to a minor-league baseball player, Phil Dwyer. The date she picked happened to fall the day before my birthday, so I figured we would just celebrate it at the reception. I had to fly down to Phoenix for the wedding itself. My flight was late Friday night, after school was out, and then I would fly home immediately after the reception Saturday afternoon. Renee and Phil were leaving for Jacksonville the next morning because Phil had some baseball thing to go to.

I went over to Alice's a few more times before school started, and she came over to my house too, but she was far more preoccupied with the Future Husband himself, Jasper, than with entertaining me. I didn't see Edward often over there, but when I did, he was unfailingly sweet. He would hold doors open for us, ask if we wanted drinks when he went to get one for himself, etcetera, etcetera. _I'm chalking it up to good manners from being raised by Martha Stewart-incarnate, Esme Cullen._ However, this did not bode well for my gameplan of keeping Edward at a distance. _Why did he have to be so effing nice??_

The worst part was that my new-found life soundtrack wouldn't cease. Each time I touched Edward, no matter how briefly or accidental, _Every Time We Touch_ would echo through my head. It was no longer as loud as the first time, but it was there.

So far, Rule Number One, _don't discover that he's a good guy on top of being extremely hot,_ had been shattered.

How long before Rule Number Two and Rule Number Three were demolished?

_THE COUNTDOWN STARTS__...4, 3, 2, 1, EARTH BELOW US, DRIFTING, FALLING, FLOATING WEIGHTLESS, CALLING HOME..._

Oh hell, the soundtrack had made another appearance.

*****

School started with a bang. Literally. My truck backfired in the parking lot the first day, giving a fantastic first impression of me to my new cellmates. _I mean, _school_mates._

I had all the standard third year classes; US History, Biology, English, etcetera. I was thankful that Edward was a year ahead of me, because that meant the chances of us having a class together were slim to none. _Yay for school age cut-off dates_. However, I was in a couple AP classes, so I suppose those chances went up marginally, if he happened to have above average intelligence. _Well, duh. Doesn't that usually get lumped in with other 'perfect' characterizations?_ Oh, we had jumped to the 'perfect' mantra now, have we? _I have. You are holding out._

I made it through morning classes without a hitch and wove my way to the lunchroom. The second I stepped foot in the cafeteria, my eyes were immediately drawn to a flashing black and blue object in the back corner. _Alice. _She was jumping up and down, trying to get my attention. Her shirt was an electric blue color, and she had paired it with skinny jeans that I probably could not have even fit one leg into. _She gave new meaning to the term 'painted-on'. _

I held up my finger in a 'one minute' gesture, and stepped into the lunch line. Hm, decisions, decisions. Blob of orange that I am assuming is mac and cheese, or slab of cardboard covered in grease? _Pizza it is_. I paid for my food and stopped by the vending machine for my side dish and beverage. _Nutty Bars and Orange Crush, yum_.

Now that all the food groups were covered, I meandered over to the table that Alice, Jasper, and Emmett were seated at. Seeing Emmett made me wonder where Edward was, but I didn't voice my query. _If 'Where's Edward?' was the first thing out of my mouth, I'd have some 'splaining to do._

I sat down in the empty seat next to Emmett, dropping my backpack on the floor. Everyone greeted me with the standard "Hi!". _Well, Alice probably elaborated, but I've learned to ignore half of what comes from her mouth._ After thoroughly mopping up the grease from my pizza with a napkin--_not that I care about the calories, I just would rather not choke_--I took a big bite.

Emmett turned to me and said, "Hm, it's refreshing to see a girl eat real food! Pizza, chocolate with peanut butter, and pop, no less!"

I finished chewing, swallowed, took a big swig of my Crush, and replied, "Well, Emmett, I figure I may as well take advantage of my fantastic metabolism now, before I get old and am on a permanent diet." I winked at him for good measure.

He laughed and clapped me on the back, "Ha! Now there are some words of wisdom!"

I just smiled and continued eating.

The hour passed quickly between Alice's chatter and Emmett's sex jokes (example: Did you hear about the leper and the prostitute? He said "Keep the tip."). _Funny guy, that Emmett_. I said my goodbyes and walked toward the Biology classroom. It was one of my AP classes. I picked a lab table close to the window so that I had something to watch when I inevitably got bored. Everyone else filed in right before the warning bell, filling up the tables quickly. I was still sitting alone, which was actually fine with me because it meant I didn't have to make idle chit-chat with anyone about how I liked Forks. _If I hear one more joke about the rain__…__ I'll cut a bitch._

Just as the last bell began to ring, the door flew open, and… _dun dun duuuuun__…_ guess who walked in? If you said a certain dark-haired senior with green eyes, you have won the day's prize. _Sorry, all I __had__was__ half a Nutty Bar left over from lunch_.

Edward's eyes scanned the room quickly, going past me, then quickly returning. He smiled, and I glanced behind me to see who he was smiling at. _Oh, right, window._ I turned around to see him making his way to my table. _Was he going to sit __by me__?? No no no no, __that could __not happen!_

"Hey, Bella," he greeted me with a warm smile, and sat down. _Shut the hell up. How __was__ I going to make it through an entire school year with him as a lab partner??_

"Heeeey there, Edward." _Quick, think of something witty, THINK OF SOMETHING WITTY!_ "So, come here often?" _Mental forehead slap. Fail. Complete and utter FAIL.  
_

He laughed a bit and said, "Um, not yet." He was still laughing at me. _Fantastic._

I cringed and replied, "You know what? I'm just going to shut up now." I shook my head and rested my chin on my folded hands. _Idiot, idiot, idiot._

Edward started to say something, but Mr. Banner cleared his throat and glared at him. _Thank God._

As soon as class was over, I bolted. Edward was busy putting things back in his bag anyway, so I doubt he noticed. I had one more class to get through, then I could go home and wallow in my self-pity. _My favorite past-time, lately. _

It was going to be a long school year.

*****

The next few weeks passed in a blur; I went to school and hung out with Alice, all while artfully avoiding speaking to Edward too often. Yes, we were lab partners, so I had to be quite creative, but I had managed to keep the discussions biology-related. _And avoided embarrassing myself. __But not by m__uch._

My mother's wedding and my birthday snuck up on me, and I was a little surprised when it was already there. I heard the final bell for school ring, and kind of stood at my locker while everyone around me poured out the doors. I felt like I was moving in slow-motion.

As soon as I got home, I packed an overnight bag, put my dress in a garment bag that I found in Charlie's closet--_probably from when Renee still lived __t__here--_, and went downstairs to finish getting ready to go. Charlie was driving me to the airport in Port Angeles, and from there I would fly into Seattle, before flying down to Phoenix.

"So, Bells, you ready for this?" He looked at me warily. I was never sure how he felt about Renee getting remarried, especially to someone so young, but I suppose it wasn't something you asked about.

"Yeah, I guess so." _As ready as I ever __would__ be_.

"Now, you have a ride home tomorrow night? I'm working, otherwise I'd pick you up."

"Yeah, I'll just ask Alice. She can probably pick me up." _If she __could__ tear herself away from Jasper's lips long enough to do so._

"Okay, well, let's go then. Don't want you to miss your flight." He pulled me into a rough hug, and then grabbed my bags, moving outside to his cruiser. He carefully put them into the backseat, then opened the passenger door for me. I slid in, and we were on our way.

*****

_Mother, Mother_-Tracey Bonham

_Mother, mother, are you listening? Just a phone call to ease your mind.  
Life is perfect, never better, distance making the heart grow blind_

_When you sent me off to see the world, were you scared that I might get hurt?  
Would I try a little tobacco, would I keep on hiking up my skirt_?

When I arrived at Phoenix's Sky Harbor International airport, Renee picked me up in her Volkswagen bus. _Yes, you heard me. At least it didn't have flower decals all over the outside_.

"Hey baby! How have you been? I've missed you!" She said most of this into my hair while she was squeezing the life out me. I hugged her back, though not with as much gusto.

"I've been good, Mom. Forks isn't too bad." _There was no need to tell her what I really thought._

"Well, good. I was a bit worried when you left. But it sounds like you are acclimating well!" _Oh, yes, I__ was__ doing just great. I __had__ an over-active Fraggle as a best friend, I __couldn't__ function when a boy I __liked__--_ahem, appreciated--_smile__d__ at me, and my father__ sang__ random songs that people__ his__ age just shouldn't know. Couldn't be better._

Renee launched into wedding details, filling me in on everything from the pattern on the silverware at the hall they rented, to the extreme difficulties she'd had finding a unity candle that exactly matched the pattern on her dress. _Oh my God, kill me now._ I think I zoned out after the diatribe on how they only offered 2 butlered appetizers instead of the 3 that she wanted.

We reached the house, and I quickly excused myself to go to bed, as we had to get up early the next morning. Thankfully, Renee had the same idea, or we would still have been talking by the time we were supposed to be at the salon.

My mother was apparently making up for the wedding she didn't really have with Charlie. It was kind of a shot-gun affair at the local courthouse. This time, she was going all out. I didn't even know that she _had_ 150 friends to fill up the ballroom they had decorated.

The ceremony was beautiful, tears were shed, kisses were shared. _Whoop-de-doo. _All night, every time she would get the room's attention to express their thanks, I expected her to make the announcement of my birthday being the next day. Each time, I was let down. Even during the cake cutting, I hoped to see her bring out a separate little cake for me, but there was nothing. She announced Phil's parents' anniversary that was the next freaking _month_, but neglected to remember it was my birthday the next day.

I faked a happy face, and kept up the show for all the guests. No need to involve them in something that had nothing to do with them. I must have even fooled Renee, because she never once picked up on my distress. _Good thing she never attempted a career as a private investigator_.

The evening was coming to a close, and my flight time was coming up quickly. I went to drag Renee away from whatever guest she was laughing with, reminding her I needed to go very soon.

"Oh gosh, baby, I didn't even realize the time! Okay, let's go. Let me just go tell Phil we are leaving. He can keep everyone occupied until I get back."

Wow. She really and truly forgot. Well, maybe on the ride to the airport she would surprise me. _Not freaking likely._

___________________________________________________________________________

**References****:**

**Wayne's World/doodly doo**: from the movie, when they do dream sequences, they wiggle their fingers up and down and use that phrase.

**Helen Keller:** deaf, blind, and mute woman (in a nutshell)

**Mick/Rocky**: Mickey/Mick was Rocky Balboa's trainer in Rockys 1, 2, 3, and 4. Maybe 5 too, I can't remember.

**ADD:** Attention Deficit Disorder. No malicious intent with this reference, it just fit.

**Munchkin**: From Wizard of Oz, the small in stature inhabitant of Munchkinland, where Dorothy lands her house on the Wicked Witch of the West (or as I like to refer to her: 3 Dubs)

**My Freeze Ray**: Song from Dr. Horrible's Singalong-Blog (link on profile)

**The Lollipop Guild**: Again from Wizard of Oz; the Munchkins that welcome Dorothy to Munchkinland. See profile for song.

**Ding Dong the Witch is Dead**: I apparently really like Wizard of Oz. Song that the Munchkins sing to celebrate 3 Dub's passing. See profile again.

**Pat, can I buy a vowel?:** Wheel of Fortune host, Pat Sajak.

**Palm Pre:** awesome new phone that I want really, really badly. It is the secret to the organization I crave.

**AP class:** Advanced Placement. Fancy way of saying 'honors' classes.

**Nutty Bar**: Delicious peanut butter, wafer, and chocolate combo. Come 2 sticks per pack. I had these and Orange Crush nearly every day of my high school career. Tas-tee.

'**Splaining**: I Love Lucy's Desi Arnaz trying to say 'explaining'. Lucy, 'splain.

**Fraggle**: Creature on Fraggle Rock, a TV show from the old days of HBO. Link on profile.

Wow that was a lot.

**Mental Soundtrack songs, in order**** (links on profile)**:

_Every Time We Touch_, by Cascada

_Beverly Hills_, by Weezer

_Major Tom_, by Peter Schilling

Credit for Emmett's joke goes to bjr70 on Twitter

**Last thing, I promise. Thank you to Tosh and Red, who pre-read and betaed this for me. I've been asked for recs; here you go: Bad Habit by AmryMarie; Dead Confederates by Goldenmeadow, Finding Home by jennde, The Fates by hmonster4 and profmom72, and how about Conceited Control by beautiful_distraction (on Twi, RPF). **

**I have 100 alerts and 65 faves, which is awesome. You know what is awesomer? Leaving a review. Come join us on the Twi threads.  
**


	5. In Times Like These Eat Frosted Delights

**Disclaimer**: Twilight is not mine. _Times Like These_ is not mine.

I have had this chapter written from the very start--it's my baby!! I think many of you have been waiting for this one…enjoy!

* * *

_Times Like These_ by The Foo Fighters (acoustic)

_I am a one way motorway  
I'm the one that drives away  
Then follows you back home  
I am a street light shining  
I'm a wild light blinding bright  
Burning off alone_

_It's times like these you learn to live again  
It's times like these you give and give again  
It's times like these you learn to love again  
It's times like these time and time again_

_I am a new day rising  
I'm a brand new sky  
To hang the stars upon tonight  
I am a little divided  
Do I stay or run away  
And leave it all behind?_

_It's times like these you learn to live again  
It's times like these you give and give again  
It's times like these you learn to love again  
It's times like these time and time again_

********

BPOV

As I was being driven to the airport for my flight home, I blankly stared out the passenger window at the desert-browns and reds flying by. I couldn't believe it. Not a word from Renee all day long about my birthday tomorrow. No cake. No singing. Nothing. _Was this for real?_ Was I living in some alternate reality where everybody fucks over Bella? I debated saying something, and finally ruled against it. I didn't want to ruin her wedding night by throwing a temper tantrum, and I certainly didn't want to hear her actually admit that she had forgotten about me. There was the faintest glimmer of recognition in her eyes when she dropped me off at the departures awning, asking, "Are you okay sweetheart?"

"Yes, Mom, I'm fine." That was my brilliant response. "Just tired."

I tried to manage a reassuring smile. _I'm guessing that it looked more like I was constipated._

"Okay then, have a good flight. I'll call you soon to check in!" She was already checking the flow of traffic, waiting for an open space to slide into.

_Right, okay, fuck you very much too, Renee._ I had still been holding out for a last minute, 'Oh my gosh, I totally forgot your birthday! I am so sorry honey!' _Glad I didn't hold my breath_. Back to Forks I go.

*****

Upon arriving at Fairchild International airport in Port Angeles, I realized that I failed to ever secure a ride home. Charlie was working an overnight shift, and I had told him I would get a ride with Alice, but I never asked her. _Great job, me_. I tried calling Alice, but she didn't answer. Then I remembered that she was out with Jasper tonight. That would mean that her phone was probably off, shoved deep in her designer-bag-of-the-minute to ensure complete, non-interruption. I gave calling her house a shot anyway, clinging to hope that they were just hanging out there. What I got instead was Edward answering the phone.

"Cullen residence." _Well hel-lo__,__ Sexy McSexerson. _Focus.

"Oh, hi Edward, it's Bella. Is Alice there?" _Please say yes, please say yes._

"Um, nope. She's out with the boy-toy." _Dammit_.

"Right. I knew that. Crap. Well...okay. Thanks." I started to pull the phone away from my ear to hang up, and I heard his voice again.

"Was there something you needed? 'Crap' usually is indicative of a bad thing." Should I explain my situation to him? _Probably_. Although I doubted it would make a difference in the status of my current state of ride-lessness. Might as well share, I was in the mood for being laughed at tonight; why the hell not? _Next stop, Emoville, USA; population: me._

"Well, sort of. Yeah. I'm stranded at Fairchild. I forgot to confirm with someone about getting home. It's okay; I'll just find a cab."

"Wait--Bella, you are not taking a cab home from Port Angeles. That would cost a fortune. Um, shit...hang on."

I waited for a couple minutes, hearing only shuffling noises and low murmurs from the other end of the line.

"Ok, sorry about that. I'm free. I'll come get you."

I was momentarily stunned. I looked at my cell phone to make sure I was still connected to the Cullen phone number, and hadn't accidentally transferred myself to Delusion City. _Yep, still the Cullens. Well, smack me sideways and call me Sally._

"Really? You don't mind?"

"Nah, it's no problem. It might take a while depending on traffic, so just sit tight. I'll be there in no time." I checked my watch for the time so I had an idea of how long he'd be--11:20. Right, so I'd need to find something to occupy my time for an hour or so. I had my iPod, shouldn't be a problem.

"Okay, thanks Edward. This means a lot to me."

Boy, did it ever. Though I said it just to make sure he knew I really appreciated the gesture, I had no idea how much this night would end up meaning to me.

*****

I was shocked when Edward's car pulled up only twenty-five minutes later. That trip should take at least an hour. He climbed out of the car, looking fucking fantastic.

_YOU'RE PACKED AND YOU'RE STACKED, 'SPECIALLY IN THE BACK_

_BROTHER__ WANNA THANK YOUR MOTHER FOR A BUTT LIKE THAT_

Well, at least my soundtrack has good timing. _Why me, God? Why me?_ _I was trying so hard to be a good girl here, and yet you present me with this little bait-on-hook in the form of the Prom King._ _Just stop._ _I don't know how much more I can take._ _If I must resort to begging on my knees, I will do it!! _Oh wait, that's called praying.

Edward's honey voice drew me out of my likely comatose-looking reverie. "Um, Bella? You okay?"

_No Edward, I'm not okay._ "Yes."

The look he gives me tells me he ain't buying what I'm selling. _Damn, I need to work on my lying skills or I'll never be able to unload that property in Florida._

"Right. Okay. Well then, would you like to get going?" _Such simple questions Edward, yet the answers never are. _Well, they wouldn't be if my brain worked--remember? Electromagnetic pulse? Yep, he activated it yet again. Zap.

"Sure." _Brilliant, Swan._ _You__'re__ dazzling him with your impressive vocabulary_. "Hey, how did you get here so fast? I just talked to you--," a quick check of the watch told me 11:45, "--barely thirty minutes ago." _That's better. At least you spit out more than one word at a time._

"Well, um, I kinda drive fast. I hate waiting."

We ducked into his dove-gray Porsche 997 (hey, don't hate on the Porsche. Jake Ryan drove one, and whatever Jake does is good in my book); he on the driver's side, and me in the passenger spot. As he turned the key to start the ignition, he told me to buckle up. We merged out into the traffic that was curving away from the arrivals area, and he floored the gas pedal. I was never so thankful to have had that "buckle up" warning as I was right at that moment. I quickly shot my eyes up to locate the _Oh Shit!_ handle, because I had a feeling we were going to become closely acquainted. I shut my eyes and started praying so hard that you would have thought I'd converted to Catholicism. I actually probably should have, as then I would be absolved of my sins if and when Edward killed us in a fiery crash on the highway.

The next time I opened my eyes, we were stopped already, idling in Charlie's driveway. My driveway. I pried my hand off the _Oh Shit!_ handle, whispering sweet nothings to it in thanks for keeping me safe, and turned to thank Edward again for the ride. He spoke before I had a chance to.

"So were you going to share with me what it was that put that depressed look on your face? Seriously Bella, grungy-angst is _so_ 1993." He had the cutest little smirk on his face when he said that in an Alice voice, disarming me for a moment. _Strength Bella, use the Force!_ _Funny, he is not!_ He noticed my falter and let the smirk break into a big grin. _No longer cute, buddy._

"What makes you think something is wrong?" _There ya go, play dumb; it isn't much of a stretch._

"Come on, Bella, I live with two women, and I have a girlfriend of two years; I happen to know how to interpret those 'looks'. Give me some credit here." _Dammit_. Why did he have to be so logical?

"Okay, fine, you are right. Something is wrong. But, I don't really want to bother you with it. It's nothing, I'm just over-reacting."

His face softened a bit as he looked at me, searching my eyes. He squinted a little and pursed his lips, as if he found what he wanted, and spoke again. "Bella. You can tell me, really. Pretend I'm Alice for a minute. Just talk. I am a pretty good listener, ya know." _Edward, you are so far from being Alice it's not even funny._

Well, no, I didn't know, because I'd never really given him the opportunity to exhibit that little tidbit. Listening is a good quality. A quality that would redeem him, hence the reason I'd never want to know about it. I let out an exasperated sigh, allowing the day's events to wash over me.

"Well, if you don't mind hearing about my shitastic day, here goes." I closed my eyes, trying to steel myself against whatever may happen after confiding in Edward. I wasn't sure I was ready for it. Scratch that, I _know_ I was not ready for it. But, no time like the present, right? I blew out a sharp breath and spoke quickly, hoping to not have to repeat myself. My eyes were still closed.

"My birthday is tomorrow--well, today I guess--and my mom forgot. I was at the airport because I flew home from Phoenix, where she had just gotten married to a minor-league baseball player that isn't even old enough to have babysat me when I was little. I thought at the very least she might have had a cake, or even a _cupcake_ for me at the wedding, but I was sorely mistaken. I didn't even get a birthday greeting. Now I know it was her wedding day, and she was probably just very preoccupied, and I'm being a whiny baby, so I'm just ready to go inside and crash. Thank you for listening and for the ride, goodnight." With that wordsplosion, I opened my eyes and went to reach for the door handle to let myself out. I had barely released the catch and started pushing the door open when I felt his hand on my arm. _And oh, what a nice hand it was_.

"Bella, wait." He didn't say anything more, so I turned to look at him. He looked perplexed, with his eyebrows knit together and forehead all wrinkled. _Damn. He's even pretty when confused._

"Do you really believe that?" _Huh? Obviously he thought I was crazy for expecting her to make room for me on her big day._

"Which part? About expecting her to have a cake for me?"

"No, the part where you are being a whiny baby. You truly think it is acceptable that your own mother forgot your birthday?" The look on his face told me he certainly didn't think so.

"Well, I don't know. I mean, in the context, I guess so. She was very busy with her wedding plans and making sure it all went smoothly. How could I expect to interrupt her big day?" _Was I convincing enough? _

"Um, because you are her daughter? No Bella, no it's not acceptable. I think I'd freak the fuck out if my parents forgot my birthday. Are you sure you are okay with this?"

Even though he had a point, I just shrugged and looked into my lap. I willed the tears not to form. Maybe if I wished hard enough, they would go away. I quickly looked to the side and swept my fingers across my cheek to make sure my eyes hadn't revolted and pushed the damn saltwater out. I turned back to Edward.

"I'm fine Edward. I really would like to get to sleep now, though, if you don't mind. Again, thank you so much for coming to pick me up. I hope you weren't inconvenienced in any way. Good night." I gave him as good a smile as I could muster, and quickly got out of the car. I reached the front door and realized he hadn't left yet, so I turned and briefly waved before slipping into the doorway. I turned the deadbolt and leaned with my back against the door. Edward was right, it wasn't okay. I knew this even while talking to him about it, but I just wanted to be done with it. I slid down to the ground and brought my knees up to my chest. I gave them a quick squeeze and let the tears fall.

*****

The next morning, the sun was shining bright. _See? Even Mother Nature can extend her best wishes on my birthday_. After my sobfest last night, I made myself a promise to never cry over Renee again. _We'll see how long that lasts._

I heard my cell phone ringing, so I ran to grab it before it went to voicemail, neglecting to check the ID first. I answered breathlessly, "Hello?"

"Well good morning to you too, Sunshine. Glad to hear it sounds like you're feeling better. I knew you were lying when you said you were okay. Tell me though, Bella, why is it that you are breathing so heavy, hmm?" _How in the hell does anyone ever get used to hearing that voice?__ Especially when the tone implies that he is wearing his trademark smirk??_But that aside, what was he doing calling me?

"Ha, good morning, Edward. I had to run to get the phone. Don't kid yourself." _But Lord knows you'd probably have me breathing heavy within seconds if you put your mind to it. _I really, really needed to stop thinking like that.

He laughed at me, and I realized a very important fact,"Wait, how did you get my number?"

"Oh, it was on the ID from your call to the house last night. I assumed it was your cell. Was that all right?" _Ah no, it wasn't. Now he has direct access to call you, whenever he wants. If ever he wants. Wait, why does he want?_

"Sure, I guess. So, did you just call to test out the number, or what?" He let out a nervous snicker.

"Well, the reason I called is because I need you to do me a favor. This is going to sound retarded, but I need you to bring me a gallon of milk. I'm at home but am in the middle of something and can't exactly leave the house, but I promised my mother I'd pick up milk. Is that something you could do for me?" _Baby, I would do whatever you wanted if it meant I got to continue hearing you talk. _

Dammit, dammit, dammit! What the hell was wrong with me? I used to have the strongest willpower known to man; I resisted Edward Cullen for two years! Well, resisted is a broad term...how about "dug my heels in and feebly protested against the pull of his Hoover-sucking-power hotness" for two years? Yes, I think that sums it up. My reaction to his query just showed how right I was to distance myself from him for so long. One little good deed, and the next thing you know, I'm turning into a Stepford Wife, Harlequin romance novel-style. I'm betting you know what my response was.

"Um, sure. Any requests on the type of milk? I hear there is a multitude." _Again, with the stunning conversational skills._ I heard Edward laugh on the other end. _At least I make him laugh._

"Ah, just plain old two percent will work fine, I think. See you in a bit? Thanks Bella, you are awesome!" _Damn right I'm awesome. __I am so awesome I should be named Awesomella!_ _Who else would drop what they were doing just to go get someone __moo__ juice_? Le sigh. _Shit, Alice is rubbing off on me with the damn netspeak! _I really need to get back to work on my Edward Cullen Charm Deflection Shield. There must be a chink in the armor somewhere.

*****

Twenty minutes, $2.39, and a handful of leers from the bagger at the store later, I was on my way to the Cullen estate.

Along the way, I began to revisit my conversation with Edward from last night. He had seemed genuinely concerned about me. We'd never really talked before, at least not beyond the weather or score of the Mariners' game--_not to mention I can rarely muster an ounce of intelligence around him--_ so I guess I was a little surprised when he offered to pick me up. I was also a little nervous about it. Not because I'd be in the same car with a fuckhawt guy for a slightly extended period of time, but because I wasn't quite sure what we could possibly have to talk about. To say that I was blindsided when he showcased an astute observation of my mood would be a gross understatement. After he mentioned it, I assumed he was just being polite, not that he actually wanted to hear about the problem, which was why I answered the way I did. No one likes an attention whore. _I'm talking to you, Octomom._

The crunching of gravel under my tires alerted me to my approach of the house. I parked and cut the engine, then hopped down out of Big Bertha. Grabbing the jug of milk in one hand, I strolled up to the front door. I pushed the thumb lever down and swung it wide open, stepping inside to call out, "Hello? Edward? I've got your milk!"

I heard him call out from somewhere deep in the house, "I'm in the parlor, Bella!" _Parlor? Who calls it a parlor? I began to question what century Edward was born in…_

I waltzed through the maze of hallways until I came to a stop in front of the double doors of the _parlor_. Definitely needed to come up with a new word for this room.

I clutched the handle in my right hand and pushed it inward, giving me a clear view of what was sure to be the wrong room. Alice was standing there, grinning like the Joker. Her hands were behind her back, and I watched in confusion as she slowly stepped aside and flourished her arm like she was channeling Vanna White. My eyes trailed along her still-outstretched arm until they reached the piano, where I noticed Edward sitting on the black bench. He grinned and started to play a rousing rendition of "Happy Birthday", to which they both sang along.

"…happy birthday dear Bellllllaaaaaaa! Happy birthday to you!" They both wore smiles the size of Seattle on their faces. I couldn't help but join them.

"What is this you guys? You didn't have to do this."_ Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry._

"Oh, we're not done, Bella! Turn around." Alice swiveled me around so I was facing the back of the room. My eyes widened in wonder at the sight of many small cakes sitting on individual, colorful plates. I slowly counted in my head: one, two, three…nine, ten, eleven…fifteen, sixteen, seventeen. _Seventeen cakes_. Each one was different in color and size, ranging from bright blue to soft green, the largest being about the size of a top tier of a wedding cake, and the smallest being a petit four. Atop each cake was a single candle, each brightly lit with a tiny flame. I was flabbergasted. _In times like these, I usually cry._ So I did. I let all the emotion out that I had been holding in for so long. _Damn teenage hormones._

"Bella, why are you crying? Do you not like cake? Do you not like Edward's singing? _Gasp_—do you not like MY singing?" Alice was flitting about, trying to discern the cause of my emotional waterfall.

I had to laugh at her, but it came out slightly choked due to the lump in my throat. "No, Alice, I love cake. I enjoyed the singing—from _both_ of you. I just don't know what to say. I can't believe you did all this, Ali. You are the best friend ever, truly." I gave her a big hug to punctuate my point.

"Well, not that I don't appreciate the thanks, but I have to admit that it wasn't my idea." _Come again?_

"What do you mean not your idea? Did Esme suggest it?" _I made a mental note to thank Esme later._

"Ah, no, not Esme. Edward." She flicked her head toward Edward, who was still sitting on the piano bench, looking down slightly with a small smile on his mouth.

"Edward?" _I was having a hard time processing that. __Edward did this, for me?__ HE did it for ME. But why?_

He gave a small shrug, a shy smile playing upon his lips, and simply said, "Happy birthday, Bella. I thought you could use a little cheering up after last night, so I told Alice about it when she finally made an appearance at home last night. I figured, what's a celebration without cake?"

_OH I, I JUST DIED IN YOUR ARMS TONIGHT_

_MUST HAVE BEEN SOMETHING YOU SAID_

You got that right, soundtrack.

Wow. Just wow. Edward Cullen thought enough of me to go out of his way to cheer me up with edible delights. But wait—I frowned a bit, furrowing my eyebrows as I said, "But where did you get all these beautiful cakes on such short notice? I'm assuming you didn't bake them." _And if you did, well dammit, you are never leaving my side, ever again. _Um, where the hell did that come from?

"Hahaha, no, we didn't bake them. Mom has a friend that owns a bakery in Port Angeles, and she called in a favor. I picked them up this morning." His face was glowing as he laughed at my befuddlement.

"To be honest, I don't know what to say, Edward. This is great. Beyond great. Fantastic. Wonderful. Terrific. What other synonyms for 'great' am I missing? If you think of any, add them to the list. I don't think they will be enough to convey my thanks, but it will do." _Word. Vomit. Must. Stop. _

"Just 'thanks' will do, Bella. I just wanted to see you smile. A _real_ smile this time." He gave me a lowered look to imply that he knew I plastered on a fake smile for him last night._ He wanted to see me smile. Ohmygod he wanted to see me smile! _

"Ok, well, thanks Edward. And Alice. And Esme." I realized I was still holding the gallon of milk.

"Wait. So you didn't really need the milk? It was a ploy to get me here?"

He wore an embarrassed smile and brought his hand up to scratch his head. "Er, well, yeah, sorry. I couldn't think of anything else. But hey, at least we have milk to drink while we eat the cakes! Speaking of cakes, why don't you make a wish and blow out your candles? Or, would that be make _seventeen_ wishes?" This time the smile was of the teasing variety. _Cocky bastard knows what his smiles do to me. He's got to. _

"Hm, I better think of something good." My gaze flickered between the cakes, Alice, and Edward, pausing a half-second longer on his smug mug. _Shit._ _I feel the Edward Cullen Charm Deflection Shield slowly disintegrating. He's the Devil in disguise. Well, since I'm already going to Hell, might as well do it thoroughly._

I made seventeen identical wishes: _Please don't let me get hurt, because I am _definitely_ falling for Edward Cullen_.

* * *

**References: **

Jake Ryan: Again, the hot 'hero' from Sixteen Candles. He'll probably be referenced a lot. Last time I 'splain.

Oh Shit! Handle: the handle above the passenger doors in a car that you grab onto when the driver makes a sharp turn or you fear for your life. Handy little things.

Use the Force; Funny, he is not: Star Wars reference. Yoda to Luke.

Mariners: Seattle baseball team

Attention whore/Octomom: crazy lady that had a crazy doctor impregnate her with a plethora of embryos. Soon after the birth, she was selling her story. Classic case of attention whoring.

The Joker: Batman villain

Vanna White: letter-turning hostess on Wheel of Fortune.

Porsche link in profile, as well as songs used in chapter

**Soundtrack songs**:

Shoop, by Salt N Pepa

(I Just) Died in Your Arms, by Cutting Crew

**A/N**

Ok, again, major thanks to AmryMarie and RedVelvetHeaven. I feel like I should start singing some Josh Groban here…

I forgot a rec last update, In Stereo by Twilighter620. It's great. And did I mention The Caged Bird, by Kristen Nicole? Even if I did, there ya go again.

You guys astound me. I got recced on The Gazebo and The Fictionators last week. Holy Fangirl squee, Batman! My faves and alerts have doubled, and I get the best reviews! Thank you so much!


	6. Maneaters, Football, and Crazy Bitches

**Disclaimer: Twilight is not mine. None of the songs used in this chapter are mine. This chapter earns the fic its NC-17/Mature rating. **

**A couple of surprise POVs here…if you are under the age of adulthood in the US, you should skip the last one, truly. Enjoy. It's a long one (_that's what she said_).  
**

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**Chapter 5-Maneaters, Football, and Crazy Bitches**

_New York Girls_-Morningwood

_N-N-N-New York Girls  
Come on you know you're hot  
A-A-A-Attitude  
And that's what makes you rock_

_In your tight black jeans  
And my high heeled shoes  
God, I think you're hot  
I got to get with you_

**Bella POV**

I stayed at the Cullen house a bit longer that morning before heading back home. I was still pretty shocked by the whole surprise of it all. I'd had a complete mindfuck, courtesy of a Mr. Edward Anthony Cullen. There was no way that I would be able to go back to how things were after that display of complete and utter sweetness. I mean, come on, how many teenage boys would go out of their way to do something like that for their younger cousin's friend? Hm, let me think..._none!_ _Well, at least one, apparently._ I was in deep doodoo at that point, but the scary part was that I no longer _wanted_ to avoid it. _Did the Eagles reunite again? Did Hell freeze over?_

I said my goodbyes and got a hug from Alice. Before I turned to leave though, Edward called my name again and gestured me over.

Clasping my shoulder in his warm, large hand, he squeezed slightly and said, "Happy birthday, Bella. I hope the rest of your day is great." With that, he pulled me into a hug. _Oh my God, kill me now. _Back away! _Don't let go!_ _Want to touch the heiney_...resist! You must resist! I shook my head a bit to clear my mind, and pulled away.

"Thank you, Edward, for...well, everything. The ride, the singing, the cakes. Everything." I offered a genuine smile again. _My hands itched to grab hold of him and pull his body to me once more._

"Like I said before, it was absolutely no problem. I saw a friend in need--in more ways than one--and wanted to help." _Friend._

"Friends, huh? I think I like that." I gave a wry smile, because I knew I was fucking lying out of my ass. _I want __to be __more than friends. So much more than just friends._ But I can't, so I won't.

His face took on a contemplative look, before he smiled and said, "Yeah, me too." He nodded, seemingly more to himself than to me, and said goodbye again. I finally left the grounds, wondering just how much my life had changed from that simple morning.

When I got home, Charlie had pizza waiting for lunch, and he gave me a gift card for iTunes. Surprisingly, that night before I went to bed, Renee called. She was in tears, apologizing over and over again for not remembering my birthday. She must have asked me to forgive her close to 27 times. _Of course, I did. I'm hopeless. _But I accepted her apology, because I felt loved enough that day already.

*****

Since I was no longer actively avoiding Edward, it made hanging out with Alice much easier. We were even able to watch movies together, and occasionally Edward and I ended up on the same couch, mere inches away from one another. _I ha__d__ at least an ounce of willpower left though, as I was able to __refrain__ from completely jumping him_.

Even in school, during Biology, I allowed myself to actually make small talk with Edward, instead of sticking to project-related topics. Yes, there was a bit of touching involved. _Minds out of the gutter! Nudges, arm taps, and the like. Dirty birds._

A couple weeks after my birthday, we were all in the parking lot one fine Monday morning. Alice and Jasper were making goo-goo eyes at each other--_truly, it was sickening--_and Emmett and Edward were teasing me. Emmett had been sharing about his latest conquests, and I really had no interest in hearing it.

"Oh come on, Bells! There is nothing wrong with me playing the field. I'm young, single, and kinda studly--don't deny it!" He laughed as he said the last part, seeing the roll of my eyes.

"Emmett, I didn't say I thought there was anything wrong with you having a good time, I just don't think that it is necessary for you to play _multiple_ fields that are the size of Qwest Field." I shot him a pointed look, because he had better not _even_ try to refute that.

"Aw, Bella, don't discourage him! I am living vicariously here!" Edward winked at me, nudging me in the side before crossing his arms across his chest. _Mmmm, his broad, toned chest._ Cease and desist all chest ogling.

"Whatever, Edward. You pave your own road in life." I lowered my gaze a smidgen and raised my eyebrows at him. _Yes, we were at the flirty, teasing stage. Not like it was going to get me anywhere. _If you can't beat 'em, join 'em!

"And you, _Emmett_, someday you will get your comeuppance. Just you wait. Remember Jerry Maguire? Eh? Someday, some lucky woman is going to come along and burn that little black book of yours, and I'm going to be the one starting the fire!" I shook my finger at him while scolding. _It was the maternal side of me__, what can I say._

He laughed loud enough to make the alarm on the car next to us go off. "Well don't hold your breath, Bella. I am going to keep taking advantage of the plethora of women as long as Pretty Boy here, is off the market!" With that, he grabbed Edward into a chokehold, and they stumbled off. Jasper disengaged from Alice's face long enough to see them, laugh, and run off to gang up on Edward.

Alice and I hung back, keeping an eye on what the boys were doing. _They decided now was a great time to wrestle on the lawn._

"Well, Miss Bella, how are you holding up? Don't think I don't see those flashes of color across your face every time Edward touches you, or the secret smiles when he flirts. I have to say though, you are starting to give as good as you get. I swear, I don't know what he sees in that Kate. He seems a lot happier when she's not around." The entire time she was talking, her eyes were glued to a compact mirror, twisting and tweaking the spikes at the ends of her pitch-black hair. Oh wait, that week she had pink-tipped spikes. Apparently the fashion color theme of the week was pink. _I was damn glad that she never tried to dress me._

"Alice, have you _seen_ Kate? She's perfect, and I never hear anyone say a bad word about her. Edward certainly hasn't mentioned being unhappy. Not that he would, though." I swiveled my head at the very unlady-like snort that came out of my petite friend.

"Bella, I have learned more about _Ms. Perfect_ in the past few months than anyone--other than Edward--knows after years. What you see? Not her. _Trust_. She's quite good at the image game. She was raised in it, so it comes natural. But she isn't as nice as she appears." _Pause, breath._ "And as far as him not mentioning being unhappy, well, that is Edward. He likes to make things as easy as possible on everyone but himself. He's an idiot, in my opinion, because things seem to be so much easier and smoother around you, but _nooooo_, he thinks it would be simpler to stay with Kate to avoid the drama." _Pause, huff, eyeroll._ "You know, I have tried to tell that boy that _you_--," she was cut off by a squeal coming from the entrance, and we turned to see a cherry-red Mustang whipping into the lot. _Hm, what new dickhead was making up for __his__shortcomings?_

As the car passed us, I identified the driver as blond, and definitely not male. _So much for the compensating assumption._ I heard Morningwood's _New York Girls_ blaring from the vehicle. She slowed down a bit, observing the boys' antics, then squealed the tires away to find a parking spot.

We continued watching as she parked the car and elegantly stepped out of the driver's door. Apparently, the guys had noted her arrival, as their wrestling had ceased, and all three of them stood slack-jawed. _I actually wasn't sure if they were staring at her, or the car. Maybe both._

I turned back to see Ms Beauty Queen approaching Alice and I. She had long blond hair, nearly reaching her butt, a perfect hour-glass figure accentuated by slim jeans and a curve-hugging top, ending with heels that I would most definitely break an ankle wearing. _Of course she did, because it was obvious that I __needed another kick in my self-confidence's ass._Her face was flawless, as if a make-up artist followed her everywhere. Maybe she hid him in the trunk.

She walked right up to me, stuck out her hand, took mine to shake it, and said, "Rosalie Hale. Who is that hunk of man-meat over there? The big one?" She was pointing right over at the guys, and I could only assume she meant Emmett.

I cleared my throat and responded, "Bella Swan. This is Alice Brandon. That hunk of man-meat is Emmett McCarty, but I have to tell you that you probably won't need to make an effort to land him. He has radar for fresh blood, and a rap sheet of women so long you could mummify yourself with it. But, if you are looking for a good time, he's your man." _Was that too much?_ Hm, that remindeds me of a song. Yes, I had embraced my mental soundtrack. _Emphasis on the 'mental'._

_FOR A GOOD TIME, FOR A GOOD TIME CALL  
_

_  
8 6 7-5 3 0 9_

She stood even straighter than I thought possible, looked me in the eye, and said, "Bella, I'm about to make that man drop to his knees and burn that rap sheet. Watch and learn, ladies, watch and learn."

She turned deliberately on one four inch spike and headed over to the group of boys. I was pretty positive she added an extra bit of swagger to her already-seductive walk. _Holy Hell, Emmett was in so much trouble. I was going to get front-row tickets!_ Alice and I looked at each other, eyes wide, and we squealed, practically running over each other trying to get to the green grass the boys occupied.

_OH HERE SHE COMES, WATCH OUT BOY, SHE'LL CHEW YOU UP  
_

_  
OH HERE SHE COMES, SHE'S A MANEATER  
_

_  
_Ah, the perfect accompaniment! Now to watch the tigress stalk her prey...

*****

**Rosalie POV**

I swayed up to my target, capturing his attention every step of the way. _Damn right I did; I knew what I was doing._

I could feel his eyes on me, moving from toe to crown, drinking me in. It was a familiar feeling, hard to misplace. I kept my gaze from his face for a minute, taking the time to sweep over the two boys flanking him. One was tall, lanky, and blond, with a nice face. The other was tall, lanky, and had a head of hair that women would pay good money to get; all browns and reds and a blond highlight sneaking out here and there. _Not that I was one of those women; my blond hair was completely natural. _His face was even better, but still not my type. The one in the middle, the girl had said his name was Emmett--now _he_ was my type of man. Tall drink of water, nicely defined, prominent muscles, and dark, curly hair topping off a face that could charm even the Church Lady. _I am a sucker for dimples_. Too bad for him, all men are suckers for _me_.

I finally looked him in the eye when I came to a stop directly in front of him. _Ooh, baby blues_. Good, they'll match mine in our prom pictures.

"Hey, there." I gave him my best 'come hither' smirk. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see his two friends staring at me with their mouths slightly ajar. My smirk grew.

"Hey, yourself." He seemed to be more composed than the other two, though I detected a glint of fear in his eyes. _Oh, I'll give you something to fear, gorilla-man_.

"I'm Rosalie, Rosalie Hale. I just moved here from New York. How would you like to be my personal guide in getting to know _everything_ about Forks?" _Let's see him turn down that offer._

"Well, Rosalie, I don't know. It might take up more time than I have to share. Would you be willing to share me?"

I steeled my gaze at him, and responded, "Honey, when I'm through with you, you won't _need _to make time for anyone else, and you definitely won't _want_ to." _There was that flash of fear again_. I've got this one locked up.

There was a pause as he seemed to contemplate my words, then he clenched his jaw a bit and hardened his eyes back at me.

"Is that a fact? Well, Ms Hale, I really hate to break it to you, but I don't make time for people. _They_ make time for _me_. So, unless your fine ass is offering me something, I'll be on my way. Catch ya around." He gave me a nod of his head, smirked, and beckoned his friends to leave with him.

_What?!?! _Who in the everloving-fuck did he think he was?? I am Rosalie Hale! Nobody walks away from me! That clown is going to regret ever turning his back on me..._I am a master of seduction_.

Let the games begin.

I turned around and stalked back to where Bella Swan and Alice Brandon were standing. I had a feeling we were going to be _good_ friends.

*****

**Bella POV**

I was still trying to fully comprehend what had happened between Rosalie and Emmett when she came barreling back to us. Her face was livid! Apparently, she was not used to rejection. _Um, duh! Just _look _at her!_

"So, Rosalie, what was that lesson supposed to teach us, exactly? How to fail at snagging a man? If yes, it _so_ worked." _And if looks could kill, I'd have been hacked up into little pieces, lying in a gutter somewhere..._

"No, _Bella_." She snapped at me like a damn turtle. _Watch your nose, they bite!_ "He was supposed to drop to his damn knees and thank the Heavenly Father above that he found me! I have never, I repeat--_never_--gotten that kind of response from a man. What is wrong with him? Is he ill? Perhaps dropped too many times as a baby?" _I swore I saw smoke coming out of her ears._ Her face looked a little flushed as well.

"Um, well, I can't answer about the baby thing, but he's not ill, as far as I know. I warned you though. He eats women for breakfast, and never stays long enough for lunch." Have you ever seen a volcano right before it was about to blow up? I was witnessing Mount Saint Rosalie.

"Oh Bella, Bella, Bella. Rosalie Hale does not back down from a challenge, which is _exactly_ what that was. Emmett McCarty has just met his match. He'll not only stay for lunch, he's gonna Make. Me. Dinner." Apparently, she was beyond angry, and had moved on to cunning. Her face was as calm as could be, and I saw the resolve flash in her eyes. "You girls up for a little game of emotional chess?" _Hold on tight, spider monkeys, we're in for a wild ride!_

*****

That first week of Rosalie was pure hell. All week long, she purposely ignored Emmett in the halls, and pointedly greeted every other male form in sight. She certainly knew how to work the opposite sex. The confident smile, twinkling eyes, slight touches here and there. _Maybe I _could_ learn a few things from her. _The boys of Forks were eating her up like a damn banana split with extra whip cream, hold the cherry. _Pun intended_.

At lunch, they sat on opposite ends of the table, with Edward and I on Emmett's side, and Alice and Jasper on Rosalie's. Edward had taken to sitting with us more and more, and it pissed Kate off exponentially until she eventually snapped. He told her that he just wanted to sit with his friends more, and didn't mind if she sat by hers. That seemed to calm her down, so he gave her a quick peck and swatted her behind toward the other tables. _I had to look away each time they kissed, no matter how quick the motion was_.

On Wednesday, one of Emmett's past conquests came over and whispered something in his ear, causing him to grin. I caught the brief glance he made toward Rosalie, though I'm pretty certain that no one else saw it. He turned to answer her, grabbing hold of her thigh in the process, "Sounds good babe, meet me upstairs after sixth period." He gave her a wink and squeezed her thigh before releasing her. I turned to look at Rosalie, and she was just glaring at Emmett, almost as if she was conjuring up daggers to chuck at him.

I felt warm breath next to my ear before I heard his voice, "If he keeps this up, I think he's going to find a spiked heel lodged in his balls before the end of the day." I turned to face Edward, and smiled tightly, raising one eyebrow and nodding my head in agreement.

I took a gulp of my orange Crush and turned back to him to say quietly, "I think these two are going to end up killing each other before the week is out. You?" He laughed under his breath and nodded his head down once. _I could still feel the heat of his mouth, centimeters away from my ear. I'm going to go insane. Mommy!_

Rosalie turned to me and asked, "So, Bella, what exactly do you people do for fun around here? My brief look around town wasn't exactly promising."

"Well most of the time we go to Port Angeles if we want to go out. Going to the Lodge here gets old pretty quick."

"Port Angeles, huh? Do they have a college or anything over there?" _And what are we getting at, Ms Hale?_

"Yes, Peninsula College. Why do you ask?" _As if I couldn't figure it out._

"Oh, just so I know where to head when I want to find some real men. High school boys just don't cut it for me any more." After putting that out there, she cast a lingering stare in Emmett's direction. I could tell he had been listening, even though he was currently very interested in what was on his plate. He slowly brought his gaze up to meet her, sneered, then stood up.

"Well, children, if you don't mind, I've got a _meeting_ to attend." He nodded to Edward and Jasper, and wiggled his fingers in my and Alice's directions. _Duly noted that he completely bypassed Rosalie._

"_Argh!_ He's such a caveman!" I looked at Rosalie out of the corner of my eye. _Seriously? _

"Rosalie, if you are reacting to him this easily, you are in for less of a chess game than you counted on. Although, I must say, nice stunt with the 'college guys'."

"It wasn't a stunt, Bella. I plan on being out there this weekend to scope out the selection. By the way, I need your assistance. I need you to get Emmett out there too. Do they have a quad or lawn or something where people hang out?" I nodded. "Good. Bring him there, around noon. I don't care how it happens, just make it happen. I've got to get to class. See ya." She fluidly rose and strutted out of the cafeteria. Watching her go, I slowly shook my head from side to side. _Unbelievable_.

I didn't even notice that Alice and Edward were still sitting there. Jasper must have left though, because the space next to Alice was empty. Alice had her chin propped in her palm, with her elbow resting on the table.

"So, do you intend to do as she asked? Ha, well, not so much asked as _demanded_. I don't know why the two of them are doing this tango...it is obvious that they are attracted to each other, otherwise they wouldn't react so jealously to each others' antics. Maybe we _should_ do this. Although we should do it to teach them a lesson!"

She planted her hands on the table, and slowly rose up out of her seat, "Get them both there, make sure they drive each other crazy, and convince them that neither one wants the other! They are both so damn cock-sure that it would drive them crazy to know that they aren't wanted. Hell, Rosalie's already there." Alice had a wicked gleam in her eye, and while I was completely on board for her plan, I was extremely glad that she was on my team.

"Now that sounds like a plan, Alice. I really don't know how much longer I would have been able to stand the two of them before slapping one, or hell, both. Edward, you in?" I turned to look at Edward, who was now moving to stand up.

"You bet your pretty little ass I'm in." _He called me pretty. __Well, he called my ass pretty. B__etter yet, he called__ it__ little! Score!_

"You think I have a little ass, huh?" I cheekily questioned him, and he was obviously flustered.

"Um, ehhh, not that I was looking or anything, you know, it was an--," _I decided to let him off the hook._

"Relax, Edward, I was teasing you. Now let's get my little ass to Biology before I get another detention for being late. Ali." I nodded at Alice, and she twirled around, pumping her fists in the air.

"Yessss! I cannot freaking wait! We are gonna get them so good!" She took off down the hall, spinning every so often. _Dear Lord, that girl makes my head hurt._

"Come on, Edward, let's go dissect some frogs. I hear the legs are tasty." We headed off to Biology together, walking close enough to brush arms every once in a while. _I have to get my fixes of Cascada any way I can. _

*****

_I'm Not Your Boyfriend_-3OH!3

_I'm not your boyfriend, baby,  
I ain't your cute little sex toy,  
I'm not your lion or your tiger,  
Won't be your nasty little boy_

Saturday didn't come quick enough, especially for Alice. If I didn't know her so well, I'd have sworn she was high on uppers Thursday and Friday. The girl did not sit still. Well, except when Jasper was around. He could calm her with the touch of his fingers to her palm, almost like he was her Ritalin. He was also all for the fuckery being planned, because he could barely take the emotional whiplash that Emmett was dishing out at home. According to Jasper, Emmett hadn't brought home a girl since the day he met Rose, yet all he did was bitch about her. Coulda fooled us, because at school he was Mr. Player; constantly surrounded by different girls in between classes, looking like the life of the party.

We left Alice and Edward's house, taking Jasper's trusty Corolla. None of the rest of us had vehicles that would seat five people. Of course Emmett got to ride shotgun, mainly because he couldn't fit in the backseat. Alice rode bitch, since she was the smallest. That left Edward and I with window seats. I passed the time on the way to Peninsula by drawing in the fog on the windows. Between Jasper and Emmett arguing over music--Emmett wanted old school hip-hop, Jasper insisted on classic rock--and Alice babbling on and on about the new line from Proenza Schouler..._whatever that was_… there was enough hot air in the vehicle to lift an air balloon.

We never did tell Emmett the real reason for the daytrip to the Port. He just thought we wanted to get out. Imagine his surprise when we walked into the quad to see a gaggle of men surrounding none other than Rosalie Hale. _Well she certainly didn't hold back_. She was sitting atop a picnic table, legs neatly crossed at the knee, leaning back with her palms flat on the table behind her. Every time one of the three guys around her would smile and say something, she would throw her head back and laugh. _She had to know we were here; no one is that funny_.

Emmett stopped in his tracks, eyes narrowed, mouth set in a line. "Um, guys, what the fuck is _she_ doing here? I thought we were here to relax and chill for the afternoon." He crossed his arms across his chest, and it felt like we were being scolded for stealing cookies.

Alice was quick to respond, "Oh Emmie, why do you let her get to you? You said you don't want her, and I'm pretty sure she doesn't really have an interest in you. That first day was just because you were a shiny new toy for her to snatch up. I mean, look at her; she's obviously having a great time with those guys."

He squinted in her direction again, sighing, and picked Alice up and slung her over his shoulder, "Ok little one, I guess you are right. Except for the part about her wanting me. I know she wants my jock." He laughed and jogged off a bit, with Alice shrieking and pounding him on the back.

"Hey, man! You be careful with my intended bride! I need her intact for a few more years at least!" Jasper took off after them, helping Alice down off Emmett's shoulders. Alice cooed at him and pushed up on her tiptoes to kiss him. _Ugh, gag me._

I held a football in my hands, as the guys wanted to play touch football. I wasn't really sure how much of a game we could make with the five of us, and it was a guarantee that Rosalie would not be joining us in those heels, unless she played barefoot. The day was pretty warm for so late in September, and Emmett stripped off his t-shirt to play bare-chested. I caught Rosalie staring a few times, and then glaring and huffing when a few girls gathered to watch us play. It was obvious they were watching Emmett, because they kept whispering to each other and gesturing toward him, cheering when he'd score or make a stop. _I guess Rose's plan was backfiring, yet again. _

The guys that were with Rose took an interest in our game, and asked to join. Rose, of course, was miffed at first that she lost their attentions, but then took advantage of the change in situation and started cheering them on. With the death glares that Emmett and Rose were sending each others' way, I'm surprised there weren't birds and small woodland creatures falling left and right.

At one point, I got the ball, and was running across the grass, trying to escape the clutches of each person I passed. All of a sudden, I felt an arm wrap around my waist, and I was airborne for a second before thudding to the ground with an _Ooomph__! _I felt a heavy body land on top of me, and we rolled a bit until said body settled between my legs. I opened my eyes to find delicious green ones staring back at me with panic

"Oh my God, Bella, I'm so sorry!! Are you okay?? I didn't mean to knock you down!" His arm was still around my waist, and his mouth was so close to my own that I could smell wintergreen as he spoke. _What I really wanted to do was take a deep breath and sigh, but I contained myself. _He was watching me intently, awaiting an answer.

"Um, I think I'm okay. Except for the fact that I kinda can't feel my legs. You're laying on them." _Stupid, stupid girl!!! Why did you point that out? Now he'll move!_

"Oh! Right." He stood up, extending an arm to reach down and assist me in getting upright. We stood there a second, still holding hands, and I swear time stood still and the wind ceased to blow.

_I GET LOST, IN YOUR EYES  
_

_AND I FEEL MY SPIRITS RISE  
_

_  
AND SOAR LIKE THE WIND  
_

_  
IS IT LOVE, THAT I AM IN?_

Um, no. No, it isn't. _Stupid soundtrack_. This isn't a romcom_._

I cleared my throat, and let go of Edward's hand. He hesitated a second, like he wanted to say something, then shook his head and smiled. "Sorry again, Bella. I slipped."

"Eh, no blood, no foul, right?" I winked at him for a change. _Can you handle THAT__?!_ My mental-self was shaking her head at me. Loser.

We brushed ourselves off and rejoined the game. In our brief absence, Rosalie and Emmett had apparently gotten into a bit of a tiff. She was standing straight up, arms locked at her sides, fists balled. He stood in front of her, cradling the football in one arm, and splaying the other hand out to his side.

"God, you are _such_ a _bitch!_"

"And you are an archaic, Neanderthal _asshole!_"

"Well I'd rather be a Neanderthal with a sense of humor than an Ice Queen bitch. It was a joke! Haven't you ever heard a football referred to as a 'pigskin' before?!"

"You know damn well that you weren't referring to the football, you cocky son of a bitch!"

At that point, they were nose to nose, and I thought it might be a good time to step in. Alice was too busy enjoying the show--_I was expecting her to request popcorn any second_--and Jasper was too busy watching Alice to do anything about it. With the lackeys standing behind Rosalie, and the rest of us standing behind Emmett, I wouldn't have been surprised to experience a dance-off at any second--

_JUST BEAT IT! BEAT IT! NO ONE WANTS TO BE DEFEATED!  
_

_  
SHOWIN' HOW FUNKY, STRONG IS YOUR FIGHT  
_

_  
IT DOESN'T MATTER, WHO'S WRONG OR RIGHT  
_

_  
JUST BEAT IT, BEAT IT_

Sighing, I shook my head at myself. _I'm absurd_. I pretended to don my sparkly glove to go show the gangs how they could get along if we all danced in sync.

"Whoa! Time out!" I walked between the two, giving the 'T' sign with my hands. "Now, look guys, can we please just get over whatever happened and get back to having a good time? This is ridiculous."

Rose huffed and crossed her arms, looking away. Emmett shook his head and groaned, tossing the ball up and down briefly.

"You know what? I think I'm done here. I've had enough 'fun' for one day. Ice Bitch, have a great one." He tipped an imaginary hat and started to turn away.

"Oh, come off it, Cro-Magnon. Don't deny that you want _this_." Rosalie flicked her hand up and down her body.

"Oh, honey, I don't deny that. It's what's above _that_ that I don't want. That mouth of yours doesn't know when to stop. Now, I could suggest a few ways to shut it up for you, if you want?" He grinned cockily.

"_Ooooooooh! _You are SUCH a dick! You couldn't make me shut up with what _you've_ got! I'd love to see you try!" _Danger__,__ Will Robinson__, danger!__ Abort mission__!_

"OKAY! ENOUGH! You two, separate. Emmett, go back to the car with the others. Rosalie, come over here with me." I dragged her away from the field, hearing her protest every step of the way.

"Come on, Rose. Why don't you just admit that you want him? He wants you too, I know it. This whole back-and-forth was entertaining for a while, but honestly, I am ready to slap both of you. Don't make me do it, because I slap hard."

"He's just so infuriating!" She grabbed her head with her fingertips to emphasize her point.

"You aren't much of a help, you know. You seem to enjoy goading him on, actually."

"_Ugh_, I can't _help_ it. He makes my blood boil." I placed my hands on her shoulders to try to calm her down.

"Well, we are going to go back to Forks. How about you do the same, and take the rest of the weekend to calm down? We'll see you at school on Monday." I made her look in my eyes and she nodded, visibly trying to relax herself.

_Great googly-moogly. The two of them will be the death of me._

*****

We drove back to Forks in near silence, excepting the few times that Emmett could be heard mumbling things like _'Un-fucking-believable'_ and _'Who the hell does she think she is_'. When we made it back to the Cullens', I left to go home, as did Jasper and Emmett.

Sunday afternoon, I got a call from Emmett. When we all exchanged cell numbers a while back, I never thought I'd actually hear from _him_. Alice, yes, Edward, maybe, but Emmett? No. So imagine my surprise when my phone rang out _I'm Too Sexy_ by Right Said Fred, and the ID flashed "E=MC2".

"Hello?" The puzzlement was evident in my voice.

"Hey, Bella-ella. It's Emmett. What's up?" _How many nicknames was he going to come up with for me?  
_

_  
_"Hey, Emmett. Um, nothing much. Just finishing up some homework. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Well, I need a favor. Do you have Rosalie's phone number? I'm kind of getting sick of this fighting bullshit, and I want to talk to her to see if we can be somewhat friendly. She's completely killing my mojo. I haven't had any tail for a solid week because of her!" _And I'm sure that you are ready to explode, in more ways than one._

"Uh, sure, I guess. But I can't say that I think she'll talk to you." I gave him Rose's number, and wished him luck.

"Porta-Bella, you don't need luck when you're Emmett McCarty." I could imagine him winking on the other end. I rolled my eyes and laughed.

"Okay, Em, whatever you say. I'll see you at school tomorrow, if she doesn't kill you before then." I hit 'end' and sat back. _That boy does not know what he is getting himself into. _

*****

_  
Crazy Bitch_-Buckcherry

_Hey! You're a crazy bitch  
But you fuck so good I'm on top of it  
When I dream I'm doing you all night  
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on_

**Emmett POV**

After Bella gave me Rosalie's number, I called immediately. No sense in putting it off. Besides, I'm a 'do it now or do it never' kind of guy.

I dialed, hit 'send', and waited. I counted 4 rings before hearing an icy voice answer, obviously in confusion as to the identity of the caller.

"Ice Bitch, how's it going?" I heard her groan, then a _click_. I stared at the phone in my hand--_that bitch hung up on me!_ Shit. Plan B.

I called Bella again, and asked for Rose's address. She laughed when I told her she hung up on me, and kindly refrained from saying _'I told you so'_. I google-mapped the address, then went downstairs.

I left my house to drive across town to Rosalie's address. I jumped up into my jacked-up Jeep Wrangler, and turned on some tune-age. I had to laugh at what came on first, because Buckcherry was quite apt in this situation.

"Crazy Bitch is damn right," I said out loud to the steering wheel.

When I reached her neighborhood, I let out a low whistle, craning my neck a bit to see the houses on both sides of the street. I should have known she was from money, what with that car she drove. My house could probably fit into each of these houses three times over.

I pulled up to her place--I couldn't really call it a house. I think McMansion would be a better description--and cut the engine. _'Here goes'_, I thought to myself, jumping down from the seat onto the perfect, black driveway. I saw her car sitting in the driveway near the garage, so I knew she was home. I walked up to the front door and rang the bell. I could hear some classical-sounding shit ringing out, and rolled my eyes.

Rosalie answered the door, which was surprising because I half-expected a butler to answer, with white gloves and a funny British accent and everything.

"What, Ice Bitch, does the help have the day off?" Hm, probably not the best way to greet a person I'm trying to be friends with.

"You know what, asshole? If you can't call me by my name, I have zero desire to speak with you. Later, Cro-Magnon." She started to slam the door shut. I shot my arm out to stop her from closing it.

"Shit, you're right. Dammit, can I start over? Hi, _Rosalie_, how are you doing today?" She eyed me suspiciously, and crossed her arms before answering.

"I'm fine. Now please tell me what the fuck you are doing on my porch." She raised one eyebrow at me, waiting. _Damn, I wish I could raise just one eyebrow. That's a talent_.

"You call this a porch? Wow. I thought you might call it a _veranda_ or some other fancy shit." She was still eyeing me, her expression getting more and more exasperated by the second. "Ah, fuck, sorry. Maybe I don't know how to shut up either. Anyway, I came over because you hung up on me earlier. I knew you wouldn't answer the phone again after that, and I still wanted to talk to you. I think we started off wrong. Can I come in?"

She waited a full 13 seconds before opening the door wider and stepping to the side, not looking at me. I took that as an invitation to enter.

I walked into the front hall, and took a quick look around. Fancy, breakable shit everywhere. _Of course_.

"Can we sit down somewhere and talk?" I asked her, and she nodded and led me down a hall into what looked like a theater room or some shit. Huge, plush armchairs were stationed in a semi-circle, all facing a huge projection screen, which I assumed they watched TV on.

"Nice digs." I nodded at her, and she actually thanked me. _Wow, progress. _We both took a seat, on opposite sides of the room.

_  
_"So, the reason I came over. I'd like to be friends. Since all of our friends are in the same group, it would be easier if we got along. If you can hold off on your bitchiness, I can try to hold back on the cockiness." She let out a loud snort. _Well isn't that__ just__ dead sexy._

"_I'm_ bitchy? Sweetheart, you haven't _seen_ bitchy yet. And for some reason, I think that your cockiness is so engrained in you that it will be impossible to restrain yourself." She was leaning forward in her chair, hands placed on the armrests beside her.

"Rosalie, you are the biggest bitch I know, and this may come as a surprise to you, but I'm usually a pretty nice guy. It wasn't until you came along that I had to actually show the cocky side." I moved to stand up, and she mirrored me. "But I can see that we won't be able to compromise here. You are just too unwilling." I smirked at her, and crossed my arms.

"HA! Unwilling? You think _I'm_ the unwilling one? You can't even put your cocky attitude aside for 10 minutes!" She moved closer to me, and we were only inches apart. Her face looked furious, and so, so beautiful. We stood there for a good ten seconds, like an Old West standoff.

I think the next words out of my mouth stunned both of us.

"Ah, fuck it." I reached up, grabbed her face, and planted a kiss on her plump, juicy lips. _Damn, I've wanted to do that since the second she stepped out of that Mustang._

She protested at first, grabbing my hands, but I persisted and firmly cradled her perfect face in my hands. After a couple seconds, she conceded, and started pressing back with her lips, hands on the back of my head. I slipped my tongue out to request entrance into her mouth, and she complied, opening up and snaking her tongue out to test the waters, so to speak. She tasted fantastic, like cherries and peppermint rolled into one.

I groaned a little bit, just relishing the feel of her under my hands. She reached down and tried yanking my shirt up, so I broke apart from her for a brief second to follow her lead and pull my shirt up and over my head. We were frantic; mouths, noses and teeth just smashing together, haphazardly. I've never been so damn anxious to get someone undressed as I was right then. I slipped my fingers under the hem of her shirt, and she realized what I wanted complied, letting me pull it off.

I grabbed her waist to bring her back against me, and between kisses I said, "You drive me fucking insane, woman, but I can't get enough."

She grinned against my lips and responded, "I know _exactly_ what you mean. Once second I hate you, the next I want to completely jump your bones."

While we were confessing, we had both managed to remove our pants and underwear. _How convenient_. I stopped sucking on her neck long enough to hold her back a bit so I could drink her all in. _DAMN, what a fine ass! _I love women of all shapes, but hers was beyond amazing. Her broad shoulders gave her such a strong frame, and her full, pear-shaped tits countered them nicely. Her waist tapered down and then flared out again to deliciously curve into slightly wide hips; _Mama would call 'em 'birthin' hips'. _Her legs were never-ending, and abso-fucking-lutely perfect. _So this is what they call an 'hourglass' figure. _This hourglass would never run out.

I was harder than a fucking steel railroad tie, and I couldn't wait to sink into her. I reached down to cup her ass, squeezing a bit and grinning at her. She rolled her eyes at me, then grabbed my hair to wrench my face back to hers. She managed to breathe out, "I don't know why I want you so bad. This is insane." She moved her mouth down my chest, licking at my nipples and making my chest rumble with pleasure.

Her hand snaked down to grab at me, and I swear to Holy Fucking God that she purred when she discovered the size of my cock. _I know I'm hung, why be shy? _"That's right baby, as you can see, you were wrong yesterday. There is _plenty_ of me to fill you up." I lifted her up, and she wrapped her legs around me, and my cock just hovered near her pussy. I spun around and sat down in one of the huge chairs--_again, mighty convenient_--and yanked her hips toward me, plunging myself straight into her. She was good and worked up, and I slid in so damn easily. _Mother of Fuck.  
_

_  
_We both inhaled sharply, savoring the feeling of a new lay for a few seconds. She started moving her hips a little, getting anxious, and then began grinding her clit against my pubic bone. _Jesus Herbert Christ. I am not gonna last very long here if she keeps that shit up._

I grabbed hold of her hips, and started sliding her up and down, getting a rhythm going. She was making little squeaking noises, and kept mumbling words that I could barely make out, _fucking hate you...such a dickhead...Godammit don't stop...I should slap you...Holy Mother of pearl that feels amazing. _Yeah, I know how to please a chick, what can I say? I wasn't responding because my mouth was busy ravishing her sweet, pink nipples. I believe the saying goes 'more than a handful is a waste'. Well, good thing I got big fucking hands, so you know there was no wasting going on there.

Rosalie started rocking her hips in a way that took me deeper and deeper, bringing me right to the edge. _There is no motherfucking way I'm going to last much longer_.

"Rosie, baby, I'm gonna come any second." _Grunt_. "Please tell me you are close, _please_, _uuunnnghh_."

"Fucking hell Em, you feel so fucking good."_ Whimper_. "I am _rightfuckingthere_. Oh shit, _oh shit oh shit shit shit I'm gonna come Emmett!"_ No fucking need to tell me twice.

I pounded into her a couple more times before I felt the fire explode in a tidal wave of pleasure. I groaned in complete and utter pleasure, and made sure to keep moving so she could ride out her orgasm. I could feel her walls spasming around me, and her legs tightened and released, tightened and released. She buried her face in my neck, and I felt a bite on my collarbone before she let out a sexy as fuck moan and collapsed on me.

Her words were muffled against me, "Oh my fucking God."

"My sentiments exactly, sweet ass." We were both covered in sweat and breathing heavy.

"Shit."

"What Rosie?"

"I just realized that you've fucking ruined me for every other guy. No one is ever gonna measure up to _that_."

"Ha, well, we may just be stuck with each other then. Ya wanna give it a shot?"

"Sure, why the fuck not."

I laughed, because I knew that even though we would probably be at each other's throats constantly, this was going to be the beginning of a beautiful thing.

**References:**

Qwest Field: Name of Seattle Seahawks' football stadium

Jerry Maguire: movie with Tom Cruise, he gets engaged and they throw a party where all the girls from his "little black book" are, and the book gets burned.

Church Lady: Saturday Night Live skit by Dana Carvey. He plays an older, prude church marm. See profile.

Proenza Schouler: Women's clothing line, definitely Alice's style. Thank you to MsTallulahBelle on Twitter.

Romcom: short for Romantic Comedy—style of movie that usually has a moment where the main couple gaze into each other's eyes and all noises fade to the background

"Can you handle THAT": Line from Meet the Parents movie

Dance-off: This had to be put in for LaViePastiche, as I wanted her to put a dance-off scene in Son of a Preacher Man. Michael Jackson video for Beat It involved two gangs that could only find harmony in dance. Epic. See profile for video.

"Danger, Will Robinson": From TV show Lost in Space.

Emmett's cell phone entry-E=MC2: Yes, Einstein's formula, but my reference is to his name. **E**mmett **McC**arty. One E, one M, two Cs. I made a funny.

**Mental Soundtrack****:**

_867-5309 (Jenny)_ by Tommy Tutone

_Maneater_ by Hall and Oates

_Lost in Your Eyes_ by Debbie Gibson

_Beat It_ by Michael Jackson

**All song links on my profile, along with links to Church Lady and Rosalie's car, and Proenza Schouler**

**Thanks to Red and Tosh. You ladies turn my shit around so quickly. I glittery puffy heart you. Oh, and I'll never address it, but protection is always used. This is a baby-free fic.**

**Fic recs this week: In the Land of Milk and Honey, by .magic, Breaking Edward by browniechadowes, Incarcerated by goldenmeadow (slash)  
**

**This was my first lemon. Was it any good? Let me know in a review.****  
**


	7. Boners, The Claw, and Doris Day

**Disclaimer: Twilight is not mine. Simple Man is not mine. **

**

* * *

  
**

**Chapter 6-Boners, The Claw, and Doris Day**

_Simple Man_-Lynyrd Skynyrd

_Boy, don't you worry... you'll find yourself.  
Follow your heart and nothing else.  
And you can do this if you try.  
All I want for you my son,  
Is to be satisfied._

**EPOV**

I pointed the remote at the TV, pressing 'Off'. _A thousand damn channels and nothing good's ever on_.

Sitting on the couch, I leaned backward a bit to rest my head. I stared up at the ceiling for a minute, just thinking about the last few months. My head spun when I thought about everything that had happened, but I was grounded when I realized how little I had actually allowed to change; at least on the outside.

Kate and I were barely speaking anymore, yet neither of us had approached the topic of splitting. I honestly had no clue why. Maybe we were just too comfortable? Maybe it was easier? _Who the fuck knows_.

I did know, though, that I needed to make these outside changes pretty quickly, because that was no way to go through my senior year of high school.

I closed my eyes and remembered the Fourth of July party Alice threw, and couldn't help chuckling a bit.

*****

_When Jasper's little impromptu song-and-dance was done and Emmett came over to laugh about it with me, I kept an eye on Bella. I had this odd, protective feeling of her, what with it being my house and the parties usually getting out of control._

_I watched as she turned around to reclaim her drink, and then sauntered out of the room into the front hall._

_"Emmett, remember that Bella girl I was asking you about?" I kept my eyes on where Bella had just exited the room._

_"Uh, yeah, the one your dick was turning inside-out for?" He said it while grinning maniacally, jabbing me in the ribs. __Fuckhead._

_"Yeah, her...hey, wait a minute! Shut up, assclown! My dick still hangs outside my body just fine." Excuse me while I whip this out. "Anyway, _fucker_, she was the one with Alice at the bar when you guys were singing. Brown hair, cute—er, nice-looking?" _Cute?_ I did a quick head shake at myself.  
_

_  
"Ah, yes, I did notice her. Sure, she's, ah, _cute_. Why?"_

_"Oh nothing, I was just going to go find her and say hey. I'll catch you later." I started to walk away and was yanked back by my collar._

_"Whoa-ho-ho there, little buddy! I want to meet the jailbait! She must be something if she's caught your eye." And he winked at me. He motherfucking _winked_. Who did he think he was, Richard Dawson?_

_"Ok, one, I'm not little. Two, jailbait? Really? And three, she hasn't 'caught my eye'"--yes, I did the fucking air quotes--"she's just Alice's friend. Can't I be friendly with someone I am bound to see on a regular basis?"_

_"Okay, __good__ buddy, let's go say hi to your '_friend'_ then. Lead the way." He flourished his arm out, bowing over slightly, and waited for me to walk away. I wanted to kick him on my way, but didn't want him falling into the piano and breaking something. __On the piano, not him. I didn't really give a shit if he broke something. __I rolled my eyes and headed toward the direction Bella went._

_We walked into the foyer, and I saw her standing near the staircase, looking up. I took advantage of her ignorance of our approach for a moment and gave her a good once-over. Her hair was shiny and full, trailing half-way down her back. She stood with her hands behind her, lightly playing with the ends of the strands. My eyes followed the movement and I let them slowly drift downward, ending on the swell of her rather nice ass... _What the fuck are you doing? Stop looking at her ass! You have a girlfriend!!

_Shaking my head out of my stupor, I called her name. She didn't turn around immediately, and I wondered if she heard me. I was about to reach out to tap her shoulder when she finally turned around, although quite slowly, looking like she got caught with her hand in the cookie jar. __She really had perfected the Look of Terror__._

_I said 'hi' again, and asked how she was doing. Her response was not altogether intelligent, but she seemed to recover after a moment. I silently laughed, remembering Emmett asking __if she was retarded…I was going to have to ask Alice about that__. _

_"Oh, hi, Edward. I was just looking at the pictures." She gestured up the wall in a slightly awkward, yet endearing fashion._

_"Oh, so you _do_ speak? I was beginning to wonder..." I quirked the corner of my mouth up, to let her know I was joking around. It really was the first time she had spoken to me though, at least directly._

_"Ummm, yeah...shit. I...spook...easily?" Her face scrunched up as she ended her defense with a questioning tone. _This girl gets cuter by the second_. I really needed to stop using the word 'cute'._

_I lamented the pictures that were on the wall, as not all were flattering, and then introduced Emmett to Bella. Then I winked at her. __Apparently_ I_ am now Richard Dawson, as well.__ If I could slap myself without looking entirely stupid, I would have._

_Emmett greeted Bella with a handshake, which I found hilarious and had to choke back a wild laugh, mainly because her hand disappeared in his, leaving her with what looked like a stump for a moment. She smiled at him, and I felt a flare of jealousy run through me. _Wait_--__what in the hell do I have to be jealous about? __Hm, maybe because you want her to smile at __you__ like that?__ Cram it, no one asked your opinion._

_Her face flushed red for a moment, then she mumbled something about doing something, pointing toward the bar—I really couldn't make out a single word. She started to walk away, and I panicked. I reached out and grabbed her arm._

_I felt the static shock of a lifetime that jolted straight to my dick, bringing it to attention immediately. _Holyshitfuck_. I released her wrist quickly. __What in the hell made _that _happen??_

_Lucky for me, she didn't notice, because she jerked her arm away like I had burned her and stared at my face in shock. I jumped back a little, surprised at her reaction, but also trying to hide mine. She questioned the music, and Emmett and I just looked at each other confusedly. I told her that the music hadn't changed, and her face did that scrunchy thing again that I was recognizing as her 'confused face'. _Again, with the cuteness!_ Ok, that's it, no more hanging out with Alice. _

_She must have decided to stick around, because she started asking Emmett about Jasper, commenting on how he came across slightly nutty. _How ironic_. In the middle of Emmett's response, however, she went all ADD on me, and called for a high-five. I glanced briefly at Emmett, whose mouth was hanging open, mid-sentence, and he mimed the international symbol for 'crazy' at me, pointing at his head and circling his finger around. To really drive the point home, he mouthed _'She's crazy'_ while doing it. __Thanks, buddy. Thanks. _

_I looked back at Bella, still standing there with her arm in the air, looking a bit ridiculous, and I thought--_Why the fuck not?

_"Uh, okay." I reached out and slapped her five. A look of sheer panic crossed her face, and she rambled quickly about getting a drink or something while she walked away. Thank fucking God she left, because I had another instantaneous boner from the brief skin-to-skin contact. I was completely and utterly mortified. Was that going to happen every single time we touched, however innocent it was? How in the _hell_ was I going to be friends with the girl if that happened constantly??_

_I looked at Emmett, completely and utterly at a loss. He started laughing at me, slapping me on the back._

_"Dude, I told ya. She's retarded or something." _

_Definitely going to need to have a talk with Alice. Soon._

_I walked past the dining room, saw that Alice and Jasper were still forehead-deep in conversation, and noticed Bella lining up a couple shots on the bar. _Shit_.__ In my experience, shots never end well when done in multiples. I swore to myself that I would keep an eye on her the rest of the night, even if it meant that I would not get as fucked up as I had planned. I hadn't seen Kate since we had arrived, which suited me just fine. She was pissing me off lately._

_The night wore on, and I always saw Bella with a drink in her hand. I knew things were getting past the point of fun and veering dangerously into embarrassing territory when she started dancing on the table to _My Humps_. As much as I was enjoying her display of ass-slapping and hip shaking, I knew I had to get her out of there. __I scooped her up before she could further humiliate herself, and she protested loudly, slapping against my chest. I set her down back on her feet, and she announced that "Bella has had enough", and was going home. I didn't want her to get far, so I blocked her from the front door for as long as I could, while seeking out Emmett or Alice. I finally found Emmett near the bar, and he said they were leaving anyway. He and Jasper left--_of course Jasper had to kiss Alice's hand, he was so whipped already--_and I turned to catch Bella trying to make an exit as well._

_Alice was trying to convince Bella to stay over, but Bella insisted on going home. I spoke up and offered to drive her, since I hadn't had a drink for hours. Alice looked at me with brows raised, a little shocked--though about me not drinking much or the ride offer, I'm not sure which--then said fine. She dragged a still-protesting Bella to the front door, grabbing my keys off the hook and tossing them to me._

_"It's a damn good thing you are little, Alice--my backseat isn't exactly roomy." She rolled her eyes at me before grabbing my hand and dragging me out the front door._

_Bella had stopped arguing by the time we got in the car, and tried to curl into the fetal position once in the seat--as much as the seatbelt would allow her to, anyway. She promptly fell asleep before I was even out of the driveway, and stayed that way all the way to her house. There were some interesting mumblings interspersed in there though_--Lady Liberty...tequila...Cascada_....__I guess our Ms Swan was a sleep-talker._

_We had to be quiet getting her out of the car and into the house, for fear of the wrath of Charlie. The Chief was a good guy, but I didn't want to find out just how protective of his daughter he really was._

_Luckily she was a quiet drunk, only letting an occasional 'I love you guys' slip from her mouth. I couldn't help staring at her juicy, full, red lips the first time she uttered those words, and I asked Alice to slap me._

_"Alice, dear cousin, I need you to slap me." She cocked her head to one side for a split second, then slapped me upside the head._ Damn, I needed that.

_"Edward, dear cousin, you will have to explain to me later why I just slapped you. But I thoroughly enjoyed it. FYI."  
_

_After I helped Alice get Bella through her front door, I went back to the car to wait. It didn't take long, and Alice was popping back into the car, typing away on her phone._

_"Alice, who could you possibly be texting at one-thirty in the morning?" I looked at her, puzzled._

_"I'm not texting, _silly, _I'm tweeting. I just _had_ to share with my tweeps what happened at the party tonight! Edward, I think I met my _soul _mate__! And to think, he was right here with you the whole time! Sigh!" __I swear sometimes she was speaking an entirely different language._

_"So, you are pretty close to Bella, right?" Might as well get this over with now..._

_"Yeah, why do you ask? We are so besties, she's awesome!" She was practically vibrating in the bucket seat, clutching her phone to her chest like she was about to swoon._ _Remind me to get a hold of some Xanax whenever I have plans to be around Alice for longer than 5 minutes__._ _For me, not her. She makes me dizzy._

_"Well, I don't know, I guess I just wanted to know if she had any, ah, how do I say this_--mental problems_?" I grimaced at saying the last part; there is no easy way to infer that someone isn't right in the head. Especially to their 'bestie'._

_She had a short bout of laughter before looking at me, "Holy Dolce, you're serious aren't you?" I nodded, and she continued, "Well, ah, not that I know of. She seems to be perfectly sound in the head. Well, unless it's around you. She loses it then. Gets all tongue-tied and---_OH EM GEE. _I did_ not _just say all that. You didn't hear it." She was waving her hands at me, all panicky._

_"Um, no way, I don't think so! You tell me what you know!! She was really bizarre earlier, kind of all over the map. Emmett swears she's crazy, and I just had to ask you. Now what did you mean about her 'losing it' around me?"_

_She wouldn't answer me._ _Persuasion tactics needed to go to Defcon Level 4__._

_"Alice. __Alice__. __Al-iiiiice__. Don't make me tickle it out of you. I swear I will do it." I started creeping my hands toward her, wiggling them a bit to indicate their tickle-ocity. I suddenly felt like Jim Carrey in _Liar, Liar_._

_"Edward, no! Nooooo, please don't make me! She'd kill me if she knew I let it slip!" She was already starting to giggle, before I had even gotten near enough to inflict bodily harm._

_"C'mon, Alice. What do you know? __Hmmmmm?__" I started tickling her along her sides, and she was trying to slap my hands away, laughing breathlessly.  
_

_"__Stop! __HAHAHAHAHA, __noooooo!__ She..._gasp!_...hasn't said..._eeeeeee!_...anything directly! I can just..._squeal!_...tell by the way she acts..._oh my god, stop!_...that she has a crush or something!" I let up on her, and she was gasping for breath, trying to calm her breathing._

_Well that was interesting news._

*****

I'm sure I looked like an idiot, sitting there laughing to myself, but I couldn't help thinking of the rest of the times I must have looked like a complete douche during interactions with Bella. I'd laugh at me if I had been watching…

*****

_The first day of school proved to be interesting. Kate and I got into an argument—_shocker_—and I missed lunch. Shit. I swung by the vending machines on my route to Bio, hurriedly punching the codes in for Cheetos and Coke. I shoved them into my backpack and took off down the hall again, trying to get to class on time. I made it to the door right before the late bell rang, and was entering as it sounded. My eyes swept around to find an open seat, and when I was scanning the row by the window, I realized that a very familiar face passed my line of sight. I brought my view back to her, and smiled. She looked confused for a moment, even glancing behind her—which I admit, I laughed at—and started to walk over to her lab table. _

_I sat down and greeted her, and I'd be a huge liar if I said I wasn't the least bit nervous. Something about this girl made my heart beat a little faster and my nerves go haywire._

_She proved to be just as flustered as I was, though, because she used one of the worst pick-up lines I've ever heard, cringing immediately afterward. I couldn't help laughing out loud at that, mostly because I was glad she said it and not me._

_She obviously thought that I was laughing _at_ her, because she quickly professed that she was going to be quiet, and turned to look at the board._

_Before I could explain why I was laughing, Mr. Banner made it known that he didn't appreciate our socializing during his time. Oh well, I'd just tell her after class._

_Of course, that would have worked if she hadn't pulled a Houdini on me as soon as the bell rang. I'm not sure I've ever seen someone move that quickly. _

*****

Bella kept conversation to a minimum in Bio for the next couple weeks, and even when we did talk, it was about class. I was starting to seriously doubt Alice's 'gut feelings', because I was really getting zero vibes from Bella at that point.

I decided to bust out my superior persuasion skills—_what? Quit laughing. The tickling worked with Alice. _Of course, that is difficult to do when the target of said skills seems to be avoiding you at every turn. She came to our house, but I rarely saw her. If I did see her, it was in passing, and she never stayed long enough to speak to me.

She gave me the perfect opportunity to show that I didn't bite when she called late that Saturday night, looking for Alice. I explained that she was out with Jasper, and I could tell from her response that she needed help. As soon as she said she had no ride home from Port Angeles, all I could think to do was offer to pick her up. There was no way I was letting her take a cab, and I didn't want her being alone for too long. It just wasn't safe. Fuck me though, because no sooner were the words out of my mouth than I remembered that I had plans to go over to Kate's. I asked Bella to hold for a minute, and I used my cell to call her. For some odd reason, I just lied, saying I had a flat tire and wasn't going to make it after all. She seemed a bit put-out, but said 'fine' and hung up on me. I have no idea why I lied; maybe I panicked because telling her I was going to go pick up a girl would have sounded pretty bad, even though the girl in question was just a friend of Alice's. _And someone you happen to enjoy being around, and get woodies at the slightest touch from her_. Yeah, well, that too.

I arrived at the airport, and quickly got the impression that something was wrong from the dejected look on her face. When we got back to her house and I asked what was bothering her, I could not believe the story she gave me about her mother. What kind of mother does that to her child? I wasn't lying when I told her I'd shit twice and die if my mom ever forgot my birthday. I was shocked that she seemed to be rationalizing her mother's behavior away. I made the decision right then and there that I was going to make her birthday special.

After I got home, Alice came back from her date with Jasper. I relayed the night's events to her, and together we came up with the plan to get the cakes for Bella. Well, I guess it was my idea, but Alice refined it, and gave me the suggestion as to how to get Bella over the next morning.

When Bella arrived and saw all that we had done, she started crying and I got all panicky inside, wondering if I had done the right thing. I felt a flood of relief when she explained that they were happy tears, and my heart swelled with pride at being able to put that smile upon her face.

I must admit, when she said she liked the sound of 'friends', I wasn't sure I completely agreed with her. But, I guess if that was all she really wanted, I could go with it. So I agreed. _What the hell else could I do?_

*****

Sometime during my musings, my mother had walked in and sat down next to me on the couch.

"Edward, my boy, what in the world has got you so lost? I just witnessed so many different expressions during the last five minutes while watching you. Care to talk about it?" Esme's warm, welcoming face had a smile on it that would calm a room of accountants during tax season.

"I don't know, Mom. Just a lot on my mind lately." _Didn't feel the need to point out it was more of a 'who' and not a 'what' that was on my mind._

"Are you and Kate having problems, dear? I'm sure everything will work out fine." She smiled reassuringly, smoothing my hair back from my forehead. I let out an unamused burst of laughter.

"Well, you could say that. Although, I'm not really sure that I want it to work out at this point."

"Ah, well, I didn't specify that I thought everything with _her_ would work out." She winked at me, and then continued, "Why don't you tell me about what is going on, maybe I can help? Sometimes talking about it with someone can make you feel better."

She was right. I did need to talk about it. I hadn't said a word to anyone by that point, and I was starting to confuse myself. Esme was usually right on point with her advice in the past, so it couldn't hurt to see what she thought. _Here goes nothin'._

"I don't know, Mom. Things have just changed. Kate and I are no longer the people we were before, and I just can't see myself with her much longer. I want something different, something more." I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees and cradling my head in my hands. "I'm just so confused. I really don't know what to do."

She patted me on the back for a minute, thinking over what I had said. "And what is this 'different' and 'more' that you want? Is there someone else that you think you could have this with?"

I turned my head to the side to look at her, resting my cheek on my palm. "Am I that transparent?"

She lightly laughed, and said, "Well, not exactly, but in my experience, there are very few reasons a person wants out of a relationship. One is for themselves. Another is for _someone_ else. The first person we date is rarely the person we marry, and is even less likely to be the _right_ person for us. So who is she? Anyone I know?"

I didn't say anything, just averted my eyes. I couldn't exactly come out and say, '_Yeah, I have the hots for Alice's best friend_', now could I?

"Okay, then I'll guess. Hm, let me see…Lauren?" I shook my head no. _Hell no._

"Okay then, how about…Jessica?" I grimaced, and she laughed.

"Guess not…oh _wait_, I know!" I looked up at her, curious if she actually figured it out. "It's Bella Swan, isn't it? It has to be."

I could feel my face flush red, which was slightly foreign to me as I was hardly ever embarrassed. _Although, it was becoming more commonplace when Bella was around_. I threw myself back on the couch, covering my eyes with my arm.

"Oh, Edward, I think it is sweet! She is such a nice girl, and quite pretty as well. Always so polite when she comes over. Do you know if she feels the same way about you?" _That is the sixty-four thousand dollar question!_

"Alice says she thinks Bella has a crush on me, but I don't really see it…I mean, I guess there is something there. Things get kind of weird when we are around each other, like we are trying too hard or something." I scrubbed my face with my hands, groaning in frustration.

I began thinking back again; to the day we went to Port Angeles and played football. Rosalie and Emmett were at each other's throats, so I was trying to avoid being too close to either one. During one play, Bella got the ball on a hand-off, and I was chasing her down. I reached out to touch her, and I slipped, accidentally tackling her.

I had ended up lying between her legs, and by some grace of God, she didn't notice the huge erection that had sprung up when my arm went around her waist. _It was still completely involuntary, and had gotten better with time, but was pretty much immediate. _She pointed out that I was lying on top of her, and I hesitated a moment before getting up, because honestly, I was kinda comfy.

I helped her up from the ground, and we stood there for a second, staring at each other. I almost felt like we were in a movie, you know, the ones where the lead characters all of a sudden have a 'moment', and sappy music starts playing and they don't notice anyone else? _Yep, my life had turned into one big movie._ _I was half-expecting Richard Marx to appear, singing while sitting on a rainbow._

The trance was broken when Bella cleared her throat and let go of my hand. Of course, we got awkward, trying to play off what had happened.

"What do you think I should do, Mom? I'm at a complete loss."

"Honey, you do what is in your heart. I have raised you to be a good man, and you've made me proud. I know you will make the decision that is right for everyone involved. _Que sera, sera_. Whatever will be, will be." She smiled softly before pulling me into a hug. Whenever someone wasn't certain as to the outcome of a problem, she would always break out the Doris Day expression. For some reason, it always helped.

I sighed heavily, gripping her a little tighter. "Thanks Mom. I'll have to figure out what to do."

I let go of her after a minute, and smiled. Standing up, I headed to my room. I had a lot of thinking to do, and that was best done in the comfort of my bed.

* * *

**References**

Excuse me while I whip this out: Blazing Saddles quote

Richard Dawson: Family Feud host, Match Game panelist. Famous for always kissing female contestants on Family Feud, and winking at the camera. Swoon.

My Humps: song by Fergie that touts the loveliness of her 'lady lumps', on profile

Tweeps: Short for Twitter people

Bestie: Short for best friend

**A/n**

Sorry this was late, but I had one hell of a time with this chapter. Thank you to RedVelvetHeaven, because she slapped me around a bit (I liked it) and straightened me out. Thank you always to AmeryMarie as well. These two ladies have become my betas, and I couldn't do it without them.

Already writing the next chapter, but reviews make me write faster! Oh, and I noticed a big drop-off in reviews last chapter…were we not fans of the lemon? I know it wasn't what you guys may have been wanting, but unfortunately what you want is going to take some time…

Big thanks to jennday for reccing me on the Dancing with Jenn and Tor podcast on A Different Forest, and for being a huge cheerleader for me and my fic!!

Please let me know in reviews if you came my way via a rec from somewhere…I like to know who is spreading my bullshit to the masses!!

Fic recs this week: Picture Windows by nerac; Maybe I'm Amazed, by alicedances; Edward Wallbanger by feathersmmmm; Emancipation Proclamation by kharizzmatik (Italian-speaking Edward, _swoon_!), and Breaking Edward by browniechadowes. I swear I am going to rec Breaking Edward every chapter until it gets more notice. OCDward—love it. Oh, and one more, I just started reading it last night, on Twilighted, only two chapters in but looks promising—Green Eyes and Lullabies, by dandyvamp.

Lastly, please come join us on the thread: www(dot)twilighted(dot)net(slash)forum(slash)viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=5672


	8. Failure, Sloth, and Fools

**Disclaimer: Twilight is not mine. None of the movies or songs referenced are mine. **

**I do really recommend listening to the songs as you read, as I find it enhances the experience. I like to do this while I read other's stories, if they offer musical selections.  
**

**Songs: Soft-KOL, Hands Down-Dashboard Confessional, Falling For You-Student Rick, Only Fooling Myself-Kate Voegele**

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* * *

  
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**Chapter 8-Failure, Sloth, and Fools**

_Soft_-Kings of Leon

_I'm passed out in your garden_  
_I'm in I can't get off so soft_  
_I'd pop myself in your body _  
_I'd come into your party, but I'm soft_

**EPOV **_  
_

I must have fallen asleep in my room, because the next thing I knew, warm hands were traveling up my chest, and I felt kisses being scattered across my neck. I opened my eyes to see Kate leaning over me.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" I sat up slightly, rubbing my eyes to wake up.

She smiled and said, "Well, I thought I would come surprise you. I've missed you. Maybe we could try to rekindle that flame we used to have?" She shrugged and made an unsure face. I didn't know what to say, so I just didn't say anything.

She started kissing me, running her hands over my shoulders and around to my back. I kissed her back, almost feeling as if I owed it to her to try again before making my decision. You can't just throw away over two years of a relationship because you have doubts.

I sat up all the way, and my hands started roaming her body. I slid my fingers up her neck, cradling her face and kissing her sweetly.

I could feel myself starting to harden, so obviously I was still attracted to her. _Maybe it would be enough_.

I reached down and tugged at the hem of her shirt. She understood what I wanted, and removed it entirely. Her fingers fumbled with the buttons on my shirt, but she was determined to get them all undone. Once the last button was through the hole, she pushed it off my shoulders, and I helped her remove it the rest of the way.

I grabbed her waist and flipped us around, hovering over her. Her hands worked down my ribs toward my waist, tucking her fingertips into the waistband of my jeans. I started kissing down her neck, which she aided by leaning her head back and arching her chest toward me. I quickly reached under her and unclasped her bra, sliding the straps off her shoulders and down her arms. After tossing it off the bed, she pushed her fingers into my hair, pulling me in for another deep kiss. As our tongues mingled, I propped myself up on one forearm, using my other hand to reach down, unbutton, and remove her pants. I started to unbutton my own pants, but her hands beat me to it, yanking the zipper down and pushing my jeans off my hips and over my ass.

When only underwear remained to hinder us, I settled between her legs and lightly ground my hard-on into her a couple of times. She moaned into my mouth, tightening her grip on my hair.

I felt her reach down and grab my dick, squeezing a bit through the fabric of my boxer-briefs. I groaned, pushing my face into the juncture where her neck and shoulder met. _It had been so long_, _and it felt so good_.

I pushed myself up on my knees and reached down to yank off her underwear. Shedding my own shortly after, I settled back down onto her, pushing her hair off her face, and then I hesitated. _Why was I hesitating?_

I shook my head slightly to clear it, and leaned my head back down to capture her lips in a kiss as I slowly entered her. Because it had been quite a while, I had to go slow or I just might have blown it, pun intended.

_Wait._

What? Wait for what?

_It's not right_.

Dammit, why are you showing up _now_, of all times? Why not like 5 fucking minutes ago, _before_ our clothes were off??

No. No. _No._ I was starting to get soft. I started thrusting a little faster, hoping it might bring me back to life. _No dice_.

"What's the matter?" Kate asked breathlessly as I let out a frustrated groan.

"Shit, I don't know. Just give me a minute." I closed my eyes, trying to think of arousing things.

_Tight sweaters, high heels, Betty Page, Veronica Lake, Bella, wrap dresses---_wait, what?

_Bella? _

Bella.

_Fuck_.

I started to get hard again, but it was for the wrong girl._ Or the right one.  
_

I groaned, pulled out, and pressed my forehead to Kate's, stating, "I can't do this. I can't. _Shit_."

"Why not? Didn't it feel good?" Her face creased in concern.

"Shit yes, it did, but I'm just not in the right frame of mind. I'm not sure what I'm doing anymore, Katie." I sat down on the edge of the bed, resting my elbows on my thighs and cradling my head in my hands. _That was becoming a habit._

I reached down to the floor and snatched up my boxer-briefs, yanking them back on. I grabbed Kate's shirt and handed it to her.

"What exactly are we doing here, Kate?" I looked at her, questioningly.

"Well, I _thought_ we were having sex, but apparently not." She finished pulling her shirt down her torso, letting out an irritated sigh, and reached for her underwear.

"That's not what I meant, and you know it. I meant in regards to _us_." I pointed back and forth between us in supplication. "We hardly see each other anymore, and when we do, it's always strained. What happened to us?"

She looked down sadly, before slumping her shoulders. "I'm not sure. Maybe we have changed? Grown apart?" I could see her eyes starting to brim with tears.

"Oh, come here, baby. Don't cry." I reached over to pull her into a hug. I heard her sniffle quietly a couple times before she pulled her head back to speak.

"I'm not sure what happened, but I do want to try one more time. I think we owe it to each other, ya know?"

_Yeah, I kn__e__w_. But did I really want to spend more time working on a relationship that might not go any further? I wasn't sure.

She tucked her head back under my chin, and we just held each other for a long moment. I took the time to really think about my answer. Was this something I could do? I knew that I liked Bella, at least in some way, and that wasn't particularly fair to Kate, but at the same time, could I be absolutely sure that leaving Kate was what I wanted? _No_.

She did say she wanted to give it another try, maybe get back what we had. I actually owed it to myself, and Bella as well, to make sure that I really knew what I wanted. The only way to do that was to give my relationship one last shot. Hell, I didn't even know if Bella wanted me!

"I think you are right, Katie. We do owe it to each other." I looked away from her, not able to meet her eyes. _Do it_. "But maybe we should take a break. Think about where we want things to go." I heard her gasp slightly, and I turned my gaze back at her.

"Is that what you want?" She no longer looked sad. More like disappointed. I raised my head a bit, contemplating, then decisively nodded it, 'yes'.

"Well then, how can I disagree? If that is what you want, then yes, I will agree to a break. I think I could probably use the time to think as well, actually." She glanced down at her feet, bobbing her head up and down as if to assure herself of that. She finished getting dressed and then just stood there.

"Fine. How about we just back off for a bit, then talk again? Have some breathing room?" She looked at me and nodded. I gestured for her to come closer. I pulled her into a hug and said, "Bye for now, Kate. We'll figure it out." She gave me a squeeze and said goodbye, then turned and left my room.

I waited a few minutes, just sitting on my bed, thinking, then I got dressed and headed downstairs. At the bottom of the landing, I ran into Alice. Literally.

"Edward!" Alice squeaked out when I collided with her. My arms shot out to steady her as she bounced off my chest.

"Whoa, slow down there!" She never stopped moving, practically shaking with excitement. _She was starting to remind me of those coin-operated vibrating mattresses_.

"Oh sorry, Edward. I'm just trying to get things ready for our little soiree tonight, and I just keep finding more to do!" I looked at her, puzzled. Soiree?

"What soiree, Alice?"

"I didn't tell you? Oh come on, sure I did! You know, Jazz and Emmett and Rosalie are coming over, and I'm pretty sure Bella is too. Don't tell me you made plans!"

"Well, no, I don't have plans, but I swear I knew nothing about this." _Damn, I had gotten too good at tuning her out_.

"Oh well, no harm done! Everyone is coming over at seven, so just be around then. We are watching movies, yay! Oh, that reminds me, need to go to the store to get..." She started walking away, reciting her grocery list out loud. I just shook my head at her. _What else could you do?_

*****

_Hands Down_-Dashboard Confessional

_Hands down, this is the best day I can ever remember,_  
_I'll always remember the sound of the stereo,_  
_the dim of the soft lights,_  
_the scent of your hair that you twirled in your fingers and_  
_the time on the clock when we realized_  
_it's so late and the walk that we shared together._  
_The street was wet and the gate was locked_  
_so I jumped it and let you in and you stood at the door_  
_with your hands on my waist and you kissed me,_  
_like you meant it, and I knew that you meant it,_  
_that you meant it, that you meant it,_  
_and I knew, that you meant it, that you meant it. _

It was seven o'clock, and everyone except for Bella had arrived. Alice had put out a spread that would have fed the entire football team, but Emmett would probably clean it up in no time. His eyes lit up when he saw the counters in the kitchen, and I was quickly abandoned.

"Oh, sure Em! Leave your best friend for the food!" _I made sure to be extra dramatic_.

"Ha, well, you know I can't pass up carb and sugar goodness!" He rubbed his stomach, grinning. I just laughed at him.

Alice came prancing in, announcing that it was '_movie time!__'._ She herded us into the TV room, and held up the choices available to us. It was a good thing I knew she had decent taste in movies, or I'd be dreading the choices.

"Okay, we've got Goonies, Holy Grail, or Pretty Woman." The men in the room collectively groaned. "Oh all right! I was kidding about Pretty Woman. Though it is a great movie."

A voice from behind me spoke up, "When I was younger, I wanted to be one of the Knights Who Say 'Ni'. I would also gallop around the house making horse-hoof noises and singing Brave Sir Robin, and Renee wanted to strangle me." My eyes caught her gaze, and I saw a small smile appear on her face.

"Hey, guys! Sorry I'm late. Charlie was entertaining me with a rousing rendition of A Man's Gotta Do. I couldn't possibly pass that hilarity up!"

Alice was sitting on Jasper's lap in the recliner, Rosalie was perched on the couch on one side of me, Emmett sitting on the floor between her knees. That left only one spot for Bella to sit--my other side. She hesitated for a moment before making her way over and settling in. I smiled at her, presumably like an idiot, and she smiled back.

"Now that Miss Bella is here, we can get started! So what have we decided on? Dry British humor, or young Sean Astin?" Alice was once again holding up the cases, raising her eyebrows at all of us.

"Goonies."

"Python."

"Goonies."

"Goonies."

"Python."

"Okay. Well then, _The Goonies_ it is!! One-Eyed Willy, here we come!" Alice clapped her hands like one of those wind-up monkeys with the cymbals, and got up to put the DVD in. Emmett had quite the spread on the floor, and I reached down to grab the Twizzlers. _Original whips, because those strawberry peely things just don't cut it__._

As we were enjoying the movie, I caught Bella's lips moving a few times, but never heard anything out of her. I glanced around the room, noticing that Alice and Jasper had covered themselves up with a blanket. _Oh__,__ hell no__!_ I stared at them until Jasper's eyes traveled to me, and then mouthed, '_Get a room, dickhead_.' He rolled his eyes, nudging Alice, and they stood up and quietly snuck out of the room.

When I went back to watching the movie, they were at the wishing well scene where Mikey makes his dramatic speech. I suddenly heard low talking to my right, and turned to look at Bella. I only caught the end of what she was saying, "..._But right now, they got to do what's right for them. Because it's their time. Their time! Up there! Down here, it's our time. It's our time down here. That's all over the second we ride up Troy's bucket_."

She was quoting _The Goonies_.

Before I could really register this, I heard a low moan come from my other side. My head snapped around to see that Rosalie had moved so that she now was sitting between Emmett's legs on the floor, and his hands had disappeared between her thighs. _Jesus Christ. _The sexual tension was going to kill me tonight.

"As much as I'd enjoy seeing it"_--enter sarcasm here_--"last time I checked, the movie was not _The Goonies Do Dallas_, pornstars."

Rose shot me a dirty look over her shoulder, and stood up, tugging Emmett's hand to drag him out of the room. He protested, trying to grab food along the way, and she huffed, slapped his shoulder, and walked out of the room.

With a grin and a shrug, he said, "What can I say? She wants my jock." Then, he too, disappeared from the room.

Bella just shook her head and laughed, and then went back to watching the movie. We watched for a little while longer, before I broke the silence in the room.

"Were you quoting earlier?" I looked at her, waiting.

She turned back to me and asked, "What? Oh, well yeah. This is one of my favorite movies. This scene here, with the organ, it used to scare me as a kid. _'I can't tell... if it's an A sharp or if it's a B flat! Heh, if you hit the wrong note, we'll all B flat!' _I love that joke." She grinned at me, and I didn't know what to say.

I sat there, staring at her like she'd just materialized into Jesus Christ himself, and I was pretty sure my mouth was hanging open like one of those stone fish in a fountain, but I couldn't bring myself to close it. The things coming out of her mouth astounded me. First, she references classic scenes from _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_, and now she is quoting _Goonies_ lines??

My mind started spinning its wheels, desperately trying to compartmentalize this beguiling girl, and I was half afraid that it was going to short-circuit, because she didn't fit; there was no box for her. Chunks of her fit into different casings--_hell now she sounded like a sausage_. Bad analogy, but it was true. I'd never met someone that I couldn't fit into a pre-ordained cell, a row and column intersect. She absolutely bewildered me.

And I think I kinda liked it.

I was no longer paying attention to what she was saying. My mind was flashing through images of our recent interactions, straight up 'til now, and it dawned on me that I had never had this much fun in my life. Not with my friends, not with my family, not even with my girlfriend. Oh believe me, she and I had plenty of _fun_, but um, not like the fun I had with Bella--carefree, easy, and completely natural _fun_.

Shit, was Bella still talking? _Fucking hell._

Ok, no. She had gone back to watching the movie. Good, I could return to my inner monologue; I still had more to work out there.

I knew Kate and I had been coasting for some time, stuck in the rut of convenience and comfort, but I hadn't cared until recently. Bella's presence was starting to mindfuck me. She brought emotions and thoughts out in me that I never knew existed--and if you'd have asked me a few months ago, had never wanted, nor _needed__,_ them to exist.

Then?

Shit, then I was all giddy with the prospect of finding out what else might happen.

Bella adjusted in her seat so that she was sitting almost sideways, the foot next to me tucked up under her opposite leg. Her knee innocently rested against my thigh, and I began to notice a warmth flowing through me, emanating from that spot. It wasn't the first time it had happened, but it was certainly the first time I had really paid attention and given it thought, especially considering my early-on physical reaction to her.

I've heard people talk about 'sparks' and 'electricity' in movies and books, but I couldn't say that that was it. It was more like the comforting feel of a well-worn T-shirt, or freshly washed sheets--just gives you a warm and fuzzy feeling. _Christ, I am growing ovaries as we speak._ How else was I supposed to describe it? I felt most relaxed and comfortable when Bella and I were hanging out.

Hands down.

So why did that make me anxious?

I turned my body so I was nearly facing her, but I didn't move enough to lose the connection of our legs. It was dark, so I was able to sneakily watch her for a bit while she was engrossed in the movie. Her lips moved with the dialogue almost the entire time. I watched them moving, wondering how they would feel. They looked soft. Nice. Inviting. She sucked the lower one slightly into her mouth, biting down with her teeth.

_Hel-lo, Sex Kitten_.

Before I knew it, I was reaching out to her, putting my thumb to her mouth and pulling her lower lip away from her teeth. She froze, and then turned to stare at me for. _I must be out of my mind_.

I leaned in and kissed her, put my hands up to her face and planted my mouth on hers. She tasted ve-ery nice; slightly of strawberries--_she must have had the peely Twizzlers_--and popcorn butter. _I was right--her lips were soft_.

I think I stunned her though, because for a moment, she didn't move at all. My eyes were closed, so I had no idea what she was doing, but then I felt her hands in my hair, and she was most definitely kissing me back. It felt so damn right, and if angels existed, I had no doubt that they were singing the _Hallelujah Chorus_ right then. Our mouths moved together, pushing and pressing, tasting and exploring. I kinda wanted to crawl inside hers and stay there for a while, because I was enjoying it very much, but then I made a fatal mistake. Instead of just _doing_, I started thinking. And what--or who--did I think of?

_Kate_.

Shit.

It was my turn to freeze. I quickly pulled my face away from Bella's, looked at her with wide eyes and said, "I am _so_ sorry. That was _completely _inappropriate. _Holy shit_. I don't--I don't know what came over me. Oh my god, can we just forget it happened? I don't want...Shit, I mean, I need to talk to Kate." I reached up and ran my fingers through my hair, tugging on it a couple times. _Shit_.

*****

_Only Fooling Myself _-Kate Voegele

_One day I'll turn around,  
I'll see your hand reach out  
I'm only fooling myself, oh  
But maybe when you smile  
It means you'd stay awhile  
Just maybe you'd save me now_

**BPOV**

I loved _The Goonies_. I mean, how could you go wrong with Sean Astin, Corey Feldman, Josh Brolin, and a guy named Sloth? You can't, that's how.

It was right at the part where the pirate ship is breaking through the cavern wall, and--

_I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE,  
_

_  
SOMEBODY'S WATCHIN' ME _

--yes, exactly! Suddenly, a thumb was on my lips, tugging at the lower one. I slowly turned my head to the left, and found Edward staring at me. It was his thumb. Attached to his hand. _Holy fracking hell, Edward's thumb was touching my mouth! _

Before I could fully register the situation, he leaned forward and kissed me. He kissed me. _He kissed me._ His mouth, on mine. His hands, on my face.

_OOH DREAMWEAVER, I BELIEVE YOU CAN GET ME THROUGH THE NIGHT  
_

_  
OOH DREAMWEAVER, I BELIEVE WE CAN REACH THE MORNING LIGHT_

_Oh my god, the soundtrack is in overload!_

Shit. Right. Edward was kissing me. I should kiss back, right? _Yes!_

But he's got a girlfriend. _So??  
_

_  
_You're right. Dammit, if he wants to kiss me, girlfriend be damned! _I'm in!_

I kissed back and then pushed my fingertips into his hair, nearly swooning when I felt the silky strands under them. _Great length for grabbing_.

I pressed my lips to his more forcefully, entirely participating in the kiss. The feeling of his mouth on mine was absolutely the most wonderful thing I had ever experienced in my short life. His lips--which had recently been starring in my daydreams--did not disappoint. They were full and soft, yielding yet demanding. I heard a small groan come from him, and it was all I could do to keep myself from jumping in his lap.

I nearly fell over when he abruptly stopped kissing me and lurched backward. It was almost as if I had burned him. Then, the most dreaded words on earth came out of his mouth, "I am _so_ sorry. That was _completely _inappropriate. _Holy shit_. I don't--I don't know what came over me. Oh my god, can we just forget it happened? I don't want...Shit, I mean, I need to talk to Kate."

Him saying her name, _Kate_, brought me back to reality.

What did we just do? _Oh my god, did I just help him cheat on his girlfriend?_ I am a terrible person. Fix it, fix it _now_.

I composed myself before answering him.

* * *

Sorry for the cliffie, blame AmeryMarie!! She made me do it!! lol

**References**

_The Goonies_-For every Goonies reference (Sean Astin, Corey Feldman, Josh Brolin, Sloth, One- Eyed Willy), please see my profile for the link, if you aren't familiar. One of the best movies EVAH. Well, in my opinion.

_Monty Python and the Holy Grail_-this encompasses Bella's comments about the Knights Who Say Ni, and Brave Sir Robin. Classic, classic British movie from John Cleese and the gang. I adore Monty Python. See my profile for the links.

_A Man's Gotta Do_-Another song from Dr. Horrible's Sing-along blog. Nathan Fillion is hilarious. Link on profile.

_Hallelujah Chorus_-Handel wrote it, apparently. I just know it as the singing angels. Also, the music that accompanies Rob Pattinson every time he gives us a glimpse of the happy trail.

**Mental Soundtrack songs, in order**

_Somebody's Watching Me_**-**Rockwell

_Dreamweaver_-Gary Wright

**A/N**

So...I hope you enjoyed their first kiss. Let me know ;). As always, thank you to AmeryMarie and RedVelvetHeaven for putting up with me.

Recs this week: La canzone della Bella Cigna by philadelphic, Living Backwards by ciaobella27, The Port Angeles Players by WriteOnTime, and of course, don't forget to read Breaking Edward by browniechadowes.

Almost forgot...last chapter, I thanked Jenn, but I aggrievedly forgot to thank Tor, her counterpart on Dancing with Jenn and Tor. She too has been a great cheerleader! :)


	9. Jealousy, Federline, and GnR

**With all the BS running around lately, I feel the need to do this:**

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Playlist for chapter: Lollipop by Mika, It's Raining Men by The Weather Sisters, Dammit by Blink 182, and Dark Blue by Jack's Mannequin

You will all either love me, or hate me. I have combined this chapter and what should have been next chapter to avoid another cliffhanger ;)

* * *

**Chapter 9-Jealousy, Federlines, and GnR  
**

_Lollipop_-Mika

_I was walking with my mama one day  
When she warned me what people say  
Live your life until love is found  
Or love's gonna get you down._

_Sing it!  
Sucking too hard on your lollipop  
Love's gonna get you down_

**BPOV  
**

"You are right. That shouldn't have happened. You've got a girlfriend, and I…" I could feel a bit of hysteria coming through my voice, so I paused for a moment to collect myself, "—I need to go."

"Bella, you don't have to go. Look, I'm so—"

I didn't let him finish. He didn't want me; he didn't mean to kiss me. _No matter how right it felt_. I didn't need to hear from him how wrong it was, _again_.

"Don't worry about it, Edward." I attempted a smile. _Too bad he can tell your real smiles from the forced ones_. Shut up, I'm conveniently forgetting that fact.

"Excuse me, I'm sorry. I think I need to go." What I didn't say was that I needed to go before I started crying. _That was not something I needed him to see._

Edward started to get up from the couch, and I could see a protest coming on. I just smiled again, told him all was fine—_liar_—and asked him to tell Alice I had left. _I left it up to him whether he told her _why_ I went home._

After I exited the front door, I took a deep breath before heading for my truck. I had been planning on spending the night there, but those plans were shot, obviously. There was no way I could stay at the house after what just happened.

Edward kissing me was something I had thought about for some time now; though I never in a million years thought it would happen while he was still dating Kate, if it were to ever happen at all. Ever since I realized that I was falling for Edward, I had allowed myself momentary daydreams about what it might be like to be with him. What he said when our lips separated was more than I could handle, though. I already knew that he and I were not likely to ever be together, but him commenting on how wrong it was…well, let's just say that I died a little inside.

_DON'T DO ME LIKE THAT_

_DON'T DO ME LIKE THAT_

_SOMEDAY I'LL NEED YA BABY_

_DON'T DO ME LIKE THAT_

Preachin' to the choir, soundtrack.

As soon as I got home, I went straight to bed. Thankfully, Charlie was already asleep, so I didn't need to explain why I was back at home when he knew I was supposed to stay at the Cullens'. _Can you say awk-ward?_ _'Oh yeah, Dad, you know_ _my friend Alice? Yeah, well her cousin Edward kissed me. Best part is, he has a girlfriend!_ _Yeah, I know, great stuff, right?'_ No thank you! Charlie would be over there with his shotgun faster than you could say 'castration'.

I slept fitfully that night. Edward and his damn lips were in the spotlight, but each dream ended with me hearing the dreaded words he spoke on the couch.

_"Completely inappropriate."_

_"Forget it happened."_

And the pièce de résistance..._"I don't want."_

*****

When I woke up in the morning, I made sure to call Alice right away to explain my sudden disappearance the night before.

She answered her phone, and I greeted her with, "Hey Ali. Not that you noticed because you were busy sucking Jasper's tonsils, but I wanted to apologize for taking off last night. I was suddenly not feeling very well."

"Oh don't worry about it Bella! Edward filled me in when I came to check on you." _Oh did he?_

"Oh, yeah? What did he say?" _This oughta be good._

"Oh, he just said that you must have had too many sweets or too much butter on your popcorn or something, because you weren't feeling well. Oh! And, this will be good news to hear for you! He told me that he and Kate are 'on a break'! He said that they are taking time to figure out what they really want, or something. I couldn't imagine having to do that with Jasper, like, ever. I mean, if you have that many doubts, obviously something isn't right, right? I just told him it was about damn time. I mean, seriously, he has way more chemistry with y—"

I had to stop her right there. "Alice, I don't think that there is as much chemistry as you seem to think. Of course I find him attractive, but I can almost guarantee that he does not reciprocate those thoughts to me. Also, we just would never work. "

"Oh come on Bella, you know that I'm usually spot-on with my intuitions! Why in the world do you think you guys would never work? That makes no sense."

"Well, for one, there is a gaping difference in the pretty factor. Ridiculously good looking people, like Edward, tend to gravitate to other ridiculously good-looking people, unlike me. Also, he is Mr. Popular, Richie Rich, Big Man on Campus. Me? I'm a nobody, just the police Chief's daughter."

"Whatever, Bella. I know you don't really believe all that crap. But go ahead, keep kidding yourself. Did you even hear the first part of what I said before? Edward and Kate are taking a break? Hello?" _Damn, I _did_ miss that the first time! _

"A break, huh? When did this happen?" _Please say yesterday morning, please, please, please._

"Um, well she came over in the morning, and didn't stay very long. I'm guessing it happened then, because he said 'earlier' in the day." _Success! It was before the kiss!_ Slow down there, Tonto. Doesn't mean a damn thing. He still said what we did was wrong.

But that at least takes a load off my mind, since I wasn't really the 'other woman' last night then. But still, a break? What exactly were the rules of this break? The only example of a 'break' I could think of involved Ross and Rachel, and a running joke for the last couple years of Friends. I couldn't exactly ask Alice for clarification, though. For some reason, I didn't feel like telling her about the kiss yet. Edward didn't, so obviously he didn't want her to know. Maybe I could bring it up to Edward Monday in class. _Yeah, and monkeys might fly out of your butt! _Is there any way to turn off your subconscious?

"Well, I'm not sure what you want me to say, Alice. I hope they figure out what they want to do. That can't be easy." _Nice, very smooth._ Well I try.

"Bella Swan, you are hopeless!!" Alice groaned into the phone. If only she knew how much of a happy dance I was doing on the _inside_.

I talked to her for another ten minutes or so, then we hung up because we both had homework to get done before class the next day.

After doing my schoolwork, I went downstairs for some dinner. Charlie was down there, making some sandwiches. I took my chances with whatever he made, because it did look edible.

"Hey, Dad."

He turned around, smiled, and said, "Hey Bells! Want some dinner?"

"Um, sure. It actually looks quite tasty. Sue make it for you?" I nudged him in the ribs to show that I was teasing. _But not really_.

"Actually, no. I made them. Though I have to admit, she has helped me out with learning my way around the kitchen." I breathed a sigh of relief and started to chow down.

"So Bells, I was doing a little searching on YouTube today. You will never guess what I found! Someone took that song 'Jizz in My Pants' and set it to match up with movie scenes from that popular movie out right now; I forget the name. Anyway, it was so funny! I could show you if you want?" _Ah, no thanks Charlie. You lost me at 'jizz'. _

"Dad, please don't ever say the word 'jizz' in my presence again. Never, ever again. Beyond that though, yes, I've seen it, and yes, it is pretty funny. There are highly creative people on the internet these days. But I refuse to watch a video with my father that uses the word 'jizz'." I stopped for a moment to shudder. Just me using that word in front of Charlie was cringe-inducing.

"Thank you for dinner, and if you'll excuse me, I'm going to bed. Goodnight." I gave him a hug, awkward as it was, and headed up the stairs after he laughed at me for a solid minute. _I shouldn't have attempted the hug_.

I had happier dreams that night. Edward was in them again, as always, only this time, I dreamed that he loved me. _That was when I knew I was dreaming, because in real life, that was never gonna happen_.

*****

_It's Raining Men_-The Weather Girls

_It's Raining Men! Hallelujah!_

_It's Raining Men! Amen!  
I'm gonna go out to run and let myself get  
Absolutely soaking wet!  
It's Raining Men! Hallelujah!  
It's Raining Men! Every Specimen!  
Tall, blonde, dark, and lean  
Rough and tough and strong and mean_

The next morning at school, Alice caught up with me at my truck. That was unusual, because normally I had to find her and Jasper making out near her Lamborghini and whip out the crowbar to pry them apart. I was immediately suspicious.

"Morning, Ali. To what do I owe the pleasure?" I grinned at her, but she gave me an obviously forced smile in return. _I should know, I practically invented the forced smile_.

"Hey, Bella! No reason, I just wanted to come and meet you here, isn't that okay?" _She was soooo hiding something._

"Spit it out Alice. I know you can't keep things in for long. What's up?"

She looked at me quizzically for a moment, then sighed in resignation. "I just wanted to get to you first, before—"

My focus was diverted when I heard a loud laugh across the lawn, and my eyes automatically searched out the source. It was Kate. Laughing at Edward. Who was smiling back at her. And, as I watched, _put his arm around her_.

I dropped my books and inhaled sharply through my nose. _I thought they were on a break??_

Alice followed my gaze, and groaned when she saw the scene. "Dammit, that is what I wanted to talk to you about. I talked to Edward last night, and he seemed kind of upset. He wouldn't tell me what was wrong, but it was shortly after I talked to you on the phone. He said that he had done enough thinking, and was going to call Kate. I tried to tell him to give it more time, but he just wouldn't listen. I told him that he was being stupid and making the wrong decision, but he just said that his decision was made for him, and there was no sense in waiting for things that were never going to happen. I swear, boys are more confusing than Trig! They say that girls are the more baffling sex, but he is one very good example of that being pure fiction."

She kept babbling on, going off on her usual tangents, but I can't say that I could repeat any of what she said. I was still shocked that Edward was back with Kate, and so soon. What I could remember of what she said, though, had me wondering what he meant when he said his decision had been made for him. And what exactly had he been waiting for that would never happen? _Confusing indeed_.

I more or less floated through the rest of the day, until I got to lunch. I had no idea how I was going to handle seeing Edward, after all that had happened this weekend. What would I say? What would he say? Would I hold back the urge to punch him in the face, or the opposite but just as strong urge to kiss him again?

_Kiss him, kiss him! _Would you _shut up_?? Chrissakes, I do not need your 'help' right now.

I purposely sat at the opposite end of the table from him at lunch, steering clear of any conversation he was participating in. I sat waiting until he had left already, pretending to be absorbed in my book, before I gathered my things to go to Bio.

Approaching the door to the classroom, my eyes wandered around the hall. My steps stuttered a bit when I saw Kate and Edward standing near the open doorway, talking. I heard someone approach me from the right, but didn't turn to see who it was. I heard the person start to speak, it was a boy, and my name was thrown in there, so I thought I'd better see what he wanted.

I turned to see Mike smiling at me expectantly. _Huh?_ Had he asked me something?

"Oh, hey Mike. I'm sorry, did you ask me something?" My eyes kept flickering in Edward's direction, completely without my permission, but he was a visual magnet, and I was powerless against his pull.

Mike repeated his question for me, "I was wondering if you were busy Friday night? Maybe we could go see a movie or something?" He smiled sheepishly, tucking his hands into his pockets.

The world seemed to tilt on its axis a bit, grinding everything to a halt. It was as if every single person in the hallway had stopped to stare at me, each pair of eyes watching, waiting for my answer. My heart started beating faster, my hands got sweaty. The only two people that weren't seemingly watching me were Kate and Edward. Instead, I was watching them. Waiting, as if for a sign.

Well, I got one.

He leaned in and gave her a kiss. He kissed her. The same mouth that had been on mine not even forty-eight hours earlier. It didn't look as spectacular as our kiss had been, but it was still a kiss.

Suddenly all the people started moving again in the hall. It was as if no time had passed. Edward was walking toward me, slightly smiling, eyes darting between Mike's patiently waiting face and mine. In that instant, I decided that I would take my chances on Mike. Edward had told Alice that his decision had been made for him, and there was no sense waiting for things that might never happen. Well, I now knew exactly what he meant.

I turned to Mike and said, "Sure, Mike. Pick me up at seven?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I thought saw Edward's jaw drop. He quickly recovered however, so I can't be sure I didn't just imagine it.

Mike graced me with the biggest grin I had ever been witness to, and quickly agreed. _Well at least one person is happy in this equation_.

I smiled back and entered the classroom. I did notice that Edward hung back a minute, watching me walk away. He finally joined me at the lab table right before the final bell rang. We worked mostly in silence the entire hour, and the rest of the week was more of the same. There was a tension in the air that could have been sliced clean through with a dull knife, though neither of us brought it up.

When Friday rolled around, I was ready for my date with Mike. After a week of seeing Edward with Kate again, I had given myself a pep talk. He obviously had what he wanted, why couldn't I have something too? Mike wasn't a bad guy; in fact, he was very nice. I kind of came to the realization that I hadn't dated for the two years I had been in Forks because I had been waiting. Waiting for someone that would never belong to me. Well, enough was enough. I was going to go get my happily ever after, even if it meant I had to go through a few jokers to get to my knight.

Mike picked me up promptly at seven, and even survived the Swanish Inquisition. _So far, so good_.

We went to see a movie, and then went for ice cream afterward. It was nice. Nothing earth-shattering. Just nice. But nice was good, right? It wasn't soundtrack-activating, but that was okay too. You can't always have that kind of connection with someone. _Keep telling yourself that_. Thank you, I will.

The night ended with a promise of another date the next week. I may or may not have been looking forward to it. Hadn't decided yet.

*****

When I went back to school Monday, Edward purposely sat next to me at lunch. I ignored him still. That didn't deter him, though.

"So, Mike Newton, huh?"

"Yes, Edward. Mike Newton. Is that a problem?"

"Well, I guess not. I just can't really see you with him." I held back the snort that threatened to escape.

"Oh, is that right? Well, who do you see me with, then?" I crossed my arms and raised my eyebrow—_yes, just the one_—waiting for his answer.

His face flushed red a bit, and he opened and closed his mouth a few times, but no sound came out. _Ha, now he knows how I feel around him!_

_I AM VINDICATED, _

_I AM SELFISH, _

_I AM WRONG_

I'm not wrong. I'm not. Just let me have this moment.

He managed to squeak out, "I don't know, no one in particular, I guess. Alice just mentioned that you told her you had been avoiding him for two years, and then you suddenly go out with him? I guess I am just trying to figure out the 'why'."

I let out an exasperated sigh. "Edward, the 'why' shouldn't matter to you. Why do you care? Are you jealous or something? And if that's the case, you know what? You have no right to be. Last I checked, you were with Kate." From the look on his face, you'd think that I hit the nail on the head. His eyes flashed up to mine briefly in shock before he dropped them again. _You go girl!_ Oh please, stop doing the cabbage patch and repeating phrases from a decade ago.

_I AM RIGHT,_

_I SWEAR I'M RIGHT,_

_SWEAR I KNEW IT ALL ALONG_

You knew nothing, soundtrack. I'm sure he was just embarrassed that he got called out. Nothing more.

He finally answered, "You're right, Bella. It shouldn't matter. I'm sorry. I'm glad that you are happy, if that's what you are." _Of course we are happy_. Right? _Um, right_.

*****

It was the middle of October, and Halloween was coming up. Mike and I had gone on a few more dates, so I suppose you could consider him my boyfriend, if we needed to put a label on it. There were never the extreme reactions that I had around Edward; no sparks, no music, but it was nice. Mike was nice. A bit boring, but nice.

He had decided that we needed to do a couple's costume for his friend Tyler's Halloween party. I wasn't too keen on the idea, but agreed to go look at some with him. I was not feeling optimistic about the endeavor, however. I didn't even really want to go to the party, honestly. I knew that my friends would be there, and it was easier to avoid Edward when I wasn't in the same vicinity voluntarily. I had a hard enough time evading him when I went to their house to see Alice.

We drove into Port Angeles on a Saturday, and headed to the costume shop. It was one of those places that held year-round costumes, not just for Halloween. We saw many holidays represented; Santa and elves for Christmas, pilgrims and Indians for Thanksgiving, Cupid for Valentine's Day. There was even a giant Easter bunny costume.

The saleslady led us back to the Halloween section, where Mike zeroed in on the racks that held paired-up costumes. He held out numerous sets, and even though I crinkled my nose at all of them, he wanted to try them on. I told him go ahead, but I was not even about to step foot into any of those disasters.

The first one he tried on was a strip of bacon. Yes, bacon. He expected me to be eggs. Sunny-side up, if you care to know. I just stared at him. Took him a minute, but he figured out that a blank stare meant 'no'. _Way to put forth an effort, Bella!_ I rolled my eyes at myself.

He emerged again wearing a white undershirt, baggy sweatpants with one leg pulled up over his calf, and a thick, silver necklace. I looked at him, absolutely stumped.

"Kevin Federline!? Yeah?? Here, you can be Britney." He tried to hand me a Catholic schoolgirl uniform, explaining that I could put my hair in two braids. _Ah, no, I don't think so._ I nearly decked him, but resisted.

"There is no way in hell I am wearing that, Mike. Next." He groaned and went back into the dressing room.

The next time he emerged, he was wearing a hot dog costume. Just the dog. Guess what he tried to give to me? Yep, the bun. I just shook my head. This was not going to work.

"Mike, we are not going to find anything here that I will agree to. Can we just plan our own costumes? I'm just no good at the whole cutesy couple thing. Sorry." He looked a little crestfallen at my admission, but he bounced back.

"Yeah, sure Bella, no problem! We can do whatever you want." He smiled brightly at me. _God love him. He's cute, but he's no Edward._ Shut it. _Just stating a truth, honey._

*****

_Dammit_-Blink 182

_And maybe  
I'll see you  
at a movie  
sneak preview  
You'll show up  
and walk by  
on the arm  
of that guy  
And I'll smile  
and you'll wave  
we'll pretend  
it's okay_

**EPOV**

I am _such_ a fuck-up.

I do believe that I have royally screwed things up with Bella. What the hell made me kiss her?? Kate and I were taking a 'thinking' break, not a 'let's try out other people' break. Fuck, fuck, _fuck_. Now Bella thinks I'm a cheating asshole, I'm sure, since there was no way for her to know what Kate and I discussed that morning.

I mean, not like it mattered, since she said it shouldn't have happened, right? So what the fuck was I doing, thinking there might be something there? As amazing as the kiss between us was, it wouldn't make a bit of difference if she didn't want me.

I sat on the couch a little while longer, blankly staring at the blue TV screen. When Alice came back downstairs a bit later and asked where Bella went, I gave her some bullshit about Bella not feeling well. What the hell was I supposed to say? _'Well, Alice, I thought it would be a brilliant idea to kiss her. Now she hates me.' _For some reason, I didn't think that would go over well.

I excused myself and went to bed, just willing the sleep to take me. I didn't really want to think about what had happened any further. It all led back to the same conclusion: Bella didn't want me.

The next morning, I hid in my room until after lunchtime. I stayed under the covers, moping. When I got the urge to start playing Morrissey on repeat, though, I got my ass out of bed.

After a long, hot shower, I dragged my feet down the stairs. _Shit, Emmett was right.__I may as well buy some damn black eyeliner._

I walked past the kitchen, and Alice's voice made me pause. She was on the phone, and she was talking to Bella from the sound of it.

"...you think you guys would never work?"

My heart shattered when I heard that. I didn't even pay attention to the rest of what she said; that was all I needed to hear. I had no doubt that she was referring to Bella and I. At that rate, I may as well go call Kate up and tell her I made a mistake. Maybe we could get back what we had. Hell, if it hadn't been for Bella, I probably would have never really noticed anything was wrong with my relationship in the first place. And truthfully, I did still have some amount of feelings for Kate. How could I not?

I resurfaced from my downward spiral enough to register Alice hanging up with Bella. She came around the corner, and I practically accosted her.

"So I think I am going to call Kate and tell her that I am done thinking."

"What? Why? You've barely even had a whole day to consider your options! I think you are making a huge mistake, Edward. Can you honestly tell me that the only one you want to be with is Kate? There is absolutely _no_ other girl you'd rather date??"

"Alice, just stop. I know what you are insinuating, but I think that it is pretty clear _that_ door is closed. She obviously doesn't want me, so why the hell am I wasting time waiting for something that will never happen? I just...arrrgh!" I groaned and rubbed my forehead. "Look, it sounds like my decision has already been made for me, so if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go call my girlfriend."

She glared at me, and stalked deliberately forward, jabbing me in the chest with her index finger, "OH EM GEE, you two are _so_ stupid! I promised I wouldn't meddle, but one day you'll see, Edward, one day you will both pull your heads out of your asses!" Letting out an exasperated huff, she spun around on her heel and stormed away, leaving me flustered. I had no idea what she meant. And my chest hurt. Frowning after Alice, I rubbed at the spot she had poked, and went upstairs to call Kate.

*****

The next day at school, Bella was pretty much freezing me out. Honestly, it kind of made things easier. Not that I didn't want to talk to her, I just didn't know what to say.

I was a bit surprised when I heard her accept a date from Mike Newton on Monday, and was further perplexed when I asked Alice what the deal was and she informed me that Bella had been shooting Mike down for two years, only to accept his request now.

The rest of the week passed in much the same fashion as that first day. Cordiality was the rule, and we stuck to school-related topics in Bio. It sucked ass. Every time I felt the urge to tease her or just make smalltalk, I thought of her reaction after our kiss. It was sobering, and did the trick to remind me to keep my distance. It was obvious that she was doing the same thing.

When we went back to school the Monday after Bella's date with Mike, I lost my sanity completely and sat next to her at lunch. Further proof of my momentary lapse in judgment, I actually dared to bring up her date, and insinuated that I thought she shouldn't be with him. _Okay, fine, I _didn't_ think that she should. But I couldn't admit who I'd prefer her to be with_--me.

Then she questioned my concern, citing jealousy as the underlying reason.

I was stunned. How do I respond to that? I couldn't exactly say '_yeah, Bella, I am. I am insanely jealous and don't want Mike Newton to lay a hand on you.' _That wouldn't work out too well. I mean, I didn't have a problem with Mike in theory, really. He seemed like a nice guy, I guess. I just didn't want anybody to have Bella at all if I couldn't have her. _It's too bad she doesn't want _you.

The only thing I could do was to agree with her. I didn't lie though, not really. I wanted her to be happy. I'd just prefer it if she would let _me_ make her happy.

*****

**BPOV  
**

The morning of the Halloween party, I panicked. I knew there was no way I'd be able to go to this thing with Mike and be comfortable. Mainly, because of having to be with him at the same time as being around Edward. In school, it was easy. I made sure Mike knew that I wasn't big on PDA, and he went along with it. I did like Mike; he was a great boyfriend, in a puppy dog kind of way. _But he wasn't Edward_. Right. He wasn't Edward.

I called Mike early and told him that I wasn't feeling well, and wouldn't be able to go to the party. I felt slightly bad, but not bad enough to change my mind. Parties just weren't me, especially after my last showing at Alice's house. I never did find out the full story of that night, and something told me that I really didn't want to know.

I sat on the couch and watched the Back to the Future trilogy to pass the time. I've always wanted a Delorean. And a hoverboard.

As soon as Doc's flying train pulled out of the station, I flipped off the TV and dropped my head back onto the couch arm. What a waste of a night. However, it probably beat whatever embarrassment I would have suffered at Tyler's. I had no doubt that Alice would fill me in completely the next day, after I got a good reaming for skipping out on the party, of course. I went to sleep, somewhat happily and somewhat sadly, snuggling my pillow. _I may or may not have been pretending it was Edward. __Don't judge._

*****

I was awakened Sunday morning by none other than Alice. _The Lollipop Guild_ blared across my room from the desk, making me get up and out of bed in order to answer it. _I can read her like a damn gossip magazine._

"Morning, Alice."

"Oh, don't you 'good morning, Alice' me, Bella Swan! You totes bailed last night! How could you?! I had to deal with not only Emmett and Rosalie at each other all night, as usual, but also Edward The Moody decided to rear his ugly head. He was in a piss-ass mood all night, and I would be shocked if it had nothing to do with your disappearing act."

"Oh, come off it, Alice. I'm sure Edward's mood had absolutely nothing to do with me, and Emmett and Rosalie are always at each other; that's how they roll. What did everyone end up going as?" That was another reason I was glad I didn't go...I never did come up with a costume.

"Well, Emmett went as Axl Rose, complete with the long, blond wig with a bandanna and everything, and Rose went as Slash. She actually looked pretty hot with the black, curly hair and top hat. I thought it was pretty ingenious, actually. Axl and Slash are such a classic case of a love-hate relationship, but when they are together, brilliance emerges. Very fitting for Em and Rose. Jasper and I went as Rhett Butler and Scarlett O'Hara, of course. I could not pass up the Southern belle dress at the costume shop!" I barely heard the last thing she said, because I was still laughing over Emmett and Rosalie's costumes. Now _that_ I was sorry to have missed.

After I finished wiping the tears from my eyes, I realized that she didn't mention Edward and Kate's costumes. "So didn't Edward and Kate dress up?"

"Oh, well, Edward was James Dean... He had his hair in that half-hearted pompadour thing, well as much as he could get it to stay like that anyway, and a tight, white t-shirt with cuffed jeans and shit-kicking boots. He even had the motorcycle jacket on. You'd have loved it, by the way. But, it was pretty much the only thing we could convince him to wear, really. He was not exactly thrilled to be wearing a couple's costume. Kate wore a fifties poodle skirt and sweater with a neckerchief and everything. It was actually really cute. I'd have rocked it back in the day." _I cannot lie and say I didn't care that I missed Edward in that get-up._ So instead, I just didn't comment on it.

"Well, it sounds like I missed a good time. But really, Ali, I just... I didn't really feel like going. Edward and I... We are not exactly friendly right now. It would have been awkward, at best. Besides, I don't think I could have handled another party. I barely survived the last one."

"Whatever, Bella. I'm going to tell you the same thing I told Edward: one day, you will both pull your heads out of your asses. And I will be there with bells and whistles on!"

"Thanks for that vote of confidence, Alice, no matter how off-base you are. I won't hold it against you." I heard her snort and laugh humorlessly. "I have to get going though. I have tons of homework to do, which I didn't even glimpse last night due to my marathon of Michael J. Fox and Christopher Lloyd."

"Ooh, Back to the Future, nice choice! Okay, Bella. I have homework too. I'll see you at school tomorrow, yeah?"

I agreed, and we hung up. I set my mind to the fascinating worlds of Trig and World History, trying to complete my assignments for Monday. Images of Edward mashed up with James Dean kept interrupting my study time intermittently..._I was not complaining_.

*****

_Dark Blue_-Jack's Mannequin

_And this flood, this flood  
Is slowly rising up, swallowing the ground  
Beneath my feet, tell me  
How anybody thinks under this condition_

_So, I'll swim, I'll swim  
As the water rises up, sun is sinking down  
And now all I can see are the planets in a row  
Suggesting it's best that I slow down  
This night's a perfect shade of_

_Dark blue, dark blue, have you  
Ever been alone in a crowded room?  
Well, I'm here with you, I said  
The world could be burning and burning down_

**EPOV**

She didn't come. I only went to that stupid party in hopes that I would get to see her outside of school. I desperately wanted some kind of interaction, dialogue of some sort. I craved it. I was at the point that I no longer cared if she wanted me or not. I still needed her in my life, some how. The last month was by far the most difficult four weeks of my life. I had to pretend to be happy with Kate, while also disguising my incessant yearning for Bella. It wasn't something I could turn off. I had tried, lord how I tried! But it was pointless. Ever since I had kissed Bella, something in me was awakened, and I could not put it back to rest. _Not that I really wanted to_. It would have made my life a lot easier if I could, though.

The only saving grace of the whole night was Emmett and Rosalie. They were dressed as the ultimate, fucked-up couple, Axl and Slash. Emmett was hilarious as Axl Rose, and Rosalie was pretty hot as Slash. Only she could make a man's costume sexy. But the way Emmett would start playing _I Used to Love Her_ on his guitar every time Rose started bitching was classic.

I still had no idea how Kate and Alice had gotten me to dress up for it. I think Alice had whispered _'Bella will be there'_ in my ear a few times, causing me to zone out and eventually agree with whatever they were saying. _Little devil voo-doo woman_.

The next morning, laying in my bed, I came to a realization. I had to stop the bullshit charade. I couldn't keep faking it with Kate. Even though I wouldn't have Bella, I couldn't lie to myself any longer. I could at least be her friend, right? That would keep her in my life in some capacity. I knew she was with Mike, but he was harmless. He wouldn't stop me from being her friend. Right? _Right._

With that settled, I called Kate and asked her to come over, telling her that we needed to talk. _Yes, I used the dreaded words._ There's never really a good way to tell someone you are breaking up with them, honestly.

When Kate arrived, I brought her up to my room. She got settled on the bed, and asked, "So, what's up?" She smiled lightly at me, obviously expecting something bad. I decided the best way to do this was to make it quick, like ripping off a band-aid. I started speaking to my feet at first, afraid of how she would react.

"Katie, honey, I can't do this anymore. I tried, I really did, but I just can't. There…there is someone else, though she doesn't really know it. Fuck. You know what? I can't lie to you. I kissed this girl that weekend we decided to take our break, but the next day I found out that she didn't think we would ever work. I'm telling you this because I need you to know that I am not breaking up with you _for_ her, so please don't think that. I just can't fake it any longer, and I'm really sorry, truly." I looked up at her, wincing already, bracing myself for her reaction. What I saw shocked the shit out of me. She was crying, but they didn't seem to be tears of anger.

I whispered, "Kate? Are you going to say anything?" I waited for her response.

She sniffed a couple times before looking up at me, "Edward, to be honest, I can't say how glad I am that you just said that. I have been faking it too. I thought it was the best thing to do, the right thing, at the time. But I now know it isn't. I think I'm in love with someone else." _Well, isn't that an interesting turn of events._

"Oh, really? Who is he? Does he know?" I should have been mad. I should have. But I wasn't. I only felt relief.

"Well, his name is Garrett. He's a sophomore. I've been hanging out with him for a while now, and, well... Edward, there is no easy way to say this. Please don't feel bad about kissing this girl... Shit. How do I put this... Ah, fuck it--I slept with Garrett." _Whoa, hey now, what?_ I blinked heavily and raised my eyebrows at her, and everything started pouring out of her in a frantic rush.

"Same weekend. It just happened. It felt so right, but I felt _so_ guilty the past month. When you called me that day to say you thought we made a mistake, I didn't know what to say, so I just agreed. I know now that I shouldn't have, but it was so easy to lapse back into what we had! I'm so, so sorry, Edward. But Garrett, well, I really like him, a lot. I think I might even love him. He has told me that he loves me, but he knew my situation when we started talking. You have to believe me, I never went into it with an intent to enter into anything with him!" She had started crying again, so I sat down next to her and wrapped my arms around her, shushing her gently.

"Kate, relax. I'm not mad. Honestly? I'm a bit relieved. You just let me off the hook for my kiss." I nudged her chin a bit, and she coughed out a short laugh at my dig of her. "Really though, it sounds like you might be happy with him. That is all that matters."

"I think I can be, Edward. I'm starting to realize that everything my parents taught me about being 'higher in society' making you better than others is just a bunch of bullshit. I feel terrible about the way that I treated Emmett for so long, especially because he's your best friend. Garrett isn't exactly in our 'social circle', and he's really made me see that money has nothing to do with a person's worth." I smiled, because I knew exactly what she meant, and was glad that she finally figured that out.

"Kate, you cannot know how glad I am to hear that. This guy sounds great, and I am very happy you found him. Even if it was a bit on the scandalous side." I grinned at her, giving her one last squeeze. She laughed at me in response.

"Well, let me just say that this girl is absolutely clueless for not wanting you. I'm glad I had you for the time that I did, and any girl would be extremely lucky to have you."

"Thanks Kate." I smiled again, and we kissed each other on the cheek, knowing that it was 'goodbye'. But neither one of us was sad to see the end. On the contrary, we were both looking forward to the future.

I had a girl to woo.

* * *

**References**

Ross and Rachel- From the TV show Friends, when they go on a break and Ross sleeps with another woman. The rest of the show had Ross saying "We were on a break!" everytime Rachel brought it up. Hilarity ensued.

Jizz in My Pants- The Lonely Island classic. The video Charlie refers to is the Edward Cullen/Twilight one that has made its rounds on YouTube. I laugh my pants off.

Swanish Inquisition- play on the Spanish Inquisition. Charlie gave Mike the third degree, all while keeping his hand on his rifle that was sitting on the table.

DeLorean, hoverboard- awesome flying car from Back to the Future (Well, Doc made it fly anyway.), and kind of a hovering skateboard without wheels. If you have not seen Back to the Future, get thee to a video store!

Axl Rose and Slash- Singer/Guitarist duo from Guns N Roses. I have a sneaking suspicion they never really liked each other. The interview in Playboy agreed with me. But they made some kick-ass music.

**Mental soundtrack, in order**

_Don't Do Me Like That_-Tom Petty

_Vindicated_-Dashboard Confessional

**All links for music in this chapter is on my profile.**

**A/N **

Wow. I cannot express my thanks enough to you readers. I have almost reached 400 reviews, which is insane. I was hoping for maybe 10 per chapter, never even thought I could get 45 on average!! You make me smile when I read your kind words. I know last chapter had a polarizing effect, but I can't apologize for it. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. We don't have many left, maybe 4-5. Please leave some love if you would be so kind.

Recs: **Elemental** by TallulahBelle. It is amazing. Go read it. For real. **Seeing Their Future** by kikikinz. Again, great stuff. **Untouchable** by The Romanticidal Edwardian, and **Alton House** by velvetglo.

And, last but not least, I have entered in NaughtyHeels 80s music one-shot contest. It is anonymous, so I can't tell you which one is mine, and I am up against some great authors, but go read the entries and vote October 6th!

Thank you AmeryMarie and RedVelvetHeaven for being rockstars. I couldn't do any of this without you.

I am going to be uploading my fic to Twilighted, and I'd like to catch up there before posting here again, so it might be a couple weeks til the next chapter!


	10. Confessions, Heart, and Swiftness

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**I know you all want to get to Edward's wooing, but this must come first. It's short, but sweet. Enjoy.**

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* * *

  
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Chapter 10- Confessions, Heart, and Swiftness

_Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps_-Cake

_If you can't make your mind up,  
We'll never get started.  
And I don't wanna wind up  
Being parted, broken-hearted.  
So if you really love me,  
Say yes.  
But if you don't, dear, confess.  
And please don't tell me  
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps_

**BPOV**

I could not concentrate on my schoolwork at all that afternoon. I ended up calling Alice back to ask her to come over and keep me company. We hadn't been hanging out as much since I had started dating Mike, and I'm sure that was in no small part because she thought I was being an idiot for dating him. I couldn't really disagree with her though. I knew that I was just using Mike as a substitute for Edward… and yes, I knew it was wrong. Ordinarily, I'd have been horrified at what I was doing. Right then though, I felt like being the selfish person, doing something just for me for once. _I wasn't an oblivious idiot, just an idiot._

While waiting for Alice to show up, I let my mind wander. It wandered to, who else, Edward. Specifically, Edward's eyes—brilliant green eyes that trapped you.

_GREEN EYES, YEAH THE SPOTLIGHT SURROUNDS YOU_

_AND HOW COULD, ANYBODY DENY YOU_

Truer words were never spoken. How could anybody deny him, indeed. _I was nearing the point where I would never deny him_.

His mouth—the lush, soft lips that had kissed me so sweetly. _Yeah, and then viciously ripped themselves away while uttering 'no' and 'wrong', shattering your heart into a million pieces._

Right. How could I ever forget that part? Thank you for reminding me. _You are quite welcome_. I hate you.

I heard the roar of an engine whipping into the driveway, and sat up in time to see Alice stepping out of the lemony vehicle and skipping up to the front door. I darted down the stairs to let her in before she could incessantly ring the doorbell until someone opened it. That was one mistake I had learned my lesson from. _Never, ever keep Alice waiting_.

"Hello, my darling Bella! I feel like we haven't hung out in _ages_! So, what's on the agenda? Movie? Facials? Mani-pedis?" I would never understand how she kept up that interminable energy.

"Um, well, Ali, could we just maybe talk? I feel like talking, I think." _There __were__ some things she __needed__ to know, and __then was__ as good a time as any_.

"Sure! I am great at talking!" _Understatement of the millennium._

I poked my head into the living room to let Charlie know that Alice was over, and that we would be upstairs hanging out. I knew he wouldn't mind, though, because he loved having Alice around. He was watching old TRL re-runs on MTV, and I made a hasty retreat before I was treated to his imitation of the dance from _Bye Bye Bye_. _Justin Timberlake, he was not._

Once we were seated on my bed, I flopped back on the pillow and let out a huge sigh. _That should get her attention_.

"Aw, what's the matter?" _Right on cue_.

"Ali, I think I am ready to discuss the pink elephant in the room. I can't take it anymore."

"You mean the pink elephant named Edward? I like to imagine him wearing a tutu and toe shoes, doing pirouettes around and around. Takes him down a few notches, ya know?" I couldn't help but start laughing uncontrollably at that image, and by the time I was able to speak again, I had to wipe the tears from my eyes.

"Well, that was just what I needed, I think. I suppose now I can talk without turning all emo." I took one last big breath to calm myself down from my giggle fit, then prepared to unleash my wayward thoughts.

"So, Alice, it seems as though I have a teeny tiny problem. I am afraid that I have a little bit of a yearning for your cousin. Quit looking at me like that. Ok, fine, a lot of yearning. A severe need. Alice, for real, your face is going to freeze like that." She never even made a peep, just kept raising her eyebrows higher and higher at each little understatement I made.

"Bella, come on now, I knew you wanted Edward ages ago, before you even realized it! I was just waiting for you to come to your senses and admit your love for him--"

"Excuse me, love? Did you say, 'love'? Ah, no, not love."

"Yes, Bella, _love_. Are you trying to tell me that your ears don't perk up whenever his name is mentioned? That your heart doesn't flutter when you hear his voice? That you don't want to completely abandon all your dignity and scale him like King Kong when you see him? How about when he smiles at you? Do your insides turn to mush? Or when he touches you, do you get a jolt of electricity?" _Ha, well, that one I could deny. Sort of._

"I can neither deny nor confirm your allegations. Well, I can deny the last one. I don't get a jolt of electricity, I hear music in my head--" I slapped my hand over my mouth, eyes going wide, aghast at what I let slip out. _I was never planning on telling anyone about __the__ crazy soundtrack__ thing in my head__!_

"Ahem. What was that? You hear _music_??? Please to be explaining. Now." She was smirking, but her one eyebrow was raised, and her arms were crossed. _Shit._ I wasn't getting out of it.

I heaved a big sigh, covered my face with one hand, and blurted it all out, "The first time that Edward touched me, I heard _Every Time We Touch_, you know, the dance song by Cascada? Yeah, that. It started playing in my head while my skin was in contact with his. I tested it out by touching Emmett and got no reaction, so I touched Edward again, and it played more. I think that was when they thought I was retarded at the party. I admit, it was a little spastic. After that time, it started happening all the time, not just when touching Edward. God, this sounds insane. I randomly hear songs in my head to accompany whatever I see. When I saw you by the pool the day after the party, _Beverly Hills_ by Weezer started playing."

"Ooh, I like that song."

"Well, good, because it is kinda your theme song in my head. Remember when there was almost the throwdown at Port Angeles between Rose and Emmett? I heard _Beat It_, and felt like I was Michael Jackson coaxing the two gangs to play nice. Honestly, it's embarrassing. But anyway, that is that. I hear music in my head. No electricity though!!"

She rolled her eyes--_for real, she's going to roll them right out if she keeps that up!--_and said, "Bella, don't you see? The soundtrack _replaces_ the electricity! You love him! You want to daaaaate him, you want to kiiiiiiiiss him, love him and maaaaarry him!" _Figures, she quotes _Miss Congeniality. Then she was making kissy faces and rubbing her hands all over me. Fantastic.

"Ha! You are wrong again! I've already kissed him!" Once again, with the blurting of the inappropriate facts coming from my mouth.

She froze, and her eyes nearly bugged out of her head, "WHAT??? YOU KISSED HIM???"

"Alice! Keep it down! Charlie is right down those stairs!!" I pointed furiously to the stairway, smacking her on the leg for good measure.

"Ow! Owowowowow!! Stop hitting me!! You tell me right this second, Isabella Swan! You kissed Edward?" She was nearly hissing at this point, trying to keep quiet.

My face flushed bright red at the memory of Edward kissing me. I let the wave of lust pass before I spoke, "Well, technically, he kissed me. At your house. In your basement. On your couch. Last month."

She squinted at me for a moment, before a light bulb visibly registered over her head. "Oh! That night you went home 'sick'? He _kissed_ you?? Wait, is that why you were so relieved when I had told you that he and Kate were on a break since that morning? Because you thought you were the 'other woman'?" I nodded in the affirmative. "Well that explains why you were so upset to see them back together the next day at school and why you are dating Mike. Hey wait, if Edward kissed you, then why is he with Kate? Why are you with Mike? Talk to me like I'm four here, because I don't get it." _That won't be a stretch._

"He stopped the kiss, Alice. He said it was wrong and should never have happened. He kind of started talking to himself, mentioning Kate, and… _ugh_! I just don't know, but he did say it shouldn't have happened, and I told him that I agreed with him."

"You WHAT? You AGREED with him?? Are you out of your _MIND_??"

"Well what exactly should I have said, Alice? _He said it was wrong!_ I'd have to be delusional to think I could change his mind."

"Ah, no, you are delusional for thinking that he meant what he said. What you should have said was, '_No, Edward, it was right. __Nothing in my life had ever felt so right.__ Now come over here and bone me_.' _That_ is what you should have said, you stupid girl!"

Now it was my turn to roll my eyes. "Sorry, Alice, but I'm not about to tell someone what they should or shouldn't do, especially when they've already voiced their feelings."

Something I caught from her little tirade before bothered me, so I brought it up again. "Now back up, Alice. You think that I agreed to date Mike because of what happened? Mike has nothing to do with this. He is very nice. I like him." _Operative word: _like.

She snorted, and deadpanned, "Yeah, you 'like' him. He's 'nice'. What a hot-n-heavy relationship you've got going. Catch me while I swoon." _Wow, that was the most monotone voice I have ever heard come out of her._

"Oh be quiet, Alice. Just because we can't all have what you and Jasper share, doesn't make other relationships mean any less!"

"But Bella! You _can_ have that with Edward! It is there! There is no way he and Kate are going to last! I think that the only reason he is still with her is because he thinks he can't have _you_! Really, trust me here, and just think about how you feel when you are around him. I think you will find that I'm right. And, he initiated the kiss. There had to be something there for him to do that."

I scoffed, but didn't discredit her. She had somewhat of a point. I did feel differently around Edward. There always seemed to be this anticipation around us, like we were constantly waiting for something to happen. To answer her earlier questions, yes, my ears perked up whenever his name was mentioned. Yes, my heart fluttered when I heard his voice. I have often visualized him as the Empire State Building, and I was King Kong, ready to leap at him. I couldn't even think about his smile right then. It was positively indecent. _And I liked it._

But the fact remained that Edward _was _with Kate still, and I was with Mike. I would freely admit that no, Mike was not the man of my dreams, but he treated me well and was not completely objectionable, and right then, those were perfectly reasonable and valid points to keep him around for the time being. _Wow, talk about a real Prince Charming_. Don't make me slap you.

Would I drop him in a heartbeat if Edward came and declared his undying love for me? Maybe. _Don't lie!_ Really! I didn't know! What did it matter? It would never happen. _Ok, let's live in fantasyland for a minute or ten._ _Give the answer you would give if anything were possible._ Anything? _Anything_.

"Bella, you look constipated."

"Shut up, Alice. I'm thinking. Give me a minute."

"Okaaaaay."

Yes. I would. Edward was everything. He was the epitome of what I would want in a boy, man, partner, lover. He was kind and sweet, not to mention sexy as hell, and there was an indescribable chemistry between us that was damn near impossible to ignore. Well, for me to ignore anyway. He seemed to do a fine job of ignoring it. _Certainly didn't feel like he ignored it when he kissed you_. Well, we saw how well that turned out, didn't we? That's what I thought.

It certainly didn't hurt that he was gorgeous. He had the kind of beauty that you could stare at for hours and still find new parts to love.

Love?

_Love. _

Holy shit. I _d__id_ love Edward.

"Shut the front door! I love Edward!"

Alice glanced up from her nails, which she had been filing while I mused. "Um, duh. Glad you caught up to the rest of the class though. So, now what are you going to do about it?"

I looked at her, confused for the moment. "What do you mean? I'm not going to do anything. He chose Kate. I've got Mike."

She let out another unladylike snort. "So? I give you and Mike no more than another month, tops. As for Edward and Kate, well, I get the sneaking suspicion that there will be a changing of the guard there pretty soon. I see a storm brewing on the horizon, so keep your options open."

"Okay, Miss Cleo. You sound more like a fortune cookie every day." _Fwap_. Ow. That earned me a whack on the head with my own pillow.

"That was for being a complete idiot and never listening to me. Haven't you learned by now? Never bet against me. You will lose every time." _We should take her to the dog track sometime._

She tossed all her nail torture implements back into her bag, picked it up, and announced, "Well, my dear, as enlightening as this has been--for _you_--I really do need to get back home and finish up. I'll see you at school tomorrow? Come here, bitch, let's hug it out." We, ah, _hugged it out_, and she departed, leaving me to ponder my new revelations in solitude.

I loved Edward. But I was dating Mike. Edward made his choice, which in turn prompted me to make mine. Part of me wanted to be really selfish and keep Mike around, strictly because I didn't want to be alone. I could not go through every day watching Alice and Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett, and especially Edward and Kate, while I stood on the sidelines pining. It would drive me crazy.

_CRAZY ON YOU_

_CRAZY ON YOU_

_LET ME GO CRAZY, CRAZY ON YOU_

Um, let's not and say we did.

In that vein though, what was it that made Kate the better choice over me? I knew then that she wasn't as perfect as everyone thought, after Edward and Alice filled me in a little. He never really seemed to be all that happy around her, to be honest, but she was beautiful, and popular--

_SHE WEARS HIGH HEELS, I WEAR SNEAKERS_

_SHE'S CHEER CAPTAIN, AND I'M ON THE BLEACHERS_

_DREAMING 'BOUT THE DAY WHEN YOU WAKE UP AND FIND_

_THAT WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR HAS BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME_

Wow, soundtrack, you are really on a roll tonight, and really not helping my 'get over Edward and be friends with him' case.

Let's be honest. I really wasn't that much of a catch. I was average looking--pretty, I guess, but nothing special. I didn't have a spectacular body, didn't wear the latest fashions (no matter how hard Alice tried to encourage me), and preferred staying in and reading versus going out and partying.

What exactly was there to entice someone away from their girlfriend, who was opposite me in every way? _Nothing_. Exactly.

I think I could understand Edward choosing Kate. Now that he had, I should move on and be happy that he was happy, right? If he was happy. Was he happy? I didn't know, really. When I started seeing Mike, I had pretty much stopped talking to him except for in Biology and at lunch.

Ah, Mike. Poor Mike. He was trying so hard, really. I didn't believe that it was entirely fair to him for me to keep him around when he had pretty much no idea of my connection with Edward, but part of me enjoyed having a boyfriend who was entirely focused on me. He was a bit like an obedient Golden Retriever, but that had its advantages. He would do practically anything I asked, without question. Not that I had taken advantage of it. _Come to think of it, you never have taken advantage. Make him gas up Big Bertha! Get the oil changed! Buy you tampons!_ Uh, little too far there.

The kissing was okay. Nothing spectacular, but when I had Edward's kissing as a benchmark… well, pretty much everyone else would fall short of that lofty bar. _Pretty much? You are giving someone credit_. Fine, _everyone_ would fall short.

I would be keeping Mike around for a while longer. There was no sense in letting go of a sure thing when there was nothing on the horizon.

However, I decided to play nice with Edward again. In truth, I missed being friends with him. He was my good buddy for a while there. _Yeah, good buddy that you wanted to mount_. You're so eloquent.

It was pretty much my own fault that I wasn't as close with Edward any longer, and I should really make up for that.

I got ready for bed and slipped under the covers, ready to start fresh the next day. Just the possibility of talking to Edward had me giddy.

I was so screwed.

* * *

**References**

TRL- Total Request Live, staple on MTV for 10 years, majority of which was hosted by Carson Daly. I wish he hadn't of gotten so skinny…

Bye Bye Bye- *NSYNC song, link to video on profile. Now try to tell me you did not laugh, imagining Charlie dancing to that

King Kong- Gigantic gorilla, terrorized New York City, climbed up the Empire State Building with his lady love

Miss Congeniality- Sandra Bullock movie, quite entertaining. Sequel, not so much.

Miss Cleo- 'Psychic' that had a hotline and badly-accented commercials. I believe she got sued for deceptive advertising.

'Hug it out'- Must give props to Ari on Entourage. I don't even watch the show and I know that. I'm ridiculous.

**Mental Soundtrack, in order**

_Green Eyes_, Coldplay

_Crazy on You_, Heart

_You Belong With Me_, Taylor Swift

**A/N**

All I can say is wow. I've broken 300 faves, 16,000 hits, 400 alerts, and 470 reviews. Thank you, really. Thanks to TallulahBelle for reccing me on her update of Elemental. If anyone else did, please tell me!

Thank you AmeryMarie and RedVelvetHeaven. I really don't know what I'd do without you guys.

Recs this week: **Mens Rea: A Guilty Mind** by forbidden-fruit81, **The Screamers** by KiyaRaven (seriously, I nearly died laughing at one point, then my heart broke clean through at another point), and **A Person of Worth** by tnuccio (this is a beautiful story that doesn't get nearly the attention it should)

We've got 3 chapters plus the epilogue to go. Hang in there.


	11. Queens, Heroes, but Not the One

**So you guys will be happy to hear that I ended up splitting this chapter in half. You will get one more chapter than planned. **

**Also, ****POV changes will be frequent a few times in this chapter. I normally dislike this, but it is necessary to get both sides ****correctly****.**

**Thank you Tosh, Red, and Nina. **

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, songs, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**Chapter 11****-Queens, Heroes, but Not the One**

_Confidence_- Teddy Geiger

_Forgive me if I st-stutter  
From all of the clutter in my head  
Cuz I could fall asleep in those eyes  
Like a water bed  
Do I seem familiar, I've crossed you in hallways  
a thousand times, no more camouflage  
I want to be exposed, and not be afraid to fall._

_I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have  
And cannonball into the water  
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have  
For you I will  
You always want what you can't have  
But I've got to try  
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have  
For you I will_

**EPOV**

Monday morning.

School.

Bella.

Wooing.

I was ready.

I knew that I'd have to be careful, though, because Bella was dating Mike still. I couldn't be a complete prick and blatantly go after her, because then not only would other people think I was a dick, there was a heavy chance that Bella would dislike me for it as well.

First, I should probably apologize to her for questioning her choice to date Mike. She didn't react favorably to my interest previously, and in hindsight, it was pretty tactless of me to do. I reacted purely out of jealousy, and I idiotically let that show through by putting Mike down. She was completely right to call me on it and question my motives. She just didn't know how spot-on she had been.

The question was, how could I go about apologizing and making her know that I really meant it, while at the same time getting her to trust me again.

I'd never really needed to apologize to anyone for something like that, so the whole concept was a little foreign to me. I supposed I could just wing it, see what came to mind when I saw her. Hm, yes, I guessed that would be the best way.

Maybe Emmett would know how to go about it. _Ha! You th__ought__ Emmett would know something about apologizing to a woman?? _Yeah, well, it was a shot in the dark. You never knew, he might surprise me.

I decided to talk to him about it at school. Couldn't hurt, right?

*****

When I got to school, I saw Emmett leaning against his Jeep in the parking lot, talking to Rosalie. I parked, then walked over and greeted them.

"Hey, Em, Rose. How was the rest of your weekend after the party?"

Rosalie answered first. "Hi, Edward. Sunday wasn't bad, spent it tooling around in the garage. Lunkhead here was a bit distracting, but I can't complain." She gestured at Emmett, smirking. He wiggled his eyebrows at her, causing me to roll my eyes and sigh.

"Guys, for real, I don't need the visuals. Listen, you mind if I steal Emmett for a bit? I've got some, ah, _boy stuff_ to discuss." She raised her eyebrows at me, then shrugged and said 'sure'. I waited a few seconds to allow Emmett to ogle her as she walked away, and he finally turned to me.

"So, 'boy stuff', huh? What the hell did you get yourself into this time? Kate castrate you yet?" I punched him in the shoulder, scowling. Then I remembered that I hadn't told him what happened over the weekend yet.

"Actually, that is part of it. Kate, not the castrating. We actually broke up yesterday." Emmett's face fell a little, and he looked chagrined.

"Dude, I'm sorry, I had no idea. Do you, uh, want to talk about it or something?" He looked a little like a deer in headlights, as if he had no idea what to do or say.

"Nah, I'm okay. It was a long time coming, and we are both fine with it. Didn't even fight. Actually, she told me that she slept with someone else, a Garrett, some sophomore, and that she thought she loved him. It happened when we were on our 'break'." Then he looked pissed.

"What the fuck? She did what? And you weren't pissed?"

"I couldn't be, man." _It was now or never to tell him about Bella._ "I, well...I kissed Bella that same weekend. That night we watched Goonies? Yeah." I stuffed my fists in my coat pockets, grimacing slightly, and his eyes nearly popped out of his head at the news.

"You...what? Why the hell didn't you tell me about this shit earlier, man? That was like, a month ago! What happened? Wait a second, Bella started dating Mike Doucheton right after that weekend...what the fuck did you do?" And there was his stern look, arms crossed and all.

"Yeah...ah, shit. I messed up, Em. I messed up bad. I stopped the kiss and started mumbling shit about how it was wrong, it shouldn't have happened, stupid shit, really. I didn't know where my head was at. Kate and I had just agreed to a break, to think about things, not to see other people, and I just panicked. Then I overheard Alice talking to her on the phone, and it sounded like she said we'd never work out, which is why I went back to Kate. I think I might have driven her to Mike by doing that. Then I fucked up further by telling her that Mike wasn't good enough for her. Don't roll your eyes at me, dickhead, I know it was out of jealousy. I've already slapped myself around a few times. But that is what I wanted to talk to you about. I need to apologize to her, but it has to be good. I know what I want now, and I'm going to try to get it. I just have to do it the right way."

"You know what you want, huh? And what's that?" Then it was my turn to roll my eyes.

"Bella. I want Bella. I know she's with Mike, but I think she's only with him because she thinks I don't want her. At least, Alice thinks that. At this point, I'd rather believe Alice, because it is all I have to hope for."

"So you really like Bella a lot, huh?" I nodded my confirmation.

There was a long pause, and then, "Do you love her?" I completely lost my train of thought as I allowed his words to penetrate my mind.

I didn't have to think too long about it, really, though I'd never explored it before. "Yes, I do. I really think I do." And I did. I don't know when it happened, but I had fallen in love with Bella Swan.

Emmett grinned, put his arm around my shoulder, and said, "Well then, let's do this!"

We started discussing what I could do that might work, and headed into the building. I just had to make it until lunch.

*****

_Somebody to Love-_Queen  
_  
Got no feel, I got no rhythm  
I just keep losing my beat  
I'm ok, I'm alright  
Ain't gonna face no defeat  
I just gotta get out of this prison cell  
Someday I'm gonna be free, lord!_

_Find me somebody to love  
Can anybody find me somebody to love?_

**BPOV**

Monday morning.

School.

Edward.

Mike.

What the hell was I going to do?

I was just not ready to face that whole new reality. My epiphany yesterday had my mind reeling. I was pulled in a thousand different directions, and nine-hundred of them resulted in Edward. It didn't matter, though, right? _Right_. Edward was with Kate, I was with Mike. Didn't matter.

But what if it did matter? What if there was a chance?. _Would you kick Edward outta bed if he miraculously happened to appear there__?_ Um, well, no. I suppose not. _Just checking_.

I rushed through my morning routine, since I had spent too much time battling with my inner monologue, and pulled into school without a minute to spare. The morning was positively wasted on me being nervous about seeing Edward for the first time since I had admitted that I loved him. I was hoping that it wouldn't drastically alter my interactions with him, especially in any obvious ways that would tip him off to my new feelings. _Old feelings_. Whatever.

When I walked into the lunchroom and headed to our usual table, I noticed Edward sitting in his seat next to Emmett. I took my seat at the other end, next to Alice, and pulled out my food--dry Top Ramen. Just something so tasty about the thin noodles and salty-as-hell powder sprinkled along it. Crunchy. Delicious. Heart-attack inducing.

Before I even had a chance to take my first crispy bite, I felt someone plop down on the seat next to me. Without turning my head, I slowly moved my eyes sideways to see who it was.

Edward.

Hm. He hadn't voluntarily sat by me, nor even spoken to me really, over the past month. What could he possibly want now? _Stop being a bitch and find out_. Hey, now. _I'm just saying._

"Hey, Bella."

"Hi there, Edward. What brings you to this part of the table?" He took a moment or two to gather his bearings, it seemed, before answering.

"Well, to be honest, I owe you an apology. I, uh, well, I was wrong, before. When I first questioned you as to why you were dating Mike, I mean. I shouldn't have said a word. I want you to be happy, and if you're happy, I'm happy. I hate that we have stopped being friendly, and you haven't seemed like your usual self lately, and I'm afraid that it's my fault. _I'm sorry I'm bad. I'm sorry you're blue. I'm sorry about all the things I said to you, and I know that I can't take them back._" He finished talking and sat quietly, chewing on his lip a bit and looking at the table.

Wow.

He was apologizing. To be honest, I felt a warm, mushy _awwww_ness after what he had said, but I certainly couldn't let him know that. And actually, those last words were awfully familiar..._wait a second_...

"Um. Well, thank you, I think. But, did you really just use Buckcherry lyrics to apologize to me?" He looked up at me quickly, eyes widening a bit, cheeks turning a slight pink.

He ran his hand through his hair before cupping the back of his neck and laughing a little, "Ha, well, yeah, I did. Didn't think you would know the song. Well, this is embarrassing. The words fit. Sounded good." He shrugged a little, as if to validate himself. _There was no way I was telling him I thought it was sweet_.

I laughed, and said, "You didn't think I'd know a Buckcherry song? Really? Oh, Edward, you don't give me enough credit. I know many, many songs and artists. I bet that I could even rival your knowledge."

He laughed again before responding, "Oh I doubt that, Ms Swan. I doubt that very much."

"Oh, really? Would you care to make a little wager of it?"

"A wager? I wouldn't want to embarrass you, Swan. What kind of wager are we talking here? What is the game, and what are the stakes?"

"Hmmm. Well, I suppose the game could just be us putting out lyrics to each other, trying to stump the other person. We take turns. It can be written, texted, verbal, through our friends, whatever. Whoever is first to not know a lyric, loses. Not sure about the stakes. How about the winner just gets bragging rights?"

He shook his head, "Not enough. How about bragging rights, and a favor to be named after the game is won?" _Hmmmm, tricky one._

_IT'S TRICKY TO ROCK A RHYME_

_TO ROCK A RHYME THAT'S RIGHT ON TIME_

_IT'S TRICKY..._

Well, well, I thought you had disappeared forever, Soundtrack. _You __weren't__ that lucky!_

"I think I can agree to that. Shake on it?"

"Absolutely." He grinned as he took my hand and shook it, then quickly brought it up to kiss the back of it. I was momentarily stunned. His grin widened, and if it were any bigger, he'd resemble Jack Nicholson in Batman. I quickly looked around to see if anyone had seen him do that. Our table seemed to be preoccupied with each other, but they were quiet, which could only mean that they had been listening in on our conversation and had definitely seen the hand kiss. _Um, have you forgotten about the two people that probably _really_ wouldn't have liked that? Mike and Kate?_ Shit. I checked again and Mike wasn't even in the cafeteria, and Kate was completely absorbed in her friends, particularly a blondish guy sitting next to her. Huh.

"Um, Edward, what was that? You are lucky Mike isn't in here, he probably wouldn't have liked it very much. Nor would your girlfriend, if she wasn't fawning over that guy over there." I pointed in her direction, and Edward glanced over, shrugging. _He didn't care??_

"She's not my girlfriend, Bella. We broke up yesterday. And, Mike doesn't really concern me too much, to be honest. You are allowed to have friends, right?" He gave me another Crest-white smile, and stood up, grabbing his bag off the floor and walking backward for a few steps before turning around and heading down the hall.

_Stop the presses._ They broke up?

*****

**EPOV**

I walked away from Bella, grinning like a madman on the inside. I knew I shouldn't have done the hand-kiss move, but it was automatic. I completely did it without thinking. Her reaction, though, was priceless. And, it worked even better for me to tell her about my break-up with Kate. She led me right into it. I had been freaking out about how to tell her without having it come off as desperate.

I had to laugh at how Emmett's plan for my apology had backfired before it actually segued into something even better. The lyrics game that Bella suggested would be a perfect way to get into her psyche a little, without having it be a glaring, neon sign that said: _I want you!_ I just had to slip in some romantic lyrics here and there, enough to make her think twice. I could bide my time...just had to invoke the spirit of Axl Rose and have a little _patience_.

*****

**BPOV**

By the time I came to from my stupor after I realized that Edward was back on the market, and I conveniently was not, I had to practically sprint through the halls to get to Biology on time. _Biology...and Edward!_ Crap. Crap, crap, crap. I needed to get a grip. I could not show him the power he held over me. _Oh, that oughta be interesting_.

I slid onto my stool just as the late bell rang, trying to catch my breath. Edward greeted me, laughing a bit cockily. _Hmmmmm_. Time to break out the first lyric, methinks.

I pulled out a piece of notebook paper, grabbed my pen, and jotted down a quick lyric. Hopefully it would be enough to make him think a bit, and it would honestly surprise me if he got it on the first try.

Since he had apologized to me with a lyric, I would apologize to him in the same manner. I folded the paper in half and stealthily slid it over to his side of the table, not looking at him.

*****

**EPOV**

Bella slid a folded-over sheet of paper to me, and I quirked an eyebrow at it. I wondered what it was, then pulled it off the desk into my lap. I made sure Mr. Banner wasn't looking in our direction, then I unfolded it and read it. In her chicken-scratch scrawl was written:

_And if I hurt you, then I'm sorry  
Please don't think that this was easy_

A slow smile crept over my face; she was starting the game already. And, it seemed perhaps she was doing some apologizing of her own? Hm. I wasn't sure if it was to be taken at face value, or maybe she had just heard the song earlier that day and it was convenient. I was going to pretend that she meant it as a means of saying sorry. But sorry for what? Please don't think that _what _was easy? _For fuck's sake, stop over-analyzing!_

I shrugged a little before writing my response and returning the paper back to her. She read it and frowned slightly. Ha! She thought she would stump me out of the gate. _Oh, Bella, I told you I didn't want to embarrass you._

*****

**BPOV**

I read his elegant writing on the paper:

_Konstantine~Something Corporate_

_Damn him!_ Foiled!

The hour passed by so quickly, I was startled when the release bell rang out. I gathered up my books, and Mike came over to say hi. He leaned over to kiss me, and I turned my face at the last second, so he ended up brushing my cheek instead. I was actually a little shocked that he went for the kiss, because he knew how I felt about PDA. I was not a touchy-feely person, so the whole hand-holding, kissing at every chance thing just wasn't up my alley. I felt bad pulling away from Mike, but it was just a bit awkward with Edward standing there.

Edward greeted Mike, "Hey, Mike. How's it going?"

Mike narrowed his eyes briefly before returning his greeting and saying he was fine. _Well that was an interesting reaction_. I felt the need to vacate the area, so I cut in and excused us before more tension could be layered in the air.

"Mike, what was that? Why did you act so weird with Edward?"

He sighed before responding, "Bella, I just don't don't like him. The way he looks at you...it just...I just don't like it."

I rolled my eyes before huffing, "Mike, Edward is my friend. There is nothing going on." _Even though you want there to be..._ "Are you jealous or something?"

"What? No. I mean... no! Unless I should be?"

"No, Mike, there is no reason for you to be." _Unfortunately_.

I shook my head to stop the unbidden thoughts that kept arising, and gestured to Mike that we needed to get to our last classes.

"Hey, I'll talk to you later, okay?" He said sure, and squeezed my hand in goodbye. I smiled reassuringly. _For him, or for you?_ I wasn't sure.

I walked out to my truck after school, and saw that Em, Rose, Alice, and Jasper were standing around Emmett's Jeep, talking animatedly.

"Hey, guys. What's up?" I smiled at them and waved a bit before dumping my backpack into the cab of Bertha.

"Hey MarshBella!" Emmett whisked me up into a bone-crushing hug, before I squeaked out, "Put...me...down...please!" He laughed and released me.

Edward must have walked up while I was catching my breath, because I suddenly heard him call my name.

"Oh, hey, Bella? _Guess what I received in the mail today_?" _Errrr, should I care?_

"Umm...no idea."

"_Words_ _of deep concern from my little brother_." He smiled at me, and my mouth went a little slack for a second. _Check for drool_. Thanks. Now what in the hell was he going on about? He didn't have a little brother.

"Edward, you don't have a little..._ohhhh._" What a sneaky punk. He slipped in a lyric. Well, sorry to bust his bubble, but I knew that one, and knew it well.

"My Name is Jonas, Weezer." I smiled smugly at him as he nodded at me. My next attempt would have to be good. I would sleep on it. I suddenly had a feeling that the game would go on for some time, as we both apparently had far-reaching tastes in music.

I looked around to see our friends with puzzled looks on their faces. _So maybe they hadn't been listening at lunch_.

"What? It's a good song." I sniffed haughtily and caught Edward's eye, right before he started cracking up. _That laugh was so infectious, I couldn't help but join in._

*****

It was a couple days until I came up with a good lyric to pose to Edward. It came to me at dinner, while _Footloose_ was on TV. Kevin Bacon was doing his dance routine in the warehouse, and the song struck me. I pulled out my phone and opened up a new text.

_E-_

_Up where the mountains meet the heavens above  
Out where the lightning splits the sea  
I would swear that there's someone, somewhere  
Watching me_

-_B_

I smiled as I put the phone back down and resumed eating my Spaghetti-Os. Imagine my surprise when the phone buzzed shortly thereafter.

Scrunching up my brow, I reached for the phone. _Come ON. _He was _so_ getting teased if he knew that song so quickly. It was such a chick song! I read the response warily.

_B-_

_I Need a Hero, Bonnie Tyler._

_Nice try though ;)_

_-E_

I slammed the phone down in frustration.I was going to have to dig deeper.

**EPOV**

I had to laugh at Bella, because I knew what she was doing with the Bonnie Tyler song. If I admitted to knowing it, I was a chick. If I pretended not to know it, I lost. Sorry, but not losing comes first in that scenario.

I waited until Friday to come up with a good challenge, and I was being a bit sneaky with it that time. Honestly, I didn't care if Bella knew the song; I actually figured she would. But it was a good way to get a message across. I employed the Biology note-passing technique again, as they weren't really lyrics I could say out loud without getting an odd reaction. And at least I could hide a note from Mike's suspicious eyes much easier than spoken words could be kept from his ears.

I slid the paper over to Bella and awaited her response.

*****

**BPOV**

A note was slid to me from Edward. I glanced at him, and grabbed it, quietly opening it up on my lap. I bent my head down a bit to read it, and I'd be lying if I said the words didn't stop my heart for a beat or two.

_Hit me like a ray of sun  
Burning through my darkest night  
You're the only one that I want  
Think I'm addicted to your light_

They were just lyrics. They were just lyrics. _Repeat ad nauseam. _

I took a deep breath, held it for a second, then blew it out while picking up my pen to write the song name and send it back over to Edward. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye and bit my lip before turning my attention back to the chalkboard.

*****

**EPOV**

Of course she knew it. I knew she would.

_Halo, Beyonce_

Yes, Bella, and I hope you knew they were more than just lyrics.

I looked to the side to see her face, and caught her eye in the process. I raised one side of my mouth in a half-smile, letting her know she was right, though it probably wasn't necessary. She tentatively smiled back, and her cheeks got very pink before she looked down at the lab table again. _Ahhh, it seemed she may have read into it a bit. _Good. That was the point.

*****

It had been a week since I had given Bella that lyric, and I was beginning to wonder if I scared her off. She hadn't taken her turn yet, and hadn't mentioned anything about it at school or at home when she was over. She didn't really act weird though, so I tried not to take it too personally.

We all said our goodbyes on Friday afternoon, promising to get together over the weekend. I was driving Alice and myself home, as it had been rainy lately and Alice didn't want to take her car out in crappy weather.

I heard her clear her throat next to me, and turned my head to glance at her before she started speaking.

"So, Edward, you gonna tell me what is going on with you and Bella? I've been trying to figure it out, but Bella won't throw me a bone. You guys have been so cryptic with some of the things you say, and Bella has been blushing more than usual at the mention of you--which is a lot, as you know. Care to share?" She folded her arms across her chest and sat back in her chair, giving me a glare.

"Ummm, well, if Bella didn't tell you, maybe she doesn't want you to know?" She let out a loud, exasperated groan, and I swear I heard a growl in there somewhere.

"Duh! That's why I'm asking you! You are my cousin. _My blood_. Blood doesn't keep things from each other. Come on, Edward. _Please?_" I knew without even looking that she was doing her Alice the Basset Hound impression. I had never been able to resist that. I stopped at the red light and let my head fall back against the headrest, letting out a sigh.

"Okay, Alice. I'll spill. But you have to promise to not share this with anyone, unless Bella tells you herself! Swear to me!" She offered her pinky, and I hooked it with my own.

"So, we are kind of playing a game. We take turns putting song lyrics out there for the other person to guess. First person to not know a song, loses." She had narrowed her eyes by that point.

"So, what's the catch? Why are you playing this game? There is no way you are doing this just for fun, especially if you won't tell anyone about it. Spill."

I looked at her innocently, and said, "I have no idea what you are talking about, Alice." She just rolled her eyes and yawned, continuing to stare at me.

She kept staring. I fiddled with the radio.

Still staring. _Why was this the longest car ride ever?_

Then it turned into a kind of glaring, really. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat.

Aha! Finally! Our driveway! I made the turn, then remembered that it was an extremely long driveway. _Dammit. _ I took in a deep breath and blew it out sharply.

"Fine, Alice. You are right. I have an agenda. I want Bella. I love her." _Well, apparently that wasn't what she was expecting to hear._ Her jaw dropped practically down to her lap.

She shrieked, "SHUT UP! You've finally figured it out?! It's about damn time! Now, what is this whole thing about? Tell me _everything_!" I pulled up to the house and parked, shutting off the car.

"Let's get inside first, Alice. I'll tell you, I promise." She squealed and clapped her hands, bouncing up and down in the seat before flying out the door of the car. _Here goes nothing_.

We settled inside, taking up residence in the kitchen. I told her everything, from when we kissed, to my giant fuck-up, and how I had overheard her on the phone. She corrected me on that part, and said that Bella never said she _couldn't_ be with me, just that she didn't think it would ever happen. I slapped myself on the forehead for that one. _Such an idiot_. I then continued with my confession, relating what happened with my little tirade about Mike--_which I got the back of my head slapped for_--and then I finished up with talking to Emmett, and how our little plan got messed up, but then salvaged when Bella suggested the game. I even told her the songs we had used so far.

"So I plan to use this game as a way to show Bella that I care, and to kind of let her know I'm there, whenever she is ready. If she is ever ready."

Alice was uncharacteristically quiet for a couple minutes, contemplating what I had said.

"Edward, did you ever stop to think that she might not want you now? I'm not saying it's true, I'm just putting it out there."

"Well, Alice, if that is true, then I will have to accept it and just be her friend. I would pine away for her the rest of my life, but I'd be a great friend if that was what she wanted. I can't stay away from her. I don't really have a choice, to be honest."

She grinned and said, "Good. Answer. Now I know that you really care, and actually deserve her."

I smiled back at her, and said, "I really do, Alice. Like I said, I love her. I want her to be happy no matter who she chooses or what she does. I'd prefer if she chose me, of course, but I can't tell her what decision to make."

"Well, I can tell you that your little game is definitely working to make her think. It explains why she's been distracted lately and gets flustered whenever you are mentioned. And that latest one, the Beyonce? Yeah, that one really threw her for a loop I think, judging by the way I remember her acting last week. Now that you've told me this stuff, everything makes sense. Honestly, this is really one of the sweetest things I've ever heard, and she'd be a damn fool not to realize that you guys are meant for each other."

My phone dinged with a text, and I pulled it out to check the screen. My heart did a little flip when I saw _BELLA_ flashing on the screen.

I opened the text to read what she had sent:

_E-_

_I never know what the future brings  
But I know you're here with me now_

-_B_

I smiled, and showed Alice.

"Looks like she is playing now too, huh?" I nodded at her, and did a quick text back.

_B-_

_We'll make it through..._

_If You're Not the One, Daniel Bedingfield_

_-E_

"Alice, I just might have a chance yet." I tapped my phone with my index finger, and tried to think of my next line. Since she had given me that one, I knew that she realized this game was more than that. She had to.

And if she didn't, she would soon enough.

* * *

**References**

**Top Ramen**- High-in-sodium Oriental noodles that are the cheapest lunch, ever. Ok, cheapest next to free lunch.

**Jack Nicholson-** Played The Joker in the original Batman. Freaky dude.

**Axl Rose/**_**Patience**_**-** Guns N Roses again, great song…lots of whistling in it.

**PDA**- Public Displays of Affection. Not big on it, myself.

**Lyric Game songs**

_Sorry_, Buckcherry

_Konstantine, _Something Corporate

_My Name is Jonas_, Weezer

_I Need a Hero_, Bonnie Tyler

_Halo_, Beyonce

_If You're Not the One_, Daniel Bedingfield

**Mental Soundtrack**

_It's Tricky, _Run DMC

**A/N**

Ok, so, I hope you enjoyed the first half of the wooing! Edward now knows he loves Bella, Bella is beginning to wise-up, Mike is suspicious of Edward, and Alice has as much energy as a Chihuahua on speed. What else is new?

Oh, and, if you read Bad Habit, you know that AmeryMarie and I are going to be collaborating on a new story in the future. Be forewarned though, it will be severely angsty, and extremely emotional. I had the idea, and asked her to collab with me and write Edward. I might see about coming up with a crackfic or fluffy story to write at the same time, so those of you that don't want angst will still get something from me ;). But I still hope you give it a chance! Make sure you author alert me.

**Recs this week (a lot!):** **I Only Want You for Your Body**, by fatallyobsessed (she wrote Cocktails & Dreams); **A Rough Start**, by ItzMegan73; **Bella Undercover**, by giada-marsielle; **The Naked Guy Upstairs,** by angrybadgergirl; **…Becomes the Swan**, by venomousgal and Pomme_de_terre; **Not Like This**, by pomme_de_terre; **Detruit**, by somah4. Yes, I was very busy reading the past few weeks.


	12. Signify with Black TShirts

**A/n**: sorry this is so late…I'll explain why at the bottom.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, songs, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**Chapter 12****-Signify with Black T-Shirts**

_The Longest Time_-Billy Joel

_I don't care what consequence it brings  
I have been a fool for lesser things  
I want you so bad  
I think you ought to know that  
I intend to hold you for the longest time_

**EPOV**

Even though I knew that Bella was in the game at that point, I still had to be careful. Mike was still her boyfriend, and I still wasn't going to be a dick. She would really have to figure that out on her own, but I'd be there for her when she did.

I knew I wasn't making things easy on her by playing this game, but honestly, I didn't know how else to really let her know that I cared for her without coming across like a complete douche.

Speaking of the game...

What would be my next line? I needed a good one. The last couple had been a little heavy and emotional, so it would probably be best to lighten it up a bit, and I knew just the perfect one...time to use our friends to my advantage!

I waited the entire weekend, until Monday morning in the school parking lot, to pull out my lyric. I knew I would need at least Emmett and Jasper's help, since they knew the song I would be using, and would join in right away.

I parked near Emmett's Jeep, and Alice and I got out of the Porsche, walking over to the group. Bella wasn't there yet, so I was able to talk to them briefly to at least warn them about what was coming.

"Fucker!" Emmett grabbed me around the neck and moved like he was going to give me a noogie.

"Dude! What the fuck have I told you about the hair? You don't mess with the hair." He laughed, called me queer, and let me straighten up.

"So, before I was mauled," I shot Emmett a glare, "I was going to tell you guys that I need your help in a bit. When Bella gets here, I'm going to quote a song. I'm not telling you what it is, but I know you'll know it. Just play along with me."

"I dunno, man. What do I get out of it?" Emmett crossed his arms and cocked an eyebrow at me.

"Well, Emmett, how about you play along and I don't tell anyone that you have Celine Dion's complete catalog on CD?" I suppressed my laughter just enough to await his answer.

His face flushed, and he dropped his arms, mumbling, "Fine. Jasper, you are fucking doing it too. Don't ask questions."

Jasper let out a loud, gasping laugh that left me a bit concerned for the welfare of his lungs. I slapped him on the back a few times when he leaned over, out of breath. He held up a hand as if to say, '_I'm good'_, so I turned back to Emmett.

"Perfect. Oh, here comes Bella." I noticed Bella's truck lumbering into the parking lot, and she finally pulled up near us. She hopped down out of the cab and sauntered over, awkwardly waving at the group.

I greeted her first. "Morning, Bella."

I turned to the others, "_You know, people, when you do find somebody, hold that woman, hold that man, love him, please him, squeeze her, please her, hold her. Squeeze and please that person, give 'em all your love, signify your feelings with every gentle caress_..." That was Emmett's cue, and he didn't fail me.

"_Signify!_" He let out the single word in a breathy, high-pitched voice, causing Rosalie to snicker briefly before silencing herself.

I grinned and looked back at Bella, who had a bewildered expression on her face..._yes!_ I kept going, Emmett and Jasper interjecting at the appropriate times, of course.

"_Because it's so important to have that special somebody, to hold," _Hold!

_"Kiss," _Kiss!

_"Miss," _Miss!

_"Squeeze," _Squeeze!

"_And please_." Please!

Bella started half-way smiling, and obviously wanted to laugh by that point, but I wanted to keep going. I had no idea how Em and Jas were holding it together, but they looked like they belonged in a Baptist church, praising the Lord!

"_Everybody needs somebody," _I need you! 

_"Everybody needs somebody to love_," Everybody! 

_"Someone to love_," Needs somebody! 

_"Everybody needs somebody to love_," Everybody! 

_"Someone to love," _Needs somebody! 

_"Sweetheart to miss_," Everybody!

"_Sugar to kiss_." Needs somebody!

Then, it was time to involve the girls, and since I hadn't asked them to play along and didn't even know if they would know what we were doing, I threw caution to the wind.

"_I need you__…__" _I pointed at Alice. She timed it perfect to chime in with me when I said 'you', and pointed back at me. I smiled again.

"_You_…" then pointed at Rosalie. She raised her eyebrows and flipped me off; completely normal.

"You…" I finally pointed to Bella.

I was well aware of the _'what is wrong with them'_ stares we were getting, but I honestly didn't care. It was hilarious, believe me! Everyone was laughing by that point, and I knew that I gave Bella more than enough time to figure out what we were doing.

Bella wiped the tears out of her eyes before looking at me, laughing a few more times, and saying, "Everybody Needs Somebody, Blues Brothers version."

Then she winked at me. _The girl gets more and more perfect for me every day._ I grinned back at her and nodded my head to the side, indicating that we should get inside. We walked a bit ahead of the group, and I said to her in a low voice, "I would hope you'd have guessed that one, with the crazy amount of hints I gave you!"

She rolled her eyes at me before nudging my arm with her shoulder and walking off to her class.

I couldn't help grinning to myself as I watched her walk away, shaking her head. _Damn, I loved that girl._

*****

_Song for the Dumped_-Ben Folds Five

_Give me my money back  
give me my money back, you bitch  
I want my money back  
and don't forget  
and don't forget  
to give me back my black t-shirt_

**BPOV**

I wasn't sure of what I was doing any longer. I felt a new giddiness take over whenever Edward and I would talk or trade lyrics, and I knew it was caused by my recently-realized feelings for him. I really needed to make a decision about Mike, and soon. I knew that I was a complete asshole for stringing him along still.

I promised myself right then that I would talk to Mike sooner, rather than later. I didn't really want him to find out what was going on with Edward, mainly because I knew he'd freak out. He was already suspicious of Edward; not that I could blame him.

The week of Thanksgiving came up fast, and I knew that the time with Mike was coming to an end. What I didn't know, though, was how explosive that week would be.

It started innocently enough, with everyone a little giddy about getting four entire days off of school for the holiday. Wednesday was our last day at school for the week, and I don't know that I'll ever forget it.

I hadn't taken my turn at our game yet, as I was still not sure which way to take it. I was starting to get the feeling that Edward really meant the lyrics he was using, due to small changes in behavior and the innuendo that he would slip into our conversations. His hand would linger just a beat longer than normal when he touched me, and he was flirting a lot more than I'd ever seen. _That would be because he'd never flirted with you before_. Rub it in, why don't ya?

The beginning of the end was when I decided on the lyric I'd make my play with. I wrote it down on a piece of paper, intending to give it to Edward in Biology.

It fell out of my backpack when I got up from the lunch table (I was sitting with Mike and his friends that day), and Mike picked it up, asking what it was.

"Oh, it's nothing." I moved to take it back from him, but he opened it. My face drained of color initially, then burst into flames.

"Close your eyes, give me your hand, do you feel my heart beating, do you understand." He read the lines out loud, then looked up at me questioningly. "What is this, Bella?" _Shit, shit, shit, shit. _Not how I had planned it to go down.

"Um, well, they are song lyrics." He gestured to me to continue.

"Song lyrics for what?" His face took on a narrowed glare, and he crosed his arms across his chest. _Damn, he noticed the blush._ He knew something was up.

"Mike, can we go outside or something? I, um...let's just go out to my truck. Please." He flexed his jaw a couple times before turning to go out to the parking lot. I hitched my bag higher up my shoulder before following him out. _Shall I start playing the funeral march?_

We made it all the way to my truck before Mike abruptly stopped and spun around, asking, "This has to do with Edward, doesn't it?"

My eyes flew wide open for a second before I composed myself. "Why would you say that, Mike?"

"Oh, come off it, Bella. I've seen you guys passing notes in class, and I've seen the way you talk to each other. I'm not an idiot, you know." _How did I respond to that??_ The truth. The truth is usually optimal.

I let out a slow breath before answering. "Mike, I think you should know that I..." The words got caught in my throat as I looked at his expectant face. I swallowed quickly, then forced my mouth to spit out the words.

"I think you should know that I have feelings for Edward. I'm sorry. Really, I am. To be honest--" He cut me off.

"Just stop. Don't say another word." I braved a peek at his eyes, and recoiled at what I saw there. Anger, hurt, disappointment. "I can't believe how _fucking selfish _you are. How long has this been going on, Bella? The whole time we've been together?"

I was stunned; I couldn't answer him.

"_How long?_" He implored again.

"I-I don't know! I only just figured it out, really. A few weeks...maybe months...maybe the whole time." My eyes dropped to the ground, and I could feel them begin to well up. "I'm sorry, Mike. Really." I whispered this quietly enough that I didn't know if he heard me.

"Sorry? _You're sorry??_ You led me on for nearly TWO MONTHS, Bella. Why did you ever agree to go out with me if you had feelings for him? Was it to get back at _him_ for something?"

My eyes flew up to meet his again, "No! I really thought I could make it work, Mike! I had given up on the idea of ever being with Edward, and you gave me an opportunity to move on. Unfortunately, I just...didn't. Couldn't."

I was really starting to feel crappy about the whole situation, and saying it all out loud was making me realize what a piece of shit I truly was. I had used Mike, and in the worst way. I had been incredibly selfish, and extremely unfair to him. The tears started to run down my face.

"You know what, Bella...I think I could understand and accept your apology if this was a new thing. But you've been passing notes like this with him for weeks. You knew that this," he motioned between us with his hand, "wasn't working, and yet you chose to say nothing. I feel like such a moron. I liked you, a _lot_." He shook his head and snorted out a disbelieving laugh. "I hope you're happy with him. Bye, Bella." He turned to walk away, but I reached out to grab his arm and stop him.

"Mike! I'm sorry, please believe me! I was being incredibly selfish by keeping you around. I know that now!" I wiped angrily at my tears, wishing them away. "But please, please don't be mad at me for falling in love with Edward...I fought so hard against it! Just...don't hate me, please." He stopped trying to wrench his arm out of my grasp and stood still.

"You love him?"

He still had his back turned to me, so I had to answer verbally, in a whisper, "Yes."

He sighed, before turning halfway around to look at me. "Well…shit. I really don't know what to say, Bella. I thought…I thought we had something going here. Now, though, now I fucking question everything we did, and everything you said."

He turned to face me once again, taking a step forward. "I was right to be suspicious of Edward, I guess. But in reality, I really should have been suspicious of _you_. _Dammit!_ I just can't figure out how someone falls in love with a person that _isn't_ their boyfriend. Obviously, I wasn't good enough for you, because if I was, this wouldn't have happened. Was that it, Bella? Was I not good enough?" His face portrayed extreme confusion, with a bit of pleading and bitterness.

"No, Mike. That was never the problem. Edward has had my heart for some time, and I just never knew it. Or, I did, and didn't want to accept it. Like I said, I should never have agreed to go on a date with you…I…I was really confused at that moment, and you asking me out just happened to coincide with my confusion. I know saying this doesn't make it better, but I'm sorry, really."

He studied my face for a moment before responding, "This hurts, Bella. I'm not going to lie and tell you that I forgive you, because I don't know that I can just yet. Maybe next time you get into a relationship, you'll be honest with the person. I'll see you around." With that, he nodded, stuffed his hands in his pockets, and walked away.

I couldn't breathe.

I didn't exactly feel like going back into class, so I just got in my truck. The tears were still coming fast, so I let myself calm down for a minute before I attempted to drive.

I wasn't even sure how I got home, truthfully.

I drove, but I didn't remember doing it.

I didn't remember going in the house, up the stairs, and crawling into a ball on my bed.

I didn't remember my phone ringing over and over, and I didn't remember silencing the ringer.

The next thing I knew, Alice was leaning over me, putting her arm around my shoulder, and telling me it would be okay. I still hadn't said a word, but she must have found out what happened, to an extent, when Mike went back to class.

I wailed, "I'm such a jerk, Alice. Why are you friends with me?"

The tears started anew, and Alice kept shushing me, telling me I was not a jerk. She was wiping the tears away lightly with a tissue, and I kept lamenting my assholery. I was so ashamed of how I'd acted. I felt terrible for what I did to Mike, and I just couldn't understand how I was worthy of anyone's friendship or love.

My eyes drooped closed momentarily, and I thought I heard Alice talking to someone, "...won't stop crying...what should I do...just come over here, please..."

It could have been minutes, or it could have been hours later, but I woke up to find a firm, warm body sitting upright next to me on the bed. _Edward_.

"Hey there, sleepy girl." He spoke softly, as if to a scared animal. _If the shoe fits…_

Pushing my hair back off my face, he asked, "How are you feeling?" I gave a half-smile and rested my head back on the pillow.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" I didn't quite know. Did I? What had happened was _him_, technically.

"Mike and I had a fight. We broke up. I'm a selfish person. I led him on for weeks. I didn't deserve him. He treated me so well, and I...I stomped all over his heart." Tears threatened to spill over again, but I willed them back. 

_"_Sh, sh, sh, Bella. Don't cry, honey. You aren't selfish. You just...you thought you were doing the right thing. It's okay to make mistakes, Bella. You're human." His green eyes were so warm and caring, and it overwhelmed me. Fresh paths of tears made their way down my cheeks, and my breathing quickened for a minute, trying to catch up. He reached out to cup my face and gently wipe the tears that had fallen with his thumbs

"Bella, Alice went to run you a bath. Let me go check and see if everything is ready, okay?" I nodded, wiping my face with the back of my hand, and he got up off the bed to walk out to the bathroom. I heard low talking, and then Alice came back in the bedroom.

"Bella, I'm going to go home now, but I made up a bath for you, okay? Try to relax and calm down. All this crying is no good for your complexion!" She smiled and winked at me, and I couldn't help but let out a laugh at her statement.

She got up to leave, and Edward finally came back in the room. "Hey...everything is all set in the bathroom for you. I'm gonna head out, but you know you can call me anytime, right?" I smiled and nodded at him, and he reached out to pull me into a hug. _If I wasn't so depressed, I'd be doing a victory dance right now._

After they both had left, I went into the bathroom for my bath. When I entered the small room, I noticed that a few candles had been lit, and there was a white, folded towel sitting on top of the toilet seat lid. I went to pick it up, and noticed a small piece of paper sitting on it.

Wrinkling my brow, I wondered what it was. I picked it up, opened it, and recognized it as my lyrics from earlier. The ones I had never gotten to give to Edward. _How did they get here?_

I kept opening the paper to discover Edward's handwriting on the lower half.

He had written '_Eternal Flame, Bangles_', and then below that, his own lyrics.

_I Am  
When you think that no-one needs you  
Sees you or believes you  
No ones there to understand  
I Am  
I'll be there to be that someone  
When you think that no one, is there to hold your hand  
I Am  
_

I felt a flutter in my stomach, and started crying. This time, though, they were happy tears. I climbed into the tub, still holding my note with the Bon Jovi lyrics on it, and let my mind take over. I thought about how it would be to have Edward as my own, and how this time, it wasn't just a pipe dream.

* * *

**References:**

Would you believe that I don't have one reference to explain in this chapter? Wow. It must be the apocalypse. Someone check the news for plagues.

**Lyric Game songs:**

_Everybody Needs Somebody_, Blues Brothers

_Eternal Flame_, The Bangles

_I Am_, Bon Jovi

**Chapter Songs:**

_The Longest Time_, Billy Joel

_Song for the Dumped_, Ben Folds Five

**A/N**

Ok, so, I know this was sort of a transitional chapter, but without it, Mike and Bella would have stayed together for-ev-er. And who doesn't love The Blues Brothers?

So, again, sorry this is so late…I have been a very busy girl the past couple weeks. I am now a contributing poster on ThinkingofRob(dot)com, a great, no-paparazzi Rob site. I started my own new blog, Sanity-Not-Included(dot)blogspot(dot)com. I bitch. I swear. I post pictures of Rob.

A little request…starting today, there is a charity auction going on called The Fandom Gives Back (thefandomgivesback(dot)com). Please go check it out. I have nothing up for auction, but many wonderful authors and donators do. Please do what you can.

Recs this week (very busy reading again): **Bullet in the Head**, by agoraphobiantic; **Times New Roman**, by Kathy-rindhoops; **The Cocky and the Cougar**, by ikss; **Behind the Clouds**, by EchoesofTwilight; **Pisces Reverie**, by venis-envy


	13. Try It Again, With Britches

Thank you to my wonderful, lovely, rockstar betas, Tosh and Red. I don't know how you guys put up with me. For real.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, songs, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**Chapter 13-Try It Again, with Britches**

_Please Forgive Me-_David Gray

_Please forgive me  
If I act a little strange  
For I know not what I do.  
Feels like lightning running through my veins  
Every time I look at you  
Every time I look at you_

_Help me out here  
All my words are falling short  
And there's so much I want to say  
Want to tell you just how good it feels  
When you look at me that way  
When you look at me that way_

**EPOV **

I woke up the morning of Thanksgiving and immediately thought of Bella. I hoped she had found the note I left with thelyrics. It was kind of hard to miss, sitting on top of the towel and all.

Of course, I knew the lyric she had used, as The Bangles were one of the best eighties girl bands around.

Okay, fine, it also helped that my mother had played the song the afternoon before, and I recognized the lyrics on the paper.

Ah, the paper. Even though he hurt Bella, I had to thank Mike for giving it to me.

I had been very concerned when Bella didn't show up in Biology that Wednesday. She was at lunch, and it was very out of character for her to skip a class. When Mike wasn't there either, I got suspicious.

As soon as class had ended, I exited the classroom in a rush only to nearly run into Mike in the hallway. He was leaning against the lockers, but stood straight up when he saw me come out, and the sudden movement caught me off guard.

"Cullen." He said it with a hard edge, as if it hurt him to utter my name.

"Mike. What's up?" I stepped out of the doorway and crossed my arms, waiting for him to talk.

"Look…I know about you and Bella."

_Oh, fuck. _

"I'm not going to say it's okay, because it isn't. But, she sees something in you; whatever it is, it's enough that she couldn't make it work with me." He shook his head, and looked down at his shoes, huffing out a sharp breath.

_Did he mean they broke up??_

He muttered, "I can't believe I am doing this," before handing me a piece of paper. I looked at it skeptically, before he shoved it in my hand, encouraging me to take it.

"What's this, Mike?" I looked at his face again, confusion evident on my own.

"It's…it's the reason I found out. I know it was supposed to go to you, so I'm making sure it does. I…I said some things to Bella that maybe I shouldn't have, but I was pissed. I still can't say I forgive her, but I at least want her to be happy, and if that's with you, well fuck, it's with you. Just don't fuck it up, Cullen."

"Well, …thanks? I think. Where is Bella, anyway?"

"She, ah, she went home. She was a little upset. You may want to tell someone to check on her or something." He rubbed the back of his neck before shrugging and walking away.

What the fuck happened? I looked down at the piece of paper in my hand, and opened it up.

I read the lyrics, and knew what they were from. I went to my next class and sat down, pulling out a pen and quickly writing down the song title and band.

I then shot Alice a text, explaining to her what happened. She answered back, saying she'd go over there to check on Bella. I wanted to, but Alice said it might not be the best thing right away.

After school, I went home, heading straight up to my room.

I couldn't concentrate on anything, so I tried to go downstairs and watch TV. All I accomplished was becoming a master at channel surfing.

Checking my watch, I noticed that only half an hour had passed since I got home. I started pacing around the kitchen, opening the fridge and pantry doors every now and then--looking for what, I didn't know.

During one of the trips between the pantry and the island, Carlisle interrupted me mid-stride.

"Whoa, son! What's got into your britches?" He grinned and opened the fridge, pulling out the orange juice carton and filling a glass. He raised it at me, but I shook my head.

"Nothing…can't a guy just walk in his own house?"

He laughed and said, "You weren't walking. You were wearing a groove in the floor, and maybe even setting it on fire, had you gone any faster. So, what's it about?"

I hesitated before answering him. I didn't know what to tell him. He might have been disappointed in me for kind of going after another guy's girl like I had been.

"It's a girl, isn't it?" I sucked my lower lip into my mouth and bit down, slowly nodding my head.

"Bella, huh?" My head snapped up when he said her name, as I hadn't expected him to really know what was going on.

"Your mother and I do talk, you know." He smiled at me, and told me to come with him. I followed him into the living room, and we sat on the couch.

"Did you want to talk about it? I know you talked to Esme before, but maybe you'd like a guy's perspective?" I shrugged and said sure, and started telling him about some of the things that had happened.

I told him about meeting her, about hanging out with her and starting to like her. I told him about when we kissed, though I glossed over the whole thing with Kate and the real reasons we broke up. He probably knew about it anyway, seeing as how he and Mom apparently talked about _everything_. I told him about Bella dating Mike, and us playing our game. I finished by explaining what happened the day before at school.

"So you see, Dad, I'm not really sure what the hell to do here. I want to go see her, badly, but I don't want to crowd her if she needs space and time to think. I tried texting her a few times, but she wouldn't answer, and I'm not even sure she got the messages. Alice went over there, but I haven't heard anything."

"Is that the only thing you are worried about right now, Edward? The immediate future of how Bella is doing? Or is there more you aren't sure of?" I thought about it for a minute, and realized he was right.

I was worried about what would happen with Bella and me. If what Mike said was true, that she wanted me over him, or if he just assumed that. I was afraid that if Bella really thought about it, that she would decide I wasn't good enough for her. That she was wasting her time with me.

I was so goddamn scared of what her decision would be that I was unconsciously avoiding going to her. I sent Alice, when I should have gone. I only texted a couple times, and gave up when she didn't respond right away.

"You're right. Dad, I really, really love this girl." I explained my fears and then looked to him, my father, the man who had been there for me during every trial and tribulation since I had been in diapers. Surely he could offer me a solution to this, fix it even, like he fixed his patients.

"Well, Edward, I'm not sure I have a direct answer for you. There is never an easy answer in regards to love. Do you have any inkling at all of what you _want_ to do? Perhaps that would be a good place to start."

"Well, what I _want_ is to be there with her now, holding her, telling her everything will be fine. I'm sure she's upset, and I just have this _need_, this _ache_ to protect her. Is it supposed to feel like that? Like you'll absolutely fall apart if you aren't near the person?"

He chuckled and nodded his head. "Yes, my boy, I do believe that is called 'being in love'. Crazy thing, isn't it?"

I sighed and said, "It's exhausting." He smiled again, nodding in agreement, and getting a far-away look in his eye before snapping out of it.

"My shift starts soon, so I have to get going, but let me leave you with this… Women want to be shown love. They need to see it, hear it, feel it. Even when you think you've done everything you can to express it to them, you'll have to find new ways to do so constantly. Be bold. Don't hold back. Make that grand gesture. I have faith in you, boy." He then stood up, holding out his hand for me to take. I grabbed it, and he helped me up off the couch.

After a manly hug, and a 'good chat' from us both, Carlisle left. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, and pulled it out to see Alice's name flash across the screen. I nearly dropped it in my haste to answer it, and then hesitantly spoke into it, "Alice?"

"Edward, I don't know what to do! She won't stop crying and keeps berating herself for what happened with Mike. Tell me, what should I do?! She's inconsolable. She keeps drifting in and out of sleep and tears."

"Ali, slow down. Do you need me to come over? Has Bella said anything about me?"

"No, she hasn't said anything about you, but I'm pretty sure the way she's feeling has very little to do with you, and a whole shitload to do with her. Just come over here, please! Maybe you can calm her down…I just need help!"

"Okay, I'll be right over, fast as I can. Just stay with her until I get there." She agreed, and we hung up.

I ran upstairs to grab my keys from off my desk, and saw the piece of paper with Bella's lyrics sitting next to them. Carlisle's words came back to me…

_Be bold._

I could do that. I snagged a pen from the drawer and quickly wrote down a few lines of lyrics from a Bon Jovi song that I liked. Satisfied, I hauled ass to my car, and made it to Bella's house in record time. _Thank God the Chief wasn't on the same roads, or I'd have probably ended up in the impound_.

I went inside and up to Bella's room, only to find Alice pacing the hallway.

"She's asleep. Has been for a little while now though, so I'm sure she'll wake up shortly. OH EM GEE, Edward! I have never felt so useless in my entire life!" She wilted, a pouty look on her face, and I almost smiled at her.

I wrapped her up in a hug, telling her she had done just fine, if only because she was just _there_ for Bella.

"What do you think would make her feel better? What do girls like?" Her eyes lit up after a moment, and she disappeared into the bathroom. I heard running water, and she popped her head back out of the doorway, telling me she'd run Bella a bath.

I went into Bella's room, and saw her curled up in a ball on one side of the bed. I looked around and saw no real place to sit, so I carefully sat on the unoccupied side of the bed, leaning against the headboard.

It wasn't too long that I had to wait though, as Bella woke up within a few minutes. I talked to her, assuring her that she wasn't a terrible person. She cried a bit, and my heart broke for her. I told her about the bath Alice made for her, and then went to check on Alice.

"Everything ready, Ali?" She said yes, and I went in to check anyway. I fingered the note in my pocket, debating how to give it to her. My eyes fell upon the towel sitting on the toilet, and knew just where to put it.

I went back into her room just as Alice was leaving, and told Bella that everything was ready. I also reminded her that she could call me for anything and she smiled.

I couldn't help myself, I had to feel her close to me so I pulled her into a hug. I felt her shudder briefly under my arms, and then she squeezed me a little tighter for a second before releasing me.

I knew we had the party coming up that weekend and hoped beyond hope that Bella would come. I planned to make my move then. All I could do was pray she felt the same about me as I did about her.

*****

**BPOV**

Waking up on Thanksgiving Day, I felt better than I had the night before. The bath did wonders on my stress levels, and Edward's note did wonders for my sanity.

Charlie and I were heading to the Quileute reservation later that day to have Thanksgiving dinner with Sue and her kids. Seemed odd, that, but I had a sneaking suspicion that they just wanted the excuse to have a big meal with turkey.

I went downstairs to have some breakfast, and found Charlie sitting at the kitchen table.

"Mornin', kiddo." He smiled at me over his mug of coffee.

"Hey, Dad. What's going on this morning?"

"Oh, not much. Just passin' the time 'til we go to Sue's. " There was a silence as I got my cereal together, then sat down at the table.

"So…Bells…I heard about Mike…what happened?" _Hey__,__ wha__,__ who now?_ I nearly choked on the spoonful of Fruit Loops in my mouth. I coughed a few times before answering.

"Um, well, we just didn't work out. He's nice and all, but I guess there just wasn't enough there. And how in the world did you hear about that so quickly??" _Damn small-town, gossip mill._

"I had to stop out at Newton's Outfitters yesterday, and Mike was working. I asked him how you guys were doing, and he said that you weren't. He didn't really want to elaborate on it."

"Oh. Well…we had a fight yesterday and broke up. It's fine though."

"Maybe you could see about going out with Billy's kid, Jacob. He's a handsome young man, and has always been nice." I had another coughing fit…_he really needed to stop saying these things while I was eating._

"Um, Dad, I don't think that would work out."

"Why not?"

"We-ell…Jake's kind of…" I held my arm up and let my wrist go limp, hoping he'd take the hint.

"Your arm okay, Bells?" He was looking quizzically at my hand, eyebrows cinched together.

I started laughing, and said, "Dad, Jake bats for the other team. He's a Judy Garland fan. He was Cher for last Halloween. He knows how to properly mix stripes and polka dots in an outfit."

Sudden recognition showed on his face, and what I had said obviously registered with him. "Jake's…_gay_?" I smirked and nodded, still feeling the urge to laugh.

"Well. I had no idea. I suppose then he wouldn't be a good match for you."

"Not unless I wanted a shopping partner, which I already have Alice for." He raised his eyebrows, nodding slowly. It was apparent he was still processing this new development.

"Anyway, there is kind of another guy anyway…I've actually liked him for some time now. But it wasn't until very recently that I started to think that he might return the feeling." _Just maybe __not to the same extent as me._

"Which is why you and Mike didn't work out, I'm assuming." I nodded.

"Do you want to tell me who it is? Or are you going to make me guess?" I shrugged a little at him, and he just raised his eyebrows at me.

"Umm…well…I suppose it can't hurt to tell you." I laughed again before continuing. "It's Edward."

"The Cullen boy? Huh. Well, I guess that makes sense. So you think he likes you too, huh? Well, if he doesn't, he's crazy. Anybody would be crazy not to love you, kid." He stood up and placed a kiss on top of my head, and headed into the living room.

_Yeah, they'd be crazy. Right__?_

*****

_Take On Me_, A-Ha

_Talking away _  
_I don't know what I'm to say _  
_I'll say it anyway _  
_today's another day to find you _  
_Shying away _  
_I'll be coming for you love__, ok_

_Take on me _  
_Take me on _  
_I'll be gone _  
_in a day or two_

**EPOV**

We were having the party Friday night, but we had to wait until Esme and Carlisle left for the weekend. They were heading down the coast a few hours away, to a beach house we had. I'm pretty sure they knew we had parties when they left, but they never said anything. Just a short, "Be safe," and a hug and kiss.

As soon as they were gone, I high-tailed it out of there. I was not about to get stuck helping Alice again, not after the last party. That's what she had Jasper for now. I hid out at Emmett's for the remainder of the day, until it was too close to the time of the party to get away with hiding any longer.

Emmett and I went back to my house around seven, and made it just before people started showing up. Bella wasn't there yet, but I was hoping she would be soon.

Surprisingly, Mike was there. I wasn't quite sure what to say to him, or how uncomfortable things might be, but he seemed okay. He was occupied with Jessica and a beer…though I wasn't sure which was holding his attention better.

Alice was weaving in and out of the people, making sure everyone was having fun.

"Hey, Edward! Have you seen Bella?" My eyes snapped to hers, as I was unaware Bella was there already.

"No, is she here?"

"She so is! I'm pretty sure I saw her in the kitchen. What do you think of the party, huh? It's still early, even! It's gonna be legen…_wait for it_…DARY!" I laughed at her, and shook my head. Then, remembering that she said Bella was there, I took off in the direction of the kitchen.

I walked in slowly through the doorway, and saw Bella standing at the counter, her back to me. I hung back to watch her for a minute, mainly because I couldn't help myself. Her long hair moved slightly as she bopped her head in time to the music playing.

She finished whatever it was she was doing at the counter, and slowly turned around. She raised her eyes and met my gaze, freezing for a moment before a small, nervous smile showed on her lips. I smiled back, raising my hand a little in a wave.

I walked over and leaned against the counter next to her. "How are you doing, Bella?"

She looked at me sideways for a beat, before looking down. "I'm doing better, thank you. Especially after the Bon Jovi song you left me." She smiled, and then looked up at me again.

"Oh, so you did know the song? I find it to be under-rated. And you're welcome, by the way. I hated seeing you hurting and sad. I would've…I'm just glad you're okay." _Shit, I nearly said I'd have done anything for her. Not the smooth entry I was aiming for_.

She looked at the drink in her hand, and looked at my empty ones. "Drink?"

I had no idea what she was drinking, but I said sure. She turned to make me one, obviously opting to bypass the bar in the front room. I watched as she poured an ungodly amount of rum in a cup, and added a bit of pop to top it off…_s__o, apparently, we were aiming for obliteration tonight. Ok__ay__, then._

After she handed me the drink (and I gagged after taking a sip), we went down to the rec room and sat down, talking about random things.

I had no idea how long we sat down there talking, but we somehow kept refilling our drinks between stupid stories about school and friends and growing up. _I gave up counting the drinks after six or seven…maybe eight._

I could tell Bella was really loosening up, because she was flirtier and slipped more innuendos into the conversation as each cup was emptied. I was feeling pretty damn good myself by that point, so I certainly wasn't holding back either.

Looking around, I realized that everyone had cleared out of the rec room at some point, leaving Bella and I alone.

_Whoa, don't turn your head so fast, Cullen. _I focused on Bella's face for a few seconds to stop the movement in my field of vision, and tried listening to the story she was currently telling.

Well, attempting to tell, anyway. She would only get a few words in before she slurred one and started giggling, then would try to start over.

"He does this high pissed..._haha_, _pissed_...high-pitched thing with his voice..."

From what I could process, this one was about Charlie from a year or so ago, something about his Justin Timberlake impression. My mind started to wander, and I had a fleeting thought…_I want to kiss her.__ Now._

So I did.

"Bella." She stopped talking and looked at me, smiling expectantly. I reached up and held her face, saying, "I want to try this part again." _Or maybe it was, "I wan try thispar 'gain…"_

Her cheeks flushed bright red--even more than they already were due to her drunken state--and faint recognition dawned in her eyes, moments before my lips met hers. Just like the first time, it felt amazing, only this time, I didn't have stupid shit running through my head while kissing her soft lips, and it made it one thousand percent better.

Her mouth started moving insistently upon mine and one hand came up to thread through my hair, anchoring me to her. Small, soft moans of pleasure came from deep within her, and I couldn't help answering back with my own.

I took the drink from her other hand, aiming to put it on the table, but I was a bit anxious and didn't really pay much attention to what I was doing. _Don't spill, don't spill, please make it to the table._ Ah, fuck it. _Splash!_

I slowly moved up onto one knee, and began lowering Bella down onto the couch. Resting myself between her legs, one foot still on the ground, I started moving my lips up her jaw, down her neck, and across her collarbone. Her hips thrust up to meet mine every now and then, and her hands started moving down my neck and around my shoulders, pressing hard to keep me close.

My mouth found hers again, and the kissing turned urgent, frantic; our mouths crashing and teeth smashing. I slid my hands up and down her sides, my thumbs brushing the side of her breasts gently (I hoped it was gently, anyway...), and she hummed in appreciation. That single vibration moved along the process of my dick rising to full-mast. _Holy shit, she's going to __be the death of me…or at least of my dick._

Bella's hands moved around to my chest, and she pushed briefly, backing her face away from mine. "Edward, wait, wait. Upstairs." With words that started out disastrous, she said the one word that made it all better_--u__pstairs_.

I don't believe I have ever moved that fast in my life. We both stumbled on the stairs going to the first floor…_f__ucking ow!..._and then again on the stairs leading up to my room..._that's gonna leave a mark..._ Before I knew it, we were upstairs in my room, and I was fumbling with the doorknob, trying to lock it, before spinning around to re-attach my lips to Bella's.

She started grasping at my shirt hem, in an effort to remove it. Since the attempt wasn't successful, I helped out by tearing it over my head. Hesitating for a moment, she looked at me, and for the first time in my existence, I felt self-conscious. She seemed to snap out of it after a moment though, because she practically attacked me again.

The only thing on my brain was _sex sex sex_. Fuck, I must really have been wasted.

_We're gonna have sex with Bellllla. We're gonna have sex with Bellllll-a!_

Letting out a small growl, I reached for her hips and re-glued my lips to hers. She giggled and squirmed, throwing her arms around my neck, pulling me off balance.

_Engine room to Captain: We're going down! _

We landed with a thud on my bed, and I laughed while pulling her up further on the comforter. I spied the smooth expanse of skin at her waist, and wanted to see more.

Bella squealed a little in surprise when I pushed her shirt up and over her head, not satisfied until she was in nothing but her bra…_a__nd that would be going soon as well..._

The room started to spin a little again, and Bella was morphing into twins...then triplets..._shit...pick the one in the middle._ Listening to my own advice, I did go for Bella-in-the-middle, successfully landing my mouth on her stomach.

My hands were wandering all over her skin, and ended up at her zipper. I popped open the button on her jeans and yanked the zipper down, exposing little green lacy underwear...things. _They look__ed__ good on...but they'__d__ look better off._

Bella's hands were all over me as well, her hands seeking out my ass, dick, whatever she could reach. She laughed again, and said, "Can't believe thissis hap'ning...probly sooo wrong, but I don' care righ' now." My impaired brain actually was able to translate that, and it made me pause for a second…_b__ut only for a second._ She felt too damn good underneath me.

I worked my way back up to her face, which was beaming up at me...she was so fucking beautiful. _Too beautiful to treat this way._

Not now. Not fucking now. Go away, little shoulder-sitting angel. Where is your brother, the devil??

"Dammit, you are so perfect." I nearly whispered it, so I wasn't even sure if she heard me.

I tried to allow the haze of my wastedness to take over again, before I did or said something stupid. _You __were__ about to do something __even __more stupid._

I grinned at her, and gently held her face in my hands again, staring at her a second. I leaned down and kissed her slowly, savoring her taste. Pulling my face back, her big, brown eyes were so trusting, so wanting..._stop__! __This__ isn't right._

This was Bella. My beautiful Bella. I loved her, and definitely wanted to show her how true that was. Could it work this way? This drunken, sloppy way? _No_.

Damnit, why the _fuck_ did my conscience have to appear right then?! I was going to get _laid_!

I groaned a bit, pressing my forehead to hers and closing my eyes while I wrestled with my inner demons. I sat back on my heels and laid my head on her stomach, feeling extra nauseous all of a sudden. I could feel my body sway, so I placed my hands on either side of Bella, attempting to balance myself.

"Edwar' whas wrong?" _Trying to convince myself to continue, my love. Because I fucking want it. So badly. _There's no way I would feel good about it in the morning, though..._fuck._

_Stop thinking, stop thinking, stop thinking._ Really, fucking stop thinking! Thinking was not heading down the path that led to the Holy Grail!

_You can't nail Bella right now. She's a virgin. This isn't the right way to do it. You should be gentle, loving, caring__--__girls like these things to be special. Don't fuck it up by letting this go on. You _have _to stop it._

Damn you, morals and good up-bringing! Damn you to hell!

*****

_It's All Your Fault_-P!nk

_It's all your fault  
You called me beautiful  
You turned me out  
And now I can't turn back  
I hold my breath  
Because you were perfect  
But I'm running out of air  
And it's not fair_

**BPOV **

_I was making out with Edward. My Edward. Almost._ _Sort of._

When he took his shirt off, I was momentarily stunned. How was it so fair to look that damn good? It was obvious that he worked out, and boy did it pay off. I mean, I had seen him with his shirt off before, but this…this was different. This time, _I got to touch_.

_I DON'T WANT, ANYBODY ELSE_

_WHEN I THINK ABOUT YOU,_

_I TOUCH MYSELF_

Well, not exactly, Soundtrack. In this case, I much preferred to touch him.

Shaking my head to snap myself out of my trance, I licked my lips before running my hands up Edward's chest and pulling his face to mine.

The alcohol had a serious effect on my balance, and must have impaired Edward as well, because one second, we were standing in the middle of the room, and the next thing I knew, we were laughing while falling onto the bed.

Edward landed half on, half off me, and he started kissing my stomach, working his way up over my breasts, my neck, and back up to my mouth.

I felt his hands all over my body, tugging on my clothes until my shirt disappeared, leaving me a little bewildered because, _damn_, boy was good.

I laughed as he moved down my chest and stomach again, his stubble tickling me. I was missing bits of time, it seemed like I was just experiencing flashes of moments. One second, Edward was kissing my stomach, the next, my pants were half-off. _Not that I was complaining_.

It seemed I couldn't stop laughing, apparently everything was funny when I'm drunk, so I laughed again before saying, "I can't believe this is happening...it's probably so wrong, but I don't care right now." _At least I think that is what I said..._I was concentrating more on grabbing his package and fondling. I found myself giggling again. _Hehe, I said 'package'…_

Edward stilled his movements for a second, but then shook his head, as if he were denying something. _Flash_. He was suddenly back up at my face, smiling and kissing and _oooohhhhhhhhh..._

I felt something pressing on my forehead, so I opened my eyes for a moment to take a peek at him, and noticed that his eyes had a faraway look to them, as if he was thinking about something. He closed his eyes and groaned, rocking back on his heels (and almost falling over) before pressing his face to my stomach again.

I reached down and ran my fingers through his hair, asking him what the problem was. He sighed and shook his head, swaying a bit.

_No, not again. _

Brushing off my fleeting thoughts of possible rejection, I reached for the waistband of his pants, starting to tug them off, because dammit, _I wanted him_.

Then, he had to go and ruin it. Motherfucker had to say the two words that had the ability and power to crush me, absolutely.

"Bella, wait..." _Oh__,__ the fuck he did not!_

I froze, my hand still on his pants, and gathered myself briefly before nearly whispering, "What did you just say?"

He got a panicked look on his face, body wavering, and started backpedaling. "No, no, no, that's not how I meant it. Bella, no, please—."

Something inside me snapped. I could hear the beat of a song pulsing through the floor suddenly, and it echoed in stereo throughout my head.

_SHE FUCKIN' HATES ME, TRUST_

_SHE FUCKIN' HATES ME_

_LA LA_ _LA LOVE_

"You have _got_ to be kidding me right now. _Bella, wait_? WAIT?" I shoved at him, forcing him off me, and scrambled off the bed. _How the fuck could something go from so right to so, so wrong__,__ lightning-quick?_

As I searched for my shirt--_having some slight stumbling issues--_I kept letting him have it, "I've been _waiting_ for ssix goddamn monthsss! Waiting for you, always waiting! Well you know what? _I am tired of waiting!_ ARGH!! Where's my god-bless'd shirt?!" Being drunk did not bode well for searching for lost items…

"A-HA! Found 't!" I attempted to put on the shirt as I continued to have verbal diarrhea, and I knew for a fact that tomorrow, I'd be horrified at what I had told him. Especially because, while I thought I sounded eloquent, I was sure that half my words were slurred and likely lost their effect. _Motherfucking, goddamn, stupid-head shirt_. Yes...stupid-head.

"You have this magical, voodoo power over me, you know? Ha! 'Course you know. You have to know. D'you know? Wait, I don't care. Don' you dare speak." He had started to open his mouth to talk, but I cut him off with a glare. Since I was suddenly seeing multiple Edwards, I focused on the one in the middle, hoping it was him and I didn't look like I was yelling at air.

_I TRIED TOO HARD AND SHE TORE MY FEELINGS _

_LIKE I HAD NONE, AND RIPPED THEM AWAY_

"For fuck's sake, you make me _hear music_ when I come in contact with you! _What_ _is that shit?_ That. Is. Not. _Normal_!!" I realized that I wasn't wearing any shoes, as they must have been removed sometime between our entry to his bedroom and now. _Gre-eat, another thing to search for_. I spun around a little too quickly, and had to crouch down briefly and clutch my head to gain my balance again. _Breathe through the mouth, breathe through the mouth...what the hell did I drink tonight?_

"Bella, please—"

"For the lov' a _God_, don't _even_ try to talk to me righ' now. I can't even…I don't….I don't wanna hear your reasons, your excuses. The last time you said 'wait', _it broke my heart_. Edward, it killed me. Something inside me _shut down_ that night."

"But y-you said you agreed with me…you said I was right, that it shouldn't've happened!" He said this very quickly, and it took me a few extra seconds to process and catch up.

_THEN I STARTED TO REALIZE_

_I WAS LIVIN' ONE BIG LIE_

_SHE FUCKIN' HATES ME_

"Wha'd I say 'bout talking?! _I lied_, Edward. Up 'til you said those words, I wassin _heaven_. Blissed-the-fuck out."

Tears had formed in my eyes, and by that point, I was getting more embarrassed than angry. _I will not fucking cry in front of him. Hold it in, Bella. Keep it together. _Hadn't I found those damn shoes yet?

"My internal soundtrack even played _Dreamweaver__,_ 'cuz it wasso happy! I thought that you didn't want me, because of what you said, and I didn't wan' things to be weird with us. I didn't know thatchu and Kate had taken a break until the next day when I talked to Alice. But then…then at school, you were back with her, as if we had never…had never done what we did." By that time, the tears spilled over. They were flowing freely down my face, and it pissed me off. I was so angry, yet so, so hurt, and now excruciatingly embarrassed.

He took a step toward me and I held out my hands, warning him off. I looked frantically around the room again, trying to find my missing shoes. My eyes landed on one sticking out from under the bed, I lunged at it gracelessly, and then kneeled on the floor and tried to wrestle it onto my foot, failing miserably.

I felt him hover over me, and a hand tentatively reach out to touch my shoulder. It made me flinch, hard, and I stood up, nearly knocking him over. _And nearly knocking myself over, to boot._

"I t-t-tried ssso hard, Edward. I tried to get over y-you. I dated Mike, even th-though I _knew_ that it would never work. I told myself it would. Then, the lyric game we played was just so fun, and I couldn't help myssself. I wanted you _so bad_, Edward. So bad. Y-you were my Jake Ryan…my unattainable someone…you even drove the s-same car as him! But suddenly, you started t'look more 'n more available to me. Ha! _Right_. Tonight jus' proves that I was delusional th' whole time…I can't…I hafta go…I can't…"

I snatched up my shoes, and looked at him one last time, silently begging it to all be a dream. I had practically thrown myself at him, and was rejected. _Again._

I whispered, right before I left, "Why don't you want me?" His face crumpled and he tried to speak again, but I couldn't stick around to hear the reasons.

I finally turned around and ran out the door and down the stairs, nearly running into Jasper on his way up. I could hear Edward calling out my name behind me, so I tried to move faster without tripping and falling.

I attempted to pull my keys out of my pocket, fumbling and dropping them in the flowerbed outside a few times. I blindly stumbled to my truck, thinking of nothing but getting home.

As I reached to put the key in the lock, a hand grabbed my wrist. I jumped and let out a short scream, as it scared me half to death.

"Bella, what the hell are you doing?" I looked up to see Jessica gaping at me.

"Holy crap, are you okay?!" She must have seen my tear-streaked face and disheveled clothing, possibly deducing what had happened.

"I'm f-fine, Jess. I'm going home."

"Ummmm, no you're not. You're wasted." I took a second to take inventory of myself. Between the tears and the liquor, I couldn't see straight, and I didn't even have both my shoes on. _I must have looked a hot mess. Shit_.

"Jess, I need t' go home. I need to...I just wanna go home!" A fresh round of tears streamed down my face, and I covered it with my hands, sobbing in front of Jessica.

"Bella, calm down, shhhh, it's okay. I'll take you home. I was just about to leave anyway. C'mon, let's go." She helped me into her car, buckling me in and shutting the door.

I can't say I remembered the ride home, or even getting up to my bed, but the last thing I did recall was the look in Edward's eyes as he realized how wrong I was for him. _Again._

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**References**

'Legen…wait for it…DARY!'- taken from Barney (NPH) on How I Met Your Mother (TV show)

Holy Grail- Supposedly the cup that Jesus drank from at the last supper, but I like The DaVinci Code's explanation better…

**Mental Soundtrack, in order**

_I Touch Myself_, The Divinyls

_She Hates Me_, Puddle of Mudd

All songs linked in profile

**A/N **

Well. Hi there. Please don't hate me. Well, you can if you want. There is one more chapter, plus the epilogue. I love you all for being on this journey with me. I have a superficial wish to make it to 1000 reviews on this bad boy by the time all is said and done…we'll see if I make it! Oh, PS, I've opened it up to anonymous reviewers. Bring it.

*The Eddies and the Bellies are open for nominations as of tonight. Please go to www . thecatt . net/tw/Default . aspx (take out spaces around dots) and nominate your favorite stories/authors!

**Recs:** **Stolen Singer**, by nerac; **Breaking News**, by WriteOnTime; **15 Step**, by Jenny Jerkface (of Twitarded)


	14. Small Miracles of Coconuts

**A/N: **Going to make this short right now…this is the final regular chapter of this story. There will be one epilogue. There will be NO sequel. However, make sure to read the notes at the end for a sort of 'offering' from me.

_I'm giving this the toothbrush warning…as in: it's so blessed sweet that you will want to brush your teeth when you are done._

_****_I'm going to suggest listening to a song as it appears in the chapter, so please pull up _Kelsey_ by Metro Station (link on my profile). When Edward talks about Plan B, you'll know when to start listening.

Thank you AmeryMarie and RedVelvetHeaven, because there is no way this would be what it is without your help. Tosh, you made this chapter even better by marking it all to hell with your red font, lol. Special thanks to venis_envy for pre-reading a bit of this for me, and for all the pimping she has done for me.

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, songs, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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**Chapter 14 ****– Small Miracles of Coconuts**

_Coconut __S__kins_-Damien Rice

_You can hold her hand  
And show her how you cry  
Explain to her your weakness  
So she understands  
And then roll over and die_

_You can brave decisions  
Before you crumble up inside  
Spend your time asking everyone else's permission  
Then run away and hide_

_Or you can sit on __chimneys__  
Put some fire up your ass  
No need to know what you're doing or waiting for  
But if anyone should ask  
Tell them I've been licking coconut skins  
And we've been hanging out  
Tell them God just dropped by to forgive our sins  
And relieve us our doubt  
La la la la la la la..._

**EPOV**

The sound of snoring infiltrated my mind, slowly waking me from a deep sleep. Opening my eyes, I took in the form of Jasper sprawled across one half of my bed. _Huh, so that was who I __cuddled with last night…_

My head pounded as I got up and went into the bathroom--first taking a piss and then grabbing some tylenol. I took two, thought about it and then took two more. _That oughta get the job done_.

Although shirtless, I was still in my jeans from last night, so I grabbed a clean pair of warm-ups and a t-shirt from my drawer and got dressed.

I looked at Jasper again and wondered why he was in my bed instead of Alice's. Shoving hard on his arm, I woke him up.

"Dude. What the fuck are you doing in my bed?"

He opened one eye and stared at me for a moment, before groggily responding, "You were a pussy last night and practically fell asleep hugging me. I couldn't really move, so I just went with the flow and passed out myself."

"I did what? Why the hell would I do that? What happened--oh, _shit_." _Bella._ Where was she? Why wasn't she here?

She left. She ran away from me. I began to remember what had happened, from us kissing, to the bed, to her getting pissed at me and leaving. Why the fuck didn't I go after her?

"Jasper, what the hell happened? The last thing I remember is Bella yelling at me, running out the door, and you being there! What happened?"

"Man, you wanted to go after her, but I stopped you. I could see you guys were running on empty--hey, that's a song--oh, sorry." He scratched his head and smiled sheepishly. "Not to mention, you were both pretty wasted. I didn't think the results would be all that awesome if you went after her right then. I know how much you like her, even if you've never come out and said it. I thought it would probably be better for you both to sleep it off, whatever happened. Was I wrong?"

I thought about it for a second, and realized he was probably right.

"No, you were right. I would have gone after her and completely confessed how in fucking love I am with her--and yes, I am--and she'd have never believed it. Wouldn't have gone well." I dropped my face into my hands, my mind frantically working to figure out how to fix everything.

My phone buzzed from somewhere in the room, and I nearly tripped over my feet in my haste to locate it. I finally found it under a pile of books on the floor, and checked the message.

It was from Bella and it left me completely confused. I called her immediately, unwilling to let her take the easy way out with texting.

She didn't answer though, and it frustrated the ever-loving fuck out of me. I left a vague voicemail basically begging her to call me back.

After waiting an hour, she still hadn't responded, so I called again. No answer. Why was she hiding from me? Did she think I was mad at her about last night? Was she still mad at me about last night? Hell, I needed her to at least know that I wasn't mad. I left another message trying to get that much across. I probably came through as a rambling idiot, but she was driving me crazy with this shit. _Women._

I didn't have to wait long for a response.

*****

_Vulnerable_- Secondhand Serenade

_And your slowly shaking finger tips_  
_Show that you're scared like me, so_  
_Let's pretend we're alone_  
_And I know you may be scared_  
_And I know we're unprepared_  
_But I don't care_

_Tell me, tell me_  
_What makes you think that you are invincible?_  
_I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure_  
_Please don't tell me that I'm the only one that's vulnerable_  
_Impossible_

**BPOV**

I woke up to the feel of a dry and scratchy face--like someone had poured salt on me after I jumped in a pool and then let it air dry. _Oh, right, tears…_

Wait, tears? Why did I have tear tracks on my face? I moved to sit up in bed and…_oh shit, do _not_ get up right now._I groaned and flopped back down spread eagle because I couldn't be bothered to find a more comfortable position.

So, major hangover, tears, still in my clothes…oh, my God. I started having flashes of last night. Little bits and pieces of the evening pummeled my consciousness.

…_talking to Edward in the kitchen…_

…_talking—no, making out with Edward in the basement…_

…_moving upstairs to his room…_oh, my God, again.

Please, subconscious, please tell me you are making that shit up. Stop the slideshow! I wanted to get off the ride!! _Well, you would have gotten off last night if you hadn't gotten so pissed off. _Shut it. Wait--pissed off?

The images kept coming at me--my shirt coming off, Edward's shirt off, our lips together, over and over, his mouth all over me, him stopping us, _again_.

Oh. I covered my mouth with one hand as realization dawned on me...

_Oh._

So _that _was why I'd gotten pissed off. _But you didn't let him talk._

He said wait. He didn't want to continue. _How d__id__ you know that? You started freaking out __on__ him__--__yelling and not allowing him to speak._

I couldn't handle being rejected again, and…wait one goddamn minute. Why the hell was I arguing with _myself_?? I needed serious mental help.

Shaking my head and shielding my eyes from the uncharacteristically bright sun streaming through the window, I slowly sat up again. Groaning, I made myself get out of bed and into a hot shower. The scalding water helped wash away the toxins of the night before. Physically, I felt a smite better as I headed down the stairs into the kitchen. I searched through the cupboards looking for some Fruit Loops.

Preparing a bowl for myself, I headed into the living room where Charlie was lounging on the couch watching…something. What in the hell _was_ he watching?

The screen showed some very interesting-looking characters wearing brightly colored, foam costumes. The red one actually looked like a giant dick with an S.T.D.…

Oh, wait--it was that one kids' show. The one that randomly had famous people come on it and dance around…_Yo_ _Crabba_ something…

Oh! _Yo_ _Gabba_ _Gabba_. That's it!

Wow.

Trip-py.

"You know, this show would have been a hit back in the 60s, I think. What, with the bright colors and crazy songs…I'm starting to feel high just watching it now. Not that I, uh, ever did anything like that in my day..." He looked at me out of the corner of his eye guardedly as he trailed off. Realizing that I wasn't responding, he turned to look at me fully. Concern formed in his expression when he saw my state, as my face likely still wore the spoils of inebriation and distress.

"You okay, Bella? You look like you've been crying all night or something. Do I need to shoot someone?" He sat up like he was going just about to throw on his shit-kicking boots and grab his shotgun, so I hastily assured him I was fine. _Well, relatively speaking._

"No, no, no, Dad! I'm okay. Well, I will be, anyway. It's complicated."

"Is this about that Cullen boy? You seemed happy about seeing him yesterday. Did he do something?" His brow creased as he came to an erroneous (_well…_) conclusion. "Did he try something funny? I swear I will rip his b—."

"Charlie! Stop! He didn't try anything…well. Okay, he didn't try anything that I didn't _want_ him to try." Jesus Christ, now I was telling Charlie about last night? That was not going to go over well.

"Er…um, okay. Please, no details--really. I can't think…er…just…ok, no." He looked extremely uncomfortable, so I tried to think quickly about what I could share that wouldn't squick him out indefinitely. _Squick?_ Blame Alice…

"Let's just say that my night didn't end well. I think that I not only closed the door on any future romantic relationship with Edward, but I may have screwed up our friendship as well." My emotions were catching up with me, and the last few words came out shakily. My hands were starting to shake, so I sat my cereal bowl down on the coffee table.

"Aw, baby! It can't possibly be that bad! What could you have done that would cause all that? Shit—er, shoot, don't…don't cry…" He looked helpless. His arms moved as if he wanted to hug me but wasn't quite sure how to go about doing it.

I couldn't help the tears that came, and I swiped at them angrily, frustrated with myself for my involuntary reactions. "I think I was a jerk, Dad…and I'm afraid I won't be able to fix it." _S__o you _were_ listening to me earlier?_ Shut. It.

"Can't you just talk to him? Tell him you're sorry? It can't be that bad, Bella." _Oh, y__es, it could be_.

I thought about last night--yelling at him and then running away without even letting him explain what he meant--and realized that I really had been an ass. The only thing I could think about in my stupid, rum/vodka/gin-induced fog (_Jesus, what all did I drink?_) was all the bullshit that had happened between us during the preceding months, and how I had thought that we were finally at a place where we could just _be_.

As soon as I heard the words fall from his mouth—_Bella, wait—_I snapped and my verbal filter completely vanished. I found myself telling him how I felt about everything that had happened to me since knowing him.

Oh, my God. _You know, you__'ve been__ saying that a lot._ I told him about the soundtrack.

No, there was no fixing it after that. I probably scared him away with my insanity.

"Ummm…I…don't think that he'll really want to be talking to me after last night. Things were said that I'm not sure can be taken back…"

"Well, I say you try. Can't hurt to try. And, if he still rejects you…well, there are other fish in the sea. He's obviously blind if he can't see what he's missing." He smiled shyly at me and, that time, I went in for the hug instead of letting him twist in the wind. He smiled again--wider--and kissed the top of my head. No more words were needed…he had already exceeded his yearly quota as it was.

My eyes drifted back to the television and the strange monsters onscreen telling me not to bite my friends. Charlie laughed a little, shaking his head, and said, "Now, about this, Yo Gabba Gabba-thingie…am I supposed to be enjoying it? 'Cause the songs are pretty catchy."

I laughed and said, "You do know it is a kids' show, right?" He shrugged and smiled before turning back to the TV while I finished my cereal in silence, thinking about what to do.

I supposed it wouldn't hurt to try contacting him, even if it was just to apologize for being a giant asshole. Even if he couldn't forgive me, I had to try.

After finishing my breakfast, I went upstairs to figure out what to do. I didn't think I had the guts to call him. I figured I'd probably revert back to how I used to be around him..._mute_.

Could I text him? Maybe. It would be the coward's way out, but probably the only way I could do what I needed to do. I knew there was no way I could see him in person. That would only result in him emitting his EMP and stunning my sensibilities, thus cementing my appearance as an insane idiot.

Texting it was.

Let's see...how would I go about wording it? I could go with formal…

_**Edward, I'm sorry that I yelled at you and ran away, I completely and fully understand if you never want to **__**speak**__** to me again. Sincerely, Bella.**_

Huh? No. _Backspace. Backspace. Backspace, backspace, backbackback..._

Maybe go with nonchalant?

_**Hey**__**,**__** Edward**__**. **__**S**__**orry about last night**__**--**__**I'm a nut. I'll catch ya around.**__**-**__**B**_

I... Nope. That's not gonna work either. _Backspace. Backspace. Backspace, backspace, backbackback... _

I couldn't come up with anything good enough to really convey my apologies. In the end I went with lame.

_**I'm so sorry.**__** -B**_

My thumb hesitated over the 'send' button for a minute or two, while my inner voice battled with itself over whether to actually send it. I'd had enough of the nonsense, so I finally just pushed it.

It was kind of like ripping off a bandaid--you had to do it quick or it would hurt like hell.

I'm not sure that the person who made that saying up actually tried it, because it hurt no matter how you did it--fast or slow.

I went to lay down on my bed to try and sleep away the afternoon, but before I could fall asleep, my phone started ringing.

_EVERY TIME WE TOUCH, I GET THIS FEELING_

Yes, I made it Edward's ringtone on my phone. I'm shameless. I'm aware. Don't judge.

I hadn't expected him to try to call me, and it startled me so badly, I nearly dropped the phone. I still wasn't ready--or able--to speak with him in real time, so I didn't answer. After a minute, the voice mail tone chimed, letting me know that Edward had left a message.

With trembling hands, I pushed the 'ok' button to listen to whatever he'd said even though I wasn't sure if I really wanted to hear it.

There were really only two ways it could go--either he told me that he never wanted to speak to me again, or he accepted my apology and we could at least be friends. I was hoping for the latter, because I didn't know if I could really be happy without him in my life in some manner.

"_Bella, please call me. Please talk to me. __I-I'd really like to talk __to __you. There are so many things I need to say, but I'm not going to say them on your voice mail. Just...call me."_

I sat down on my bed and laid back, repeating what he'd said over and over again in my head. He wanted to talk to me. In person. Or on the phone, at the very least. It scared the hell out of me.

I must have zoned out and been laying there longer than I realized, because I was startled again by my ringing phone. It was Edward…again. My thumb started to repeat the actions of earlier, but froze over the 'answer' button, confused by the contradicting neurons firing from my brain telling it to both answer and _not_ answer it. It stopped ringing before I made a decision.

The voice mail chime went off again, signaling for the second time that I had a voice mail from Edward. I quickly pressed the button to call, wanting--but also, not--to hear what he'd said.

"_God, Bella, please don't hide from me. Please. You aren't answering, and you aren't responding, and I don't know what to think. Your text said you were sorry, but what exactly are you sorry for? Do you regret what happened last night? Because...well, I don't. I don't__,__ Bella, and I need you to know that, but you won't talk to me. I don't know what to do, Bella! Please, I just need to talk to you. I need you to know...I __just __really, really need you to __call me back__.__ Please."_

My heart broke. He sounded so desperate and lost. Funnily enough, he sounded the way I _felt_.

_LISTEN TO YOUR HEART, WHEN HE'S CALLING FOR YOU_

_LISTEN TO YOUR HEART, THERE'S NOTHING ELSE YOU CAN DO_

Primo time to show up, soundtrack. Thanks for the tip. You're certainly not subtle.

I wasn't sure I could trust myself to speak right then, so I decided to text him again. If he wasn't mad at me and didn't hate me, then maybe I could send him something to let him know how utterly terrified I was.

It was still my turn in our lyrics game, and I thought of one that would work well to convey my feelings to him. It's what the game was really about anyway--using songs to show each other how we felt.

I opened up a new text, and typed in the lines. After reading them over a couple times to make sure they were correct, I decisively pushed the 'send' button and started praying that I wasn't making a mistake.

*****

**EPOV**

I read the text again, and it registered that she was back to playing our game.

_**But are we scared to take the ride? **_

_**Or dare to look inside**_

Scared. She was scared? But why? Did_ I _scare her? I was so fucking confused.

I sat and thought for a bit about how to answer her, because I really didn't want to say the wrong thing again. It almost seemed as if she was cutting things off before they even had a chance to get started...like she was cutting _me_ off for fear of what she couldn't predict. I had to say, that wasn't entirely fucking fair. Dammit.

For so long, we had gone back and forth, push and pull, small step forward and two giant steps back. I was sick of it. I was tired of games and tired of the bullshit.

I had to lay it all out there for her to see, had to lay myself bare. If she didn't want what I was offering…well, then, _fuck__. _We just didn't have what I'd thought we'd had. There was no other way, though. We couldn't keep doing this dance.

My talks with Esme, Emmett, Carlisle, and now Jasper floated through my head. They all said things in different ways, but they all came to the same conclusion: there was something special between Bella and I, and it was time to take that leap, time to take that chance. I knew that she had taken a leap by apologizing--even if she did do it in a text--so it was my turn.

I shot her back a quick message, providing the name and artist of her song, and then finished with a lyric of my own.

I knew what I had to do, and I needed to gather up a few things in order to do it.

*****

I pulled up to Bella's house and saw that not only was her truck in the driveway, but the Chief's patrol car was too. _Fan-fucking-tastic_.

I decided to go up to the door first, in the hope that Bella would talk to me and I could avoid making a scene.

I knocked on the door and it took a minute before I heard someone on the other side. It swung open and…Lady Luck was definitely _not_ on my side.

"Cullen. What can I do for you," Chief Swan stated, rather than asked. _Cover balls discreetly with hand...check_.

"Um, good afternoon, Chief. How are you--"

"Cut the shit, Cullen. What do you want?" Okay, to the point. I could do this. I could.

"I'm here to see Bella, sir."

"Well, what if she doesn't want to see you?"

"Well, sir--no offense--but I'd prefer if she told me so herself." He looked back inside briefly before stepping out onto the porch and closing the door behind him.

"Cullen, here's what I know. I know that my little girl is upset over _you,_"—he punctuated it by poking his finger in my chest-- "and it was because of something that happened last night. Now, she won't tell me what--and honestly, I don't really want to know _what_--but I can only assume negative things from that. Should I assume negative things from that, Edward?" _Oh shit, he used my first name. That can _not_ be good._

"Sir, I can assure you that nothing happened between us last night." Eyebrow raise. "I mean, things stopped before--" Both eyebrows raised. _Fall back and punt. _"No sir, you should not assume negative things. I think Bella and I had a misunderstanding and, sir, I'd _really_ like to straighten it out."

"_Edward_, I need you to tell me right now--and I will know if you are lying, son, you better believe that--what exactly are your intentions with my daughter? I had to spend the morning comforting her over something I'm not quite sure I understood. And, I also haven't formed an opinion on whether I'm going to give you another chance or not."

I cleared my throat nervously before responding. I had a feeling that that was the moment that would either make or break me, so I chose my words carefully.

"Chief Swan, I have nothing but good intentions in regards to your daughter. She's brought out a side of me that I never knew existed. I'm happy when she's around. My family loves her. I...I love her. I do, sir. I haven't told her that yet, so please don't say anything to her.

"We've had a lot of miscommunication, and I'm honestly tired of it. I want her to know these things, and I'd really, really like to talk to her." I had started my speech looking him in the eye, but, as I spoke and his face remained expressionless, I grew less sure of myself and my gaze wandered to somewhere near his right shoulder.

He grunted once and my eyes snapped back to his, waiting--somewhat impatiently--for his response.

"Look, boy, those were some pretty words you said. Now I don't doubt your sincerity--and I believe you when you say you love her, because I can see it all over your face--but here's the thing...

"When you knocked, she saw your car and knew it was you. She told m—she said--she wasn't ready to talk to you. She appealed to me, her father and, as her father, that's what I have to go by. I suggest that you come up with a Plan B though. She may not be ready but, sometimes, everyone needs a little push. Understand what I'm saying?" I nodded. "Good."

"Sir, for what it's worth, I do have a Plan B. I was just hoping it wouldn't come to that, but…I guess it has. My apologies in advance."

He eyed me warily before nodding, stepping back into the house and closing the door.

_Okay, Plan __B._

I turned to go back to my car, opening the trunk up when I got there. I pulled out my keyboard stand and the portable speakers I had brought from home, and then set them up in the front yard, near Bella's window.

I grabbed my keyboard from the passenger seat and fit it onto the stand.

Plugging the auxiliary cord in, I ran the other end back to the charging outlet in my car. _Thank god for small miracles in science._

As I walked back over to my keyboard I caught a glimpse of the curtains moving in the living room. I didn't know if it was Charlie or Bella, but my money was on the Chief. I was sure that Bella would still be up in her room where she could see me without getting caught.

I looked down at the keys and prepared myself for what I was about to do. _J__ust do it, you big pussy!_ When did my inner voice become such a dick?

I placed my fingers on the keys, and began playing the first few bars. Knowing full well that Bella could hear me, I took a deep breath and began singing.

_So take one word, you said  
You put it in your bed  
You rest your tiny head on your pillow_

I briefly glance up at Bella's window, hoping to see anything that would let me know she was watching. Seeing nothing yet, I continued with the next verse.

_You wonder where you're going next  
You've got your hair pushed to my chest  
And now you're hoping  
That someone will let you in_

_Well, I swear I'll let you in_

I looked up again to the window and this time I got what I wanted…no, what I _needed_. Bella was peering curiously out of the window.

Starting to smile, I kept going.

_You know I'll let you in  
Oh Bella, you_

My eyes didn't leave her window for the remainder of the song.

_So don't let anyone scare you  
You know that I'll protect you  
Always, now through the thick and thin  
Until the end_

_You better watch it  
You know you don't cross it  
Because, I'm always here for you  
And I'll be here for you_

_I know, I know, I know  
I know how it feels  
Believe me, I've been there  
And I know, I know, I know  
I know what it feels like  
Tell me, Bella  
_

_  
And I'll swim the ocean for you  
The ocean for you  
Whoa, Bella  
And I'll swim the ocean for you  
The ocean for you  
Whoa, Bella  
Oh you, darling_

_Now it's gonna get harder  
And it's gonna burn brighter  
And it's gonna feel tougher  
Each and every day_

_So let me say, that I love you  
You're all I've ever wanted  
All I've ever dreamed of to come  
And yes you did come_

I paused for a moment to make sure she was watching me, and then sang the final verses with more conviction and emotion than I ever knew I was capable of.

_I want you so bad, can you feel it too?  
You know I'm so, I'm so in love with you  
I want you, so much  
I need you, so much  
I need your, I need your, your touch_

_And I'll swim the ocean for you  
The ocean for you  
Whoa, Bella  
And I'll swim the ocean for you  
The ocean for you  
Whoa, Bella_

_And you never, ever let me in  
(Let me in)  
_

I repeated the last line several times before stilling my fingers and then, staring straight at Bella, I sung it softly one final time.

I looked back down at the keys briefly to turn off the board, and then went straight to the front door for the second time in less than thirty minutes. The results were better that time though.

"Chief," I said the moment the door opened, nodding my head. Charlie smirked at me and jerked his thumb in the direction of the stairs, indicating I should go up to Bella's room. _Thank fucking god. _

"Thank you, sir."

"Just be good to her, son. That's all I ask. I'm going to head over to Sue's, give you kids a little privacy." I nodded solemnly, smiled, and then nearly tripped over my damn feet trying to get to the stairs and up them in one piece.

Once outside of Bella's door, I hesitated before finally knocking. A quiet voice came from inside, "Come in."

I opened the door and walked in to find Bella sitting by the window, still looking outside at my set-up. At least, she was looking in that direction. When she turned to me, her eyes looked far away, like she was lost in her head.

"Edward..." Her mouth tried unsuccessfully to form words, so I decided to take charge of the conversation.

"Bella...I forgot...to tell you..." She looked at me as if I was about to tell her the secret of life, her face full of hope and yet carefully guarded.

"What, Edward? What did you forget to tell me?"

I love you. _I love you_. Say it!

"I forgot to tell you...I love you." She lost her composure for a moment, then settled her face back into a mask. I could see how bright her eyes were shining though, and she couldn't fool me.

She whispered, "Sarah McLachlan, _I Love You_."

Shit, she thought I was still playing the game!

I rushed across the room to her. Reaching up to touch her face, I ran the pads of my fingers over her brow. "No, Bella. No. Not a lyric. My own words._I _love you. I have for a while--longer than I actually realized, I think."

Her tears spilled over. A warm smile graced her face and she asked me to repeat it like she didn't believe me. "Really, Edward? You have no idea how long I have waited to hear you say that. To be honest, I thought I never would." She gave a small laugh and wiped the tears away from her face.

I used my thumbs to help her before cupping her face in my hands and saying, "I'm going to kiss you now, if that's okay with you."

She smiled again and nodded. I grinned back at her before leaning forward and pressing my lips to hers.

*****

**BPOV**

_Yes. _

_Yes. _

Yes!

It was finally happening, and there were no crossed wires, no mixed signals, no confusion--it just _was._

Edward was kissing me after telling me he loved me. He _loved_ me. That was by far, more than I could have ever hoped for and beyond what I could have dreamed.

When the day began, I truly thought that I might never get to really talk to him again. Then the voice mails, the texts--especially the last text he'd sent--instilled a sense of hope that I clung to like a life preserver.

_**Blue October, Overweight**_

_**Don't discard me, baby no, just because you think I mean you harm.**_

I had no idea where it was from, but he struck right at the heart of my fear. I stated it all those months ago--how he had the power to hurt me--and so I stayed clear of him for as long as possible.

But maybe that was unfair of me--to assume things. _Remember your Freshman year Math teacher always said, "To assume makes an ass of 'u' and 'me'._ Yeah, well…I never paid attention in Math apparently.

I had been sitting and thinking about what to do, when I heard a knock at the front door.

I peeked out my window and, to my shock, saw Edward's Porsche parked on the street. Startled, I backed away from the window and ran out my door, catching Charlie at the base of the stairs. I'd asked him not to let Edward in, mainly because I still had no idea what I would say. I prayed that he would heed my request.

I went back to my room, closed the door nearly all the way and sat down on my bed. I heard the front door shut, but didn't hear anyone coming up to my room, so I guessed that Charlie did as I asked. _You know__,__ you are an idiot_. And you aren't really helping.

A short time later, I heard music coming from outside. It sounded like someone was playing piano, but that wasn't possible. Then I heard singing. Holy Jesus, Edward was singing to me. _Lucky bitch!_ Can we stop with the hating for a while? Thanks.

I walked over to my window and looked outside, shocked by what greeted me. Edward was out there, playing the keyboard and singing. He looked up and started smiling when he saw me. His eyes never lost contact with mine as he kept singing.

When he sang the lines about loving and wanting me, my breath caught in my throat. I absorbed it, but didn't dwell on the words. They were part of the song, a song which I didn't know, but it was familiar enough that I didn't think he had written it.

He finished the song and darted toward the front door, while I stayed rooted in place, unable to move.

I heard a soft knock at my door, and instinctively knew it was him. I granted him entrance, but wasn't able to turn around just yet. After a few moments filled with silence, I slowly turned. I saw him, his green eyes, his stupid, wild hair, his perfect mouth...I couldn't form any words.

He started to tell me something, but he couldn't seem to get words out any better than I could. _Apparently, 'song' is the only language you both speak well_.

He seemed to know that I needed him to finish and that's when he told me...that he loved me. At first I thought he was reciting more song lyrics, as I knew that Sarah song, and he was, but not intentionally.

The tears that had been threatening to fall all day finally spilled over, but as happy tears. Tears of shock, really. I never thought I'd hear those words.

When he said that he was going to kiss me, I was so deliriously happy, I could have jumped out of my skin.

Kissing Edward--while completely sober--was the best feeling I've ever experienced in my life--there was warmth and softness, pleasant pressure and absolute need, all rolled up in one moment.

My hands crept up his back, pulling him incrementally closer, as one of his hands snaked around my head to tangle in my hair, anchoring my mouth to his. I sighed deeply, tightening my grip on him.

His arms wrapped around my waist to pull me up higher on his body. I felt his tongue lightly tracing my lower lip and I opened my mouth to him. My tongue met his tentatively--testing the waters, so to speak--before all thought and reason flew out the window. It was like a switch was flipped.

Our mouths opened wider to accommodate each other, and our movements became slightly more frantic. I felt, rather than heard, Edward groan lightly and I knew he wanted me as much as I wanted him.

This time, I stopped it. I wanted him so goddamn badly, but I knew that we needed to talk.

There was so much we needed to air, to straighten out first..._then_ we could get to the good parts.

When I pulled away, Edward whined and moaned at the same time..._whoaned? Add that to the Bellictionary._

"Edward, believe me, I'd love nothing more than to keep kissing you--among other things--but I think we need to talk first." He leaned his forehead against mine, and nodded, accepting it.

We sat down on my bed and I played with the fingers on his right hand, tracing them over and over with my own.

"So…I think I owe you an apology. I tried doing it earlier, with the text, but I know that was the easy way out. For that, I'm sorry. For last night, I'm sorry. I was so wasted, all I could focus on was the fact that you had stopped us again. It didn't matter what your reason was, I just felt rejected. I should have let you explain, but I was so angry. I was angry...and sad. Sad that you didn't feel the same way I did--at least, that's was what I thought."

He started to shake his head, and began speaking. "Bella, I stopped it because I had a feeling we were going to do something that you might be regret in the morning. I just...I just wanted to make sure that you were really aware of what we were doing--not that I was in any better state to be making decisions." I nodded as he spoke, completely and fully understanding that I had been an idiot. "To be very honest, I'm shocked that I had the sense to stop at all. You have no idea how badly I wanted to keep going.

"At the same time, I can't say that I'm mad or disappointed with the way things happened. I think that we both would have regretted how it, if we had gone through with it. I sure as hell wanted it but, looking back, I'd have been furious with myself in the morning. I hope you understand that."

I smiled and looked at him. "I do. I feel the same…now. Last night was a different story."

"Good." He smiled. _Damn, I loved seeing him smile_.

His tone became playful and he tapped my arm. "So, did you know the lyric I sent earlier?"

I cocked my head to the side and replied, "Ah, no. Actually, I didn't. It seemed familiar, but I just couldn't place it."

He grinned broadly and announced, "Well, in that case, I. Win."

I laughed. "Damn, I suppose you do. What was the song, anyway?"

"Ummm, don't laugh. It was Elton John, _Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me._ Esme likes Elton." He shrugged and blushed a little.

"So, now that you've won, what's that favor you want for winning?" I smiled, but had no fricking clue what he would say.

He appeared thoughtful for a moment, then began, "Well, Bella…" he paused to brush my hair back from my face, "I've told you that I love you...but I think that I'd like my favor to be for you to just _let me_ love you. Don't be scared. Let me in and let me treat you so good you'll never, ever want to leave. I feel the need to do this, so please, just let me."

I was overcome by his words and floundered a bit before stuttering out the words, "Y-yes, Edward. I-I'm sorry. I should have told you long ago how completely in love with you I am--and have been for quite awhile. We could have saved so much time!" I laughed for a second before speaking again, "I love you and promise I'll never hold back again. Pinky swear." I held out my pinkie, wiggling it at him.

He chuckled, then hooked his pinky around mine and nodded sharply. "Now c'mere," he growled.

_Sweet Jesus!! We __were__ finally going to finish what was started!_

Before I knew it, he had pulled me into his arms and we were on my bed--in full-blown, make-out mode. I had an irresistible urge to giggle, but I held it back. It was like I was in an alternate reality and I wanted to keep pinching myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming.

Edward's hands were all over me, and I relished it. He was resting--half-on, half-off me--with our legs intertwined. One hand was snaking up my shirt along my ribcage, and the other was wrapped around the back of my neck.

I felt a sudden, bold surge take over me, and I reached down, lightly brushing the front of his jeans with the back of my hand. I could tell he was hard underneath the fly and it made me want to push more firmly against it. So...I did.

Edward froze, and then pulled back to look me in the eyes. "You, uh...whatcha doin'?"

I could tell he wasn't sure how to react, so I smiled and said, "I'm picking up where we left off, Edward."

I saw a brief flash of something in his eyes..._lust_? Oh, yes. Yes, it was definitely lust.

"You're sure?"

"I've never been more sure of something in my life." He growled lightly and kissed me fiercely before trailing kisses down my neck and chest. My hands flew up to his hair and I moaned, loving the way his mouth felt on me.

He worked his way down my stomach, his nose nudging my shirt up. His hands followed, slowly exposing my skin…inch…by…inch. He kissed every newly revealed bit as if he were worshiping me…and I have to say, I certainly _felt_ worshiped.

I wanted to move things along, so I grabbed the hem of my shirt and whipped it off over my head, surprising him. His eyes stayed on me as he leaned down and pulled one bra cup down to lightly trace around my nipple with his finger. He dipped his head down and followed the same path with his tongue, making me gasp. I threw my head back into the pillow and my back arched as I tried to bring his mouth as close as possible. He reached under me, unsnapped my bra, and quickly yanked it down my arms, baring me to him.

Shifting his attentions to my other breast, his other hand cupped the one he had just left and his fingertips played with my nipple.

_Holy shit__! W__hy didn't anyone tell me something could be so erotic and __still__ just not enough?_ I never wanted him to stop, yet I wanted him to move on to other areas so that I could find out just how talented he was.

I reached down to pull on the hem of his shirt. He allowed me to drag it up his torso and then lifted his arms to let me completely remove it. _I would never, ever get tired of seeing that body. _

_Holy lord._

He didn't allow much time to pass before popping the button on my jeans open and sliding the zipper down. I shimmied my hips, helping him pull them down and off my legs, and then it was my turn. My hands frantically reached for his fly, ripping the buttons open. _Gotta love a man with button-fly jeans._

He slid them over his ass and down his legs, kicking until his feet were completely free of the denim. Climbing onto my bed, he sat back on his heels briefly and looked me up and down. I had the urge to cover myself, but the something in his eyes told me not to.

As he crawled up my body, he took his time to touch me…here…and there…under my knees…and up my sides, making me giggle a bit. He smiled softly at me before lowering himself onto me.

Careful not to put too much weight on me, he held my face in his hands, and said, "Bella, I love you, so much. I need you, too much, but I don't care."

He kissed me with so much passion, I thought I'd pass out, but lucky for me, I didn't. _Smart girl_.

One hand made its way down my stomach, toying with the waistband of my underwear. His fingers snaked under the band, searching out the heat and wetness…_h__e certainly __wasn't __disappointed_. All he needed to do was look at me most days, and I needed a change of underoos.

He inhaled sharply and closed his eyes, leaning against my shoulder. Taking advantage of it, I kissed his neck before reaching down to palm his erection. When I squeezed lightly, he groaned and took hold of my cotton boyshorts, yanking them down my legs as best he could. I kicked them the rest of the way off and let my legs fall open once more.

His hand returned to to me--his fingers slipping up and down my slit, teasingly--and then suddenly, he slid a finger inside. I bucked into his palm, crying out sharply before attacking his lips with mine.

He pushed his boxer-briefs off his hips and did the, 'please get the fuck off my foot' kick until they fell to the ground. Thinking of it at the last possible second, he stopped and reached down for his pants. Reaching into the back pocket, he pulled out a foil square. _Oh, what a Boy Scout._

I raised an eyebrow and he actually looked chagrined. "At least you can't say I'm never prepared." I smiled and shook my head, laughing lightly.

He looked down at me one more time, and started to ask, "You are absolutely su…?"

"Yes, Edward. I am. Now shut the fuck up and make love to me…please." I gave him my flirtiest smile, fluttering my eyelashes and everything.

"Yes, ma'am." He chuckled lightly and smoothed my hair off my forehead. "I'm sorry if this hurts. I'll try my best to go slow." I nodded and gently tugged on his hair, pulling his face to mine for a slow, languorous kiss.

He teased my tongue with his and deepened the kiss as I felt him at my entrance. With one small thrust, he forced his way in just a bit. I took a second to relax, trying to make it easier on both of us. His breath caught in his throat, and his breathing quickened.

Another thrust pushed him in further, but I still didn't feel pain. I mostly felt discomfort--like I was being invaded by a foreign object, which really wasn't too far from the truth. _Hehe, foreign, I bet you could get him to talk with an accent. _Oh my god, go away. Trying to have a moment. _Sorry__._

I dug my fingers into his hair, continuing to kiss him and trying to keep the good feelings coming.

I raised my hips a bit, allowing him to slip in more. He groaned a bit, and I could tell he was holding back. "Just do it," I whispered in his ear after breaking from his mouth.

He buried his face in my neck again before pushing all the way in. I braced myself for the onslaught of pain, for some amount of trauma, but...nothing. It wasn't the best feeling in the world…yet…but it didn't hurt.

Edward was holding his breath, waiting for my reaction. "I'm okay. I'm fine. Move, please." He let out his breath and made a small moaning noise while simultaneously beginning to move his hips--in and out--in a slow rhythm. As I adjusted to him, it actually began to feel good.

Feeling him moving in me, I picked up my legs, wrapping them around his waist. Doing so created a new angle, and it must have been a good one, because he let out a deep moan and squeezed his eyes shut even tighter, grimacing a bit. I felt him slip in further, and gasped. Holy shit, that felt good.

"Bella, I don't know...how much longer...fucking, God, you feel amazing." I felt his hand slide between us, pressing against me firmly. _Hot damn, they weren't lying when they called it 'The Magic Button'._

He kept rubbing, alternating pressure and speed, until I could feel something building inside--coiling like a spring, tighter and tighter. I gripped his neck tightly, moving my hips with his until I was gasping for breath and at the brink of my orgasm, ready to fall off the cliff.

Edward made a more forceful thrust while his fingers moved quicker…and that was enough to send me over the edge. I let out a loud cry as I came. I was pretty sure I also swore…multiple times.

"Holy Jesus, fuck, oh, my God, oh, my God, holy....shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit."

I was moaning the words into his ear. The cursing must have done something for him, because he grunted suddenly. His hands moved to my ass, erratically pushing and thrusting, over and over, as he groaned. "Oh shit… fuck, fuck, fuck, fuuuu-uck!" _Heh, I kinda liked the swearing too_.

Finally stilling, he collapsed on me, and my arms automatically went around his shoulders. I caressed his back while he whispered repeated proclamations of love in my ear. We lay like that until our breathing was back to normal and he rolled off me.

He pecked me on the cheek quickly, saying, "Be right back."

He went into the bathroom--I'm guessing to dispose of the condom. When he returned, he crawled back into my bed and snuggled up against me.

"Heeeey, Edward. Where's Charlie?" Mother of fuck, I just thought of that??

He started laughing and said, "He left when he let me inside. Said he wanted to give us 'privacy,' although, I don't think he quite meant for _that_." _Crisis averted._

"Oh, thank god. I can't believe I didn't even think of that before." He moved his head to rest on my chest. I played with his hair, rubbing his scalp lightly with my fingertips. His low moan of approval and the slight movement of his head urged me to continue.

"So, Bella, love…tell me about this soundtrack you have. You have no idea how intrigued I was when I recalled that bit from last night."

I groaned and argued with him for a minute. Conceding, I filled him in. He found it quite amusing, to say the least. He also seemed a bit…proud?...over the fact that _he_ had caused it. _Must be a caveman thing._

We talked for a while longer before he drifted off to sleep, still cuddling with me. I smiled to myself. It was a nice feeling. I wanted to let him sleep for a little while, but Charlie would come home eventually.

The last thought before I fell asleep as well, was about how my journey started. I had known months ago that I would be in deep shit if I ever fell for Edward Cullen. I even set rules for myself to prevent it. The thing about it was that, once it happened, I found that I didn't care.

I had the love of a man that I couldn't see myself ever getting tired of…which was great since all I wanted was to see him--every day--for the rest of my life.

Screw my rules.

* * *

**References**

_Yo Gabba Gabba_- Just how I described it. I actually like it, most days. My kids are obsessed with it. See profile for a link to an example.

**Mental Soundtrack**

_Listen to Your Heart_- DHT version

**Songs used**

_Coconut Skins_- Damien Rice

_Vulnerable_- Secondhand Serenade

_Overweight_- Blue October (my fave song of theirs)

_Kelsey_- Metro Station (Bella's song, just with her name replacing 'Kelsey')

_Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me_- Elton John

**A/N 2.0**

So that's it. I warned you on the sweetness, so please don't leave a review that says it was too sappy, lol. And the whole virginity thing not hurting…well, that is how it was for me. I know that not everyone has it hurt the first time, so I wrote what I knew.

I want to thank each and every person that has ever read, reviewed, recced, or just enjoyed this story. I didn't realize how awesome it would be to put something out there with such a big chunk of myself crammed into it, and have such an amazing response.

Here is my offering: While the story is over, I can't help feeling I'm not quite done. The epilogue will focus on the future, and will not address anything already written in the story directly. So, I have decided that for you, my wonderful readers, I will do a few outtakes by request. Please let me know in a review or PM if there is a scene that you'd like to see in an alternate POV, or a scene that I alluded to but didn't write. I'll put them into a poll and take the top 3-4, depending on the subject. These will be posted as a separate story, as just outtakes, so make sure you have me on author alert, if you don't already.

I'll save my big, long-winded thanks for the epilogue (yes, I know this was long-winded too). ;)


	15. EpilogueTasty Tidbits

**A/n **

**Hi. I'm very sorry this took so long, but I had to get my next fic up and running, and to be honest...I was kind of putting it off. I didn't really want it to end. I'll see you at the bottom. **

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* * *

  
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**EPOV (Five Years Later) **

Bella appeared in the doorway at the end of the aisle, and it was all I could do to not run to meet her, throwing decorum out the window.

I just had to stand here, patiently, while she made her way—_slowly_—down the white runner.

Charlie had what appeared to be a vice-grip on her hand, clearly not entirely ready to give her away. He had known for a long time what my intentions were, and I was well aware that if I ever hurt her, he'd have my nuts in a glass case on the mantle. He used those words, no joke. _Point taken_.

_Step_.

Since my mind was moving a million miles per second, incredibly anxious for her to cross those last fifty feet, I let it wander a bit.

_My graduation. _Bella's face as she proudly sat next to my parents, barely containing her excitement.

_Step._

_Bella's graduation--_which I wouldn't have missed for the world. It meant that she would be free to come join me at college. We'd already had an apartment picked out just off campus, and were counting the minutes until we could spend the night together and not have one of us sneak out early in the morning.

I won't lie and say it was a breeze to be away from Bella for that first year at college, because it wasn't. We spoke on the phone every day, texted constantly, and I went home to see her most weekends, or else she came out to see me. We made it work.

_Step._

_The day I asked permission to marry her._ We had been at school for about six months, and I didn't want to wait any longer. I told Bella that I had to take a short trip for a class one day, but I was really driving back to Forks to see her father. He was the only one that could possibly have an answer to what I needed to know.

Lucky for me, Charlie must have had a good weekend fishing, because he was in an incredibly giving mood. He not only gave me permission to ask Bella to be my wife, he told me he was glad that I made a fool of myself back on that cold day in his front yard.

I expressed my gratitude to him, and showed him the ring I had picked up from my mother's house. It had been my grandmother's, and was passed down to me to be put on the finger of the woman with whom I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

For good measure, I also called Renee to ask her permission, and judging by the squealing and ear-splitting shrieking, she was all for it.

_Step_.

I'd had it all planned out. I was going to wait until our two year anniversary, take her to a nice restaurant, buy her flowers, and do the whole 'down on bended knee' thing…but even the best laid plans go awry. What actually happened was that as soon as I returned home and saw her beautiful face lying against the pillow while she slept, I couldn't wait.

I didn't _want_ to wait.

I kneeled next to the bed and gently shook her shoulder, trying to rouse her. You'd have thought waking her would have been the easy part, but Bella could sleep through a freight train.

"Bella, love, wake up."

"Wha…?" She squinted at me, opening one eye half-way, and scrunching up her face. Glancing at the clock, she said, "Edward, it's late. What the hell?"

I tried to choke back my laugh, but it slipped out, eliciting a glare from her.

"Can you wake up for a minute, hon? Just sit up for me." I tried to help her sit up, hearing grumbling the entire time.

"What's going on? Why do I need to sit up? Can't this wait until morning?" She rubbed her eyes sleepily, and I felt bad for a fraction of a second.

"Absolutely not." I fumbled with the box in my pocket and grasped her hand in mine.

She was a bit more alert by then, and when she realized I was still on my knees, holding her hand, I heard a small intake of breath. "Edward, tell me what is going on. Now." _So impatient_.

"Bella. I had this whole thing planned out, I was going to wait for the perfect moment…but then I realized it didn't matter how I did it. The only thing that matters is what your answer is, and I can get that _right now_."

Our eyes had adjusted to the dark with a little help from the moonlight shining through the window, and I met her gaze, held up the small, velvet box, and asked, "Would you please do me the honor of being my wife?"

Her eyes widened and she gasped, "Shut up. Are you kidding me right now? Are you serious?"

I laughed again and assured her I was. I held up the box, opening it, and she scrambled across the bed to turn on the lamp.

I pulled the ring out of its snug pillow and slipped it onto her finger. She simply stared at it for a minute, letting it sink in.

"So, is that a 'yes'?" I gave her a hopeful half-smile, and she nodded her head slowly, raising her eyes to meet mine once again. Smiling, she whispered, "Yes".

"I love you, Isabella Swan. I'm such a lucky bastard." Laughing, I wrapped her up in a hug, and then kissed her neck lightly, moving up over her jaw to her mouth. She received my kisses with sighs and near-purrs, and returned them with escalating force.

I leaned us back onto the bed, and spent the next hour making love to the woman that I was going to marry. Engaged sex seemed to be even better than dating sex. Maybe it was the knowledge that I would get to do this for the rest of my life. Maybe it was the happiness radiating out of both of us. I couldn't say with certainty what the cause was, but Goddamn did it feel fantastic.

_Step_.

Alice and Jasper's wedding, where their first dance was to _Made to Love You_ by Gerald Levert; only, instead of the original, Jasper had asked me to do a recording on the piano, accompanied by my own singing. I was flattered that he'd ask me, and made sure to make it perfect. I wasn't going to school for Music Composition for nothing. It was my forte.

Imagine Alice's surprise when my voice came streaming out of the speakers as they started to sway.

_I recall when we first met, a long time ago_

_How could I forget, the way I felt when I first laid eyes on you?_

_I remember saying to my friends, "There is my future wife," and then_

_I took the steps to meet someone who would change my life._

Alice's eyes searched me out at the head table, silently mouthing '_thank you_', before returning to Jasper as they blissfully danced.

_Step_.

Jasper's request wasn't the last time I did something of that nature. Emmett decided that it was something he wanted to do for Rosalie at their wedding, which happened the following year. They weren't usually a sentimental couple, but he thought that perhaps a nice gesture at their wedding would be acceptable.

He asked me to put my own spin on _Have a Little Faith in Me. _It was his secret signal to Rose that she could count on him for anything, no matter what façade they displayed for the rest of the world. Rosalie had been a hard nut to crack, and it took Emmett a lot of time to convince her to trust him. They learned the hard way that fantastic monkey sex (his words, _not_ mine) was not the most important thing in a relationship. I'm sure we could all partake in that nugget of wisdom.

_Step._

I thought about the past four years, and how that first year with the cakes started a tradition. I've surprised her every year with the amount of cakes equal to her age. She still acts surprised, even after she knows it is coming, and I love her for that.

In fact, the whole 'I don't like surprises' deal has pretty much gone right out the window, once she realized how great they could be if they involved the right people (her and I, naturally). That was why I had no doubt that she would like the surprise I had in store for her at the reception.

I couldn't possibly allow Jasper and Emmett to show me up with their dances, so of course I had to record my own cover.

I chose Ben Folds Five's _The Luckiest_. The song completely described how I felt about Bella, and it eerily echoed our relationship. With lyrics like '_I don't get many things right the first time, In fact, I am told_ _that a lot. Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls brought me here'_ starting the song off, how could I pass it up?

Talk about not getting things right the first time…hell, I didn't get them right the second time! But really, I wouldn't change a single thing that happened. Every second of our past helped to shape our present, and continues framing our future. _I__ really__ c__ould__ be deep when I put my mind to it_.

_Step_.

Bella took her final step to stand beside me, and Charlie grudgingly let go of her hand, passing her off to me.

"Son, don't forget what I told you," he said giving me a gruff reminder before he hugged me.

"Sir, there's no way I could ever forget that. It's branded in my mind." Charlie smiled and stepped back, finding his seat in the front pew.

"Hi."

"Hi." Bella couldn't possibly be any more beautiful than she was at that moment.

"You ready?" She nodded, and I smiled.

I grinned back, "Then let's go."

*****

**BPOV**

Maybe it took us five years, but we got there eventually. I mean, it never was in our style to do things the easy way, right?

_THERE WERE TIMES I RAN TO HIDE_

_AFRAID TO SHOW THE OTHER SIDE_

_ALONE IN THE NIGHT, WITHOUT YOU_

I took Edward's hand as Charlie released me, and practically floated up to stand in front of the officiant. My eyes never left Edward's.

_BUT NOW I KNOW JUST WHO YOU ARE_

_AND I KNOW YOU HOLD MY HEART,_

_FINALLY, THIS IS WHERE I BELONG_

_IT IS YOU I HAVE LOVED, ALL ALONG_

My smile grew into a grin as my soundtrack spoke up one more time. Though it didn't happen as often, I still played the jukebox of my life in my mind. Sometimes I shared the song with Edward, sometimes I kept it for myself, and it drove him crazy. _I loved it._

Edward glanced at me with a questioning smile, and I just minutely shook my head. He narrowed his eyes briefly and smirked, knowing full well what was going on in my head.

I have no real recollection of the words we parroted. They didn't matter that much. What did matter was that we'd made it. Through all the rules, the songs, the confusion--we made it.

I couldn't wait to see what else we would make it through.

* * *

The End.

Final soundtrack song is _It Is You (I Have Loved)_ by Dana Glover.

I dedicate that chapter to my husband, who actually did that proposal. And yes, I acted like Bella did.

I know it was short. I know. But, I feel that epilogues don't really need to have a ton of detail, as long as they tell you what the characters have been up to, and give you some glimpse into their future. I hope I did that well.

Thank you. Thank you to Tosh and Red, who have held my hand through this thing. Thank you to venis_envy, who helped me out the last few chapters, and Emma as well. Thank you to anyone who ever recced me to a friend. Thank you to anyone that ever reviewed. Thank you to anyone that flat out just *read*.

Now, those of you that had me on author alert already know that my new fic, **The Heiress**, has 3 chapters posted. If you haven't started reading it, please check my profile ;). It's a fun one.

Don't forget that I will do a couple outtakes---one will be Jasper's POV from the final chapter, when Edward sleeps on him all night. Tell me what you want the other to be. These will be listed under their own story.


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